MIL ignoring DS allergies

Even if you were actually overreacting (which you’re not, as per Dr’s advice and basic common sense), a normal person would indulge you, what with you having just had a horrible emergency involving your child being rushed to hospital in an ambulance. Your DH and his mum are awful, please make sure someone knows what they’re doing and is there to support you.

Wow. I’d be telling your husband you want to separate. Get all of this in text too so you have evidence of his negligence for the inevitable custody battle.

Sorry OP, your husband is an arsehole.

You're a great mum, keep doing what you're doing!

Good grief. I’d tell him to move out and take his mum with him

Nevermind the mother-in-law

Your husband is nuts

Perhaps the medical team you are dealing with can have a word with your stupid husband about what a dangerous fool he is being. This is quite frightening to read, OP, it's pure parental negligence on his part by putting his child in harms way. I work in hospitality and if my business was to take such a blasé approach to allergies I would be shut down and potentially jailed and fined should someone get hurt, because if I did to my customers what your DH did to your child it would be a criminal offence. I don't know how this works in private settings but I would want your DH, and MILs, actions recorded somewhere. He is not a safe person for your child to be around. And name calling in front of DC too is abusive to both of you. Please seek support from Woman's Aid and the medical team treating your child.

You are all saying kick them out, without even establishing whose house it is. Did MIL maybe sell her accommodation and gave the money to her ds to buy the house they are all living in how? This sort of sentence 'MIL is living with us' - actually, who is living with whom, that is what is necessary to establish, before throwing around sentences like 'kick them out'.

On a separate note, unacceptable behaviour. The whole airplane understands and forgoes snacks when they announce 'nut allergy passenger on the flight' and everybody understands.

As others have said, your DH is the problem. Do they not realize that even if your MIL eats nuts in her room, the residue can be on her hands, and if she then touches your son it could set off a reaction?

Wow do you not have family/ friends you can go to in the interim? Rather than stay with these idiots

I would be careful that your dh hasn't told her to continue buying them and just to hide them in future. Selfish bastards, you can tell they are related can’t you.

Also your DH and MIL sound thick as fuck

THIS!! EVEN IF you were overreacting, how hard would it be to just be gentle for a few weeks? NO ONE needs a bag of walnuts THAT badly.

Change the locks next time they leave the house.

If the allergy team or anyone at school finds out that this child is being unnecessarily put in danger like this then more will happen than a stern word. It’s akin to leaving poison lying around the house.

My dd is anaphylactic to peanuts and it’s already like playing Russian Roulette. Never mind grandparents actively bringing something into the house that can kill your child. Every play date when you leave them with someone you don’t really know, every meal out where you just have to trust that the restaurant won’t kill your child is a risk. I’ve had other parents give my dd a chocolate biscuit where the ingredient list wasn’t in English, telling her it didn’t contain peanuts.

That's stupid advice. You have no clue who even owns the house!

Meanwhile, this is fabulous evidence that your MIL and DH are negligent/dangerous and should not have custody. Can you take a photo of the nuts and maybe the receipt to show who paid for them?

I doubt MiL has any financial interest in OP’s house. In her 70s and with health issues she has an expectation of needing care at some point and if she needed residential care, unless there were very specific circumstances, the house would need to be sold and her interest used for care fees.

Sit together as a family. Explain slow and whilst speaking clearly and in no uncertain terms thatchers are to be NO NUTS in the house due to your child‘s severe allergy.

Your husband sounds like he needs telling as well. He sounds quite dismissive of the issue.

You can’t change the locks on a jointly owned marital home.

Please remove these nuts from your home straight away. They are a potential life threatening hazard to your son. Ignore protests from MIL/husband. Get them out of the house.
Then contact sons school and update them- this is a safeguarding concern- it really is very serious. The school could advise you on next steps as could your GP. Your job is to keep your son safe. If you don’t think he is safe at home take him to a and e and speak to a doctor.

I cannot believe his reaction. He clearly knows nothing about allergies.
I am so sorry OP. You are the only one trying to keep DS safe.

An anaphylactic response to Quinoa??? I’ve never heard of that before, I didn’t think Quinoa was an allergen

Absolutely GOBSMACKED that you didn’t kick them both out wtaf

Oh OP I'm so sorry you're in this situation- obviously your husband yelling names at you in front of your DS is marriage ending stuff, but you dont sound that shocked even, so i guess he has form?
And then you're in the situation of how do you separate when your co-parent cant even do something so simple to keep your son safe?

BTW - MiL has told you she's binned the packets, but have you actually seen her do it and checked they're still unopened?

What is it with men and their mothers! This is DHs problem to sort out.

Also, why was your DH in the bedroom with his mother…..🫣 That is deeply disturbing and concerning