Dh and I occasionally, roughly once a month, spend time with a large group of friends who all drink a lot. We used to hang out with them more before we moved out of London.
I want to stop drinking, maybe not fully as I do enjoy a pint or two and a good chat down the pub, but certainly want to quit drinking as much as I end up doing when we hang out with this group. I always feel terrible the next day, crying, with awful hanxiety. It always ruins the rest of my weekend, the following week, and makes both me and dh kind of moody for days thereafter which increases the risk of petty/unnecessary arguments and bickering in the week that follows.
Dh is understanding about me wanting to drink less but also doesn’t really want to step back from the group in the same way I do. He also ends up drinking a lot, even when he expresses to me beforehand that he doesn’t want to let it spiral. This also means we’re wasting hundreds of pounds on alcohol every month…
I read on the internet that sometimes addiction is not about seeking out the vice (alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, whatever it may be) but that it sometimes is driven by environmental triggers, so if you find yourself in certain environments you can’t stop yourself/your brain finds ways to justify indulging even though you don’t really want to do it/you’ve been “behaving” for weeks/months. I think that’s how it feels when we spend time with them. When we’re not around this group we have a very normal and healthy relationship with alcohol and don’t smoke at all.
Has anybody been through something similar? How did you navigate this?