Am I being too friendly and helpful at the reception school gates .?

Have you had any pushback from any parents?

OP you sound lovely, don’t ever change! And on another completely irrelevant side note. Your English is amazing after 5 years!!

Done with good faith but honestly, I think it will be a bit overbearing for some. Some parents are trying to let the kids become independent and the only way to do that is by letting them have a go first.

You sound delightful and your son is going to learn wonderful social skills from watching you.

All I'd say is that, if a parent is close by when a child needs or asks for help, you could just give the parent a glance; they'll probably hear the child asking or see that they need help, and if you make eye contact they can give you a 'go ahead' nod or say, 'It's OK, darling, Mummy/Daddy will help you with your sleeves' or whatever.
Make it clear that you're aware the parent is there and you'll step away if they want you to, is what I'm trying to say.

I'm not in the UK either but I would think offering to help a kid is a bit strange. If they drop their bag they should pick it up. I work in pre school and we spend 2 years teaching kids how to take responsibility for their stuff and to be physically independent. I find it annoying when parents do things for them as it creates a dependency which many kids are only too happy to indulge in and it makes our job very difficult. I also had to work hard to make sure my kids were school ready and capable of managing themselves. In that sense I think I would be irritated at someone intervening and going against what I've been working towards. Chatting to children is lovely and chatting to parents too. I like friendly chatty people and don't have much respect for the ones who stare at the ground and avoid eye contact.

You sound absolutely lovely.

Another vote for you being lovely and to not change!

@sofisofi volunteering in school is completely different to general social interactions at the start of the school day when you’re there as a fellow parent. Don’t let the comments here put you off volunteering for things like that.

No it’s fine, you’re a school mum being helpful. We’re reserved… not cruel.

No it’s fine, you’re a school mum being helpful. We’re reserved… not cold.

You sound a delightful person. Keep doing what you are doing. We need more people like you in the world. 🙏

God I would have loved to meet you at the school gates! It seemed like all the other parents were so cold and dreary (not that they actually were dour people, it was just normal life-stress).

Seeing a friendly face who was happy to occasionally muck in with wrangling the kids would have brightened my day so much, and as a full-time sole parent even the tiniest bit of help (like rolling up sleeves) always felt like a gift.

Keep being yourself, you are teaching your sweet wee lad very good life lessons, and hopefully your openness and warmth will shift the school-gate culture a little bit.

I am surprised the school have you all in the classroom. Where I work this is a real bug bear and would definitely be frowned upon. Parents drop at the door and TAs and teachers are there to help.

If it's the norm where you are though I think being friendly is fine, but I wouldn't be hanging round to chat to kids and parents specifically in the classroom. For some this can make it harder to settle. Also I agree with others I wouldn't be helping, it seems weird children would come up to you and ask you instead of a parent and I would redirect them back to them so you don't tread on their toes.

Can we be friends? That sounds lovely.

you sound so lovely & friendly - keep being you!! ♥️

If I see the children struggling to roll up their sleeves, or if their water bottles or bags fall, my instinct is to step in.

That to me is overstepping, especially so if their parents are close by.

Sometimes you want your dc to learn without someone stepping in - one of mine would have made full use of someone doing things for her - still would 😁

Irish here too, and also struggle living in the south of England with the way the people are here. The people further north were so much friendlier.

The OP's culture sounds more like our own friendly Irish culture.

I think helping the children is when she has volunteered in the classroom rather than infront of the parent

I think its lovely, I am an older mam of a 4 year old (I'm age 34) and I think its refreshing you are helping and have that confidence. I didnt have that confidence at your age so hats off to you for that. I would appreciate you if you were a volunteer at my sons school and would generally just think you were being helpful at the school gates too. My little boy fell over on the other side of little yard one day before going in and another mother picked him up and dusted him down before I got to him...she apologised when I walked over, im assuming because she was worried I thought she had over stepped, and I thanked her for helping him and said there was absolutely no need to apologise.

Ive seen some discouraging comments and its sad that we live in a society that can be quite reserved and judgemental.

If your worried or feel parents are a bit off then maybe just talk to the children instead, but to me it sounds like you are a lovely influence on the children in general. Some of the parents at our school gates dont interact and are glued to their phone which is so sad to see.

Youre doing great lovely lady

You sound like a lovely kind hearted person.

I am British and am about 25 years older than you. I would warn you that there are a lot of people who will take advantage of your good nature.

So carry on, but be careful you’re not giving more than you can afford. I don’t mean financially, I mean time, sanity etc.

So sorry Irish people! I am English but hung out with Irish people for a long time in London and genuinely felt more Irish in terms of culture. I really don't get why we English are generally so reserved - it's almost as if we are afraid to be open and friendly. Let go people!! There's really nothing to be afraid of in being friendly to others.