Am I being too friendly and helpful at the reception school gates .?

Socialize with parents, not children.
You are not a member of staff, don't have a DBS.
I don't want my kid to be taught to be too accepting of 'random', not vetted adults.
I'd be so pissed.

@sofisofi you sound amazing! I try and do the same as I also want to encourage my kids to be less shy.

I wish more people were more community focused.

You sound wonderful and many Mums will be so grateful for you as the children grow up and you can start to be a village.

I was a bit like that too and now I currently have a kitchen full of teenage girls all chatting away to me, telling me the gossip and their worries. (Only 1 is mine).

Carry on being you x

I’m going to go against the apparent consensus in this thread and say I
think children should do as much for themselves as possible. My opinion is based on a lot of learning I have done about child development and my experience in
working as a teaching assistant for many years. Of course many children will be grateful for someone helping them but it doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of doing it for themselves.

Sorry if I'm pissing on anyone's chips here, but I'm as British (and to really skewer the stereotype, English) as you want to get and will talk the hind legs off a donkey. Absolutely I chat to the kids, help them out, join in their games at parties etc. it hasn't ever been commented on or complained about and it's not an unusual trait. And I'm not in the north, either!
OP sounds like my kind of person, and lovely, but can we please put this bizarre sweeping notion that the Brits are cold and reserved in the bin, along with 'our food is shit' and we all talk like the queen. Outdated, unwarranted and as a non-reserved Brit, annoying!

This
Its lovely being kind and chatting to kids and parents
But, I would find it weird if I didn’t know you or your kids.

also, as this PP said, never offer food! Or even a sweet. I have a child with anaphylaxis so understandably protective of them and who is physically near them

My son is 14 now but when I he was little I left him to do things himself wherever possible before I jumped in, this was deliberate. I’d honestly be a bit annoyed if someone else was jumping in to help! Sorry! You do sound nice, I’d have loved you chatting to him!

The world needs more like you OP 🫶🏻 I love that you do this. Don’t stop just to conform, this world can never have too much kindness. Thank you for all the wee things you do to make a big difference by the sounds of it.

You sound great, keep on being you! You might get a few people who don't like it, but whatever, you can't please everyone!

You sound lovely but let the parents help their kids unless you are friends (not just friendly) with the parents. It's not reserved or to do with a 'village', I'd rather my daughter learned to help herself without an adult automatically stepping in. Never give food unless you've asked the parent. Please do volunteer though.

What a way to go about the world. What is lost by that attitude to the warmth and kindness of other people is almost certainly far far greater than the tiniest chance of something bad being done to your child by a 'random unvetted adult'. What children need to learn is judgement, discernment and gpod insticts - which can only be learned by interacting with people - not a blanket assumption of malevolence

I think you sound lovely ♥️

We need more people like you in the world 🌎 build your village and I hope other people at your sons school are inspired by you

You sound absolutely lovely and very self aware and sensitive to other people. I’m a KS1 teacher and would be so grateful for such a positive role model. Will you join the PTFA? As I think you’d be a godsend.

Absolutely you are being lovely and I'm the sort of parent if anyone offers to help I'm incredibly grateful! I'm English and do the same but probably a bit more reserved. I'll make eye contact, ask if I can help and reactions are mixed. Some say yes please and others ignore or say no I'm fine.

OP please carry on unapologetically being yourself & being friendly & kind. You are clearly mindful of boundaries but you like children and helping comes naturally. I'm very similar.

Also, please, please come and be a helper in my Squirrels section, I think you'd be perfect!

You sound absolutely wonderful. The only thing for me is, I am trying to get my daughter, (nearly 4) to try and do more things for herself. So it might look to others that I’m maybe ignoring her need for help, when I’m trying to get her to learn. If you came in and helped, I’d be both annoyed and happy that you are lovely.

You sound fabulous and I would want to befriend you! I’m British but chat with the other kids at the Reception gates.

You sound lovely. Please don’t change. Hopefilly people will follow your example.

Please can you come to our school, the arrival and leaving chaos could do with a friendly assistant.

Nooooo, you sound lovely. Do not adjust your behaviour.
We should ALL be more Sofisofi 😍

I agree. Please move house to near me!

I think you sound lovely and I wouldn't particularly mind you helping but I also prefer to encourage independence. I volunteer once a week at a school and at least once a week a small child asks me for help putting on their shoes. I always say "you try, and I'll help you if you need it". Sometimes they put them straight on, sometimes I give a few tips like "other foot'! Very rarely I need to physically help. Once they've done it I say "well done I knew you could do it". I think that's better for their self esteem than just helping.

You sound a lovely person to have around. I hope people appreciate you

I'm going to be a hundred percent honest.

There are far worse things than being friendly, so you are doing nothing wrong Op - although I do understand why some parents might prefer you left their child's needs to them if they are there.

However, there have been a lot of comments on this thread about why are the English so reserved etc, and I think you deserve what is, from my perspective, an honest answer.

I think politeness is always welcomed, but overstepping not so much.

Politeness leaves no-one feeling awkward, and allows just enough friendliness for people not to feel snubbed, but, importantly, also doesn't create a sense of being smothered. Sometimes if someone is unusually friendly, it can come across as a bit self-ingratiating. In other words, whereas politeness is something you do to make others feel comfortable, it starts to seem less something you are doing for the other person, and more as though they are the target of you trying to make them like you. That can get people's spidey senses up, because it makes them wonder why you need people to like you so much. Are you covering up that you are NOT a nice person? Do you find it difficult to make friends and keep them? Have you a particular favour in mind or something you want to gain from befriending them? There a point beyond politeness where friendliness can tip into this sort of dynamic. Of course as you get to know people, friendships develop and deepen and a warmer and more attentive dynamic becomes normal. But laying it on thick when you don't have that relationship can make people feel forced into an interaction style they are not ready for.

I don't mean that unkindly, but since you have posted, you are obviously aware that it can be an issue, and, in a nutshell, it can come across as trying to play on someone's politeness to accept advances or respond in a way they are not ready for. And no-one likes feeling forced.

For that reason, I would be a little guided by the levels of friendliness around you, and remember to respect that as well as demonstrating an openness to people.