AIBU to think we now live in a society where nobody cares about other people’s experiences in social spaces?

I rarely go out and if I do it's just to the GP, dentist or vet or something like that but inevitably everyone has their noses stuck in their phones. Honestly a disaster could happen and they'd not notice. DP is just the same now as well. I am a rare bird who doesn't take my phone with me and sits observing the world going by. I noticed the other day the magazines that are normally in the waiting room have gone. I imagine commuting is far worse with the sounds of devices on, people have become very selfish on top of their addiction to the online world. Days of Noah. If you know, you know.

Agree completely. My brother and family visited us this summer he is 50 years old and we were at the beach together. I could hear music playing and was looking around to see who was being so rude and realised it was him. Made him turn it off immediately, but he really couldn’t not understand the problem

I commute by train and agree that the selfishness of people watching loud videos, listening to loud musics, conducting lengthy conversations on speaker. I find it really irritating. Once, a woman conducted a whole meeting on teams at too volume.

I hadn’t thought about the headphones issue but it’s a very good point. There’s much more faffing about with ear buds or headphones. I guess the other thing is that there is so much more available in terms of films, visions etc. I listen to Podcasts on my commute as it does tine out the noise to some degree.

To my mind this is result of a ‘checking out of community,’ mindset. People no longer give a shit, and it shows.

Of course mass migration is a factor. Different cultures do not mesh together well as a general rule shown throughout human history. There are exceptions, notable exceptions which result in a flowering, but in general they have not worked. And there is a majority of men migrants and they are causing issues in crime.

The res publica required thought and energy to set up. Thats gone now. Everything is all just about the money. There are a large number of factors involved, but a bunch of men with different ideas, distinctly encouraged to not integrate with ours, do not help.

What sit on their knees? I mean the seats aren’t available for locals if others are sitting on them - cafe owners can only take up so much of the pavement.

Where I used to live it was a culturally acceptable thing. Mostly African commuters with one or two whites and my goodness that bus was loud with people talking on their phones on loudspeaker or people playing their music and social media reels out loud. They also thought nothing about pushing on the bus and those buses were diabolical! I could've been waiting an hour for it, queue is formed and daily, some African person would turn up and go right to the front when the bus arrived. Most of it was a cultural unawareness, rather than them being twats, but it made me pledge never to move to Africa. I love peace and quiet and a nice formed queue.

I then moved to a majority white area and the commute is heaven. Very occasionally will there be a phone played out loud, but it's usually turned down or off with everyone's stares and tuts.o

How do you think this will be ‘dealt with?’ There are no consequences, which is why theft is rampant and anti social behaviour endemic amongst youths.

What is with the talking loudly into the speakerphone as the person is walking around a shop, walking around the town, using public transport? I’ve noticed this is a cultural thing too.

Well if the speed of the bike is above the speed limit and you have a facial pic of rider police could clock him or the bike like they do number plates and stop him and issue a fine - I’m meaning once the tech is refined

bit not if facial recognition is banned but that would be a serious missed opportunity. I know some people are misidentified but it’s a tiny amount (if you think how many are checked at say football matches) who can be sorted later. It would be a bit like the transgender laws introduced for a tiny number of individuals but affec ting many

It drives me insane. Nowhere is sacred anymore. Even having a coffee in a park, and the peace is thwarted. I was watching tv at home one day, all chilled and across from my house was an African man on the phone on loudspeaker shouting to whoever was on the other end. It wasn't even an aggressive call, I know this because I heard every word!

99% of the time I ask people to stop. This has varying results. Recently a man squared up to me on the tube and he and his boyfriend yelled at me and called me a bitch. I also have to say that unfortunately it’s people of all ages and backgrounds (though anecdotally I think some are over-represented.)

I recently asked such a man to stop yelling into his phone on the bus because the driver was announcing a diversion - naturally I got an earful! Whilst I do appreciate some cultures have different attitudes to public space I wish everyone would get an ‘indoor voice’ and use it everywhere.

It's maddening, and it's not even young kids, it's everyone. I was in a hospital waiting room a while back and a guys about 65 was watching reel after reel out loud, obnoxious and some of them with screaming in. We all just put up with it partly for me it was to avoid a confrontation. I also think staff wouldn't necessarily get involved and if they did in the various public spaces this is a nuisance (ie waiting rooms, trains etc) and there was a rule about it, the general public would feel more backed up saying something to people. Sadly unless there's a rule against it many people will boisterously be loud and obnoxious because they can.

It sounds OTT but it's genuinely a sign of bit of societal decay, like littering does. It's so scummy.

Me too. I also think immigrants should respect the culture and acceptable behaviours of the place they've moved to.

it is so shocking, playing the music or whatever, out loud on the train. there was a man playing some american preaching out loud when i went to london recently and that made me nervous and annoyed

How do you know if they are local or not?
Cafe seating is usually for whichever customer sits there first. If that cafe is full, go elsewhere.

My local area is 95% white British, it's white British ppl behaving antisocially where I live.

I was on a coach trip yesterday, mostly middle aged people. As soon as we started off at 8 am one of the passengers were speaking on their phone on loud speaker for ages. Once that call finished, their phone was ringing again!

I don't mind so much speaking on the phones, but please don't put it on loud speaker, we don't all want to hear everything!

i think we need an overhaul of consequences now. Parents needs to be fiscally responsible for their kids behaviour. If they steal something, the parents need to pay. If they destroy something, the parents have to pay. If someone commits a crime and is in receipt of welfare then the welfare payment should reflect this. I’ve figured out after being alive five decades is the ONLY thing that illicits change is money, be that punitively or incentivising.

these are mainly adults that are behaving badly though, their parent's influence is a bit late

I must be lucky, there’s a library just down the road. I also go to the local leisure centre and pool, it’s really busy, all age groups. I do exercise classes several times a week, and a few of us also socialise. We’re mainly 75+. I also volunteer a couple of times a week. None of us would dream of playing loud music or videos in public. It has been discussed!

DD, still works part time, but goes to a craft group, and a book club. DS belongs to a walking group when he can fit in around work. These are things keep us in touch with real people. My DGC are all into tech, but they also have good manners and don’t blast everyone around with their noise.

DH had a guy in the next bed in hospital who had his TV on without using headphones. None of the staff would intervene. It was so hard for the others in the ward who were all in need of peace and quiet. The entitlement of arseholes has been allowed to expand to the detriment of the majority.

I was at a choir rehearsal and the woman next to me was texting for the first 20 minutes of the rehearsal. So rude! I told her to stop as it was distracting. She said she was organising a taxi for her husband who is in a wheelchair. So it didn’t sound like an emergency. She should have sorted it before she sat down. Then later in the day at the concert itself she was texting again on stage, even after the conductor came on. At that point I said “ Put it away” i am not normally one to protest out loud but I was livid at her rudeness. She was not a young person. She told me she was 81.

I think they get it from the television and social media. The presenters shriek and shout, as do the people on YouTube videos. They're also immature and poorly educated. Constant arguing on shows like EastEnders. People believe this is how you're supposed to behave.

Go along to any stay and play group and you will see parents (okay usually mums) on their phones while their under threes are being left to sort themselves out.
The mums rarely talk to one another - this would be a good example for the children to see adults interact in the real world which they would mimic.