He was very touchy-feely on date BUT I didn't object and kissed him back.

I was on the date for 3hrs and he was quite touchy from early on and even kissed me within an hour-ish so I was uneasy throughout most of it. After we finished our drinks about 2hrs later, he offered me a 2nd round and I accepted. I could've gone home after first drink but didn't. When we kissed goodbye, I said I'd text him when I got home and told him, 'thanks for the date, hope you got home safe.' But next day I ended it.

I believe touching and kissing is not for first dates. Even if you're a couple in an established relationship you should only be sitting opposite each other at a table. On previous dates when men have touched me, I've been put off.

I wasn't asking if I'm unreasonable for ending it, I was asking if I was unreasonable for not communicating better and expecting him to know what I was thinking - yes, I know I touched/kissed him back, didn't flinch and accepted a 2nd drink and stayed 3hrs and I know people do all this but it's just not me. I was hoping the responses here would be more objective and fair and not biased simply cos I'm a fellow-woman as it defeats the purpose of asking - but I guess that's MN. Someone mentioned if this was a court case, I'd have to do better.

What don't you believe? I know I'm a new account but I swear this happened, why would I make it up? The other thread I started was just my misunderstanding and I've texted that guy back since. I actually already asked admin to delete this thread cos it was making me anxious, that's why I didn't post for a day.

I went on this date and found the guy very, very attractive before and during but I didn't tell him to stop touching/kissing cos I'm honestly too polite, I always have been and maybe that's my problem. I just don't want anyone to think I'm a b by saying stop and thereby upset myself. I was attracted and thought he was nice and I kissed/touched him back but it was just too much. And I stayed for the 2nd drink cos he already offered and was getting up and I wanted to give him a chance, I actually wanted to like him so perhaps in hindsight I was trying to talk myself into it and that's maybe why I stayed for 3hrs (didn't stay longer as it was 11pm). He was nice but the touching was too much, I tried to get into it but I just couldn't. If it wasn't for the touching/kissing, I'd see him again. I sent a "thanks for the date" text later cos I thought it was polite. I know I need to toughen-up but I find it SO hard and worry people will think I'm mean. I'm only saying all these details now cos I didn't think it was relevant before.

I don't know why I'm being gas-lit or blamed for the date.

As for couples in relationships should always sit across from each other and you should never kiss on first dates or sit besides each other - that's just me. I've had guys try it on and I didn't like it. PDAs make me anxious too, that's why couples should sit opposite. Yes, I know I kissed my date but most of the time no one was around except later on when a group came in and sat at the far end later on.

I was on the date for 3hrs and he was quite touchy from early on and even kissed me within an hour-ish so I was uneasy throughout most of it. After we finished our drinks about 2hrs later, he offered me a 2nd round and I accepted. I could've gone home after first drink but didn't. When we kissed goodbye, I said I'd text him when I got home and told him, 'thanks for the date, hope you got home safe.' But next day I ended it.

I believe touching and kissing is not for first dates. Even if you're a couple in an established relationship you should only be sitting opposite each other at a table. On previous dates when men have touched me, I've been put off.

I wasn't asking if I'm unreasonable for ending it, I was asking if I was unreasonable for not communicating better and expecting him to know what I was thinking - yes, I know I touched/kissed him back, didn't flinch and accepted a 2nd drink and stayed 3hrs and I know people do all this but it's just not me. I was hoping the responses here would be more objective and fair and not biased simply cos I'm a fellow-woman as it defeats the purpose of asking - but I guess that's MN. Someone mentioned if this was a court case, I'd have to do better.

I know all that but I just don't think he should have been stroking my knee/leg mostly. I know I didn't say anything to stop him but I was being too polite.

I remember now, before I was about to sit at the first table he said, "Oh, can we sit on the couch over there instead so it's not an interview?". This was at the very start of the date and he hadn't started touching me at all at this point but I admit I didn't say no then either. He later told me his previous date insisted they sit opposite each other and he never touched her and he had no problem with that. So yes, I admit I could've said no and he'd been OK.

Also about 1hr into the date, I remember after we'd been kissing and while he was touching my knee he asked me if I was having fun. I replied 'yes'. He said that made him feel glad cos I told him before men my age are usually boring. Maybe that's where he got the impression I was OK with it? I admit I said yes quite enthusiastically but again I'm too polite.

I later joked about the knee-rubbing and said, "Shall I get you a leg of lamb to rub cos you like legs so much?" I laughed about it so I guess that didn't help me either. I know you'll think I'm weird for all this.

A couple days later after he already apologized and took full responsibility for his actions (he never defended himself) I texted him back saying during all the leg touching I was screaming inside which made me zone-out and cut-off and that's why I never said anything. When he questioned that, I said I'm basically too polite.

Out of interest why did your date send you a voice note apologising the next day if he thought you were as in to into it as he was? Was it an actual apology or a ‘oops but you were irresistible’ type message?

How is he at fault? He was all over me like a spider and I felt pressured to accept his touching. I said I was having "fun" to be polite. Below is everything after the date.

I ended it via a short text next day saying he made me uncomfortable. Then he sent a voice-note apologizing and he owned up to being out of line.

Couple days ago, I sent a voice-note back accepting the apology but also told him off for his actions in more detail and he needs to keep hands to himself, that even in relationships you should sit opposite eachother.

He then sent a long text, said he was shocked/upset and started slating me saying, "The whole date was a lie, why did you stay for 2nd drink and 3hrs, why did you say you were having fun, why didn't you say no/stop, why text me thanks for the date, why kiss/touch me back and hold my hand, are you a masochist, are you Orthodox Jew, surly you shutdown kiss attempts before- why not mine, being polite wouldn't wash in court so why would it here, why is the onus on me to decipher your mixed signals just so you can avoid directness" and other similar fancy sentences, big words and his actor lines. I felt he was gas-lighting and blaming me and speaking in riddles when it was him all over me. He said he accepted he was accountable and will learn from it but he added I should do the same cos we're both at fault. He said he knows I won't listen cos I'm angry and my anger won't allow me to take accountability my end. He said I need to learn to speak-up and although I do know I need to toughen-up, he was the one all over me.

I agreed with him in the end about speaking-up and said I'd take it onboard but still told him I thought he was disrespectful. He replied saying he's glad I'll take it onboard and that you can still be polite and say no and that if I did say say stop, he wouldn't have thought I was mean so I shouldn't assume. He said we all want people who are just straight with us. That's the last of it today.

How is he at fault? He was all over me like a spider and I felt pressured to accept his touching. I said I was having "fun" to be polite. Below is everything after the date.

I ended it via a short text next day saying he made me uncomfortable. Then he sent a voice-note apologizing and he owned up to being out of line.

Couple days ago, I sent a voice-note back accepting the apology but also told him off for his actions in more detail and he needs to keep hands to himself, that even in relationships you should sit opposite eachother.

He then sent a long text, said he was shocked/upset and started slating me saying, "The whole date was a lie, why did you stay for 2nd drink and 3hrs, why did you say you were having fun, why didn't you say no/stop, why text me thanks for the date, why kiss/touch me back and hold my hand, are you a masochist, are you Orthodox Jew, surly you shutdown kiss attempts before- why not mine, being polite wouldn't wash in court so why would it here, why is the onus on me to decipher your mixed signals just so you can avoid directness" and other similar fancy sentences, big words and his actor lines. I felt he was gas-lighting and blaming me and speaking in riddles when it was him all over me. He said he accepted he was accountable and will learn from it but he added I should do the same cos we're both at fault. He said he knows I won't listen cos I'm angry and my anger won't allow me to take accountability my end. He said I need to learn to speak-up and although I do know I need to toughen-up, he was the one all over me.

I agreed with him in the end about speaking-up and said I'd take it onboard but still told him I thought he was disrespectful. He replied saying he's glad I'll take it onboard and that you can still be polite and say no and that if I did say say stop, he wouldn't have thought I was mean so I shouldn't assume. He said we all want people who are just straight with us. That's the last of it today.

Come on - this must be a joke thread - no one is over 50 and behaving like the OP and Mr Too Handsy.