AIBU to think we now live in a society where nobody cares about other people’s experiences in social spaces?

This is why I’d quite like to be rich - you could insulate yourself from this type of behaviour to some extent. Since I’m not, I do wear headphones as much as possible when out.

Yes African people are the worst for the loud speakerphone calls and scrolling videos loudly. My best mate is African and she does it, she says it’s normal for them. I always say what must it be like on a bus over there when they’re all doing it 😂

Antisocial behaviour certainly isn’t new and yes I remember people smoking on the bus (actually saw someone jacking up on the top deck of a bus once 🤮).

I think what’s changed is the complete lack of recognition of what the acceptable standards of behaviour are.

When people brought boomboxes on the bus, or booze or cigarettes they knew they were crossing a line but had decided they could get away with it. They were “sticking it to the man” or whatever but they knew they were out of order.

People watching TikTok on the bus seem completely nonplussed when you point out to them that no one wants to have it inflicted on them. I’ve pulled a few people up for it and no one has pushed back really they have just looked at me like I was speaking Swahili. They had no concept of random noise overload being a problematic thing.

It makes me think that they are growing up in households where everyone is on a different device 24/7 playing this aural soup and their brains have adjusted to it.

So if someone challenges it they think its weird and controlling.

We were in a predominantly Asian area last week and I was in a small shop with my child picking some snacks. He whispered to me that the men were having an argument. I looked up and the guy behind the counter was having an animated conversation with three other men (friends I assume) about parking I think. There was an obvious relaying of a story in Bangladesh I think. I could pick up the subtley but from my child’s point of view the raised voices and cadence just sounded like they were having a row.

What are they up to? Not the boom boxes on the shoulder?!

It’s definitely not just young people. The worst offenders on the buses where I live are women in their forties-sixties.

I know my newsfeed is giving me an antisocial youngster algorithm, but I am regularly surprised by what young people are getting up to up and down the country. We are storing up a huge amount of problems if we don’t do something about the kids that will be adults in the next decade.

No it isn’t.

The cinema doesn't make sense. How can you watch the film and be on the phone at the same time. Perhaps cinemas should collect your phone on the way in and you get it back on the way out. As usual we aren't strong enough with people.

Nah it’s not just young people. Was at a musical/comedy show a while ago and a chap who must have been in his 40’s filmed nearly the whole hour on snapchat and was sending it bit by bit to his friends. He seemed a bit weird so didn’t like to say anything.

I read on the train(and whenever else I have the chance), I just do it on my phone.

I was watching a documentary from the 1960s on YouTube the other day. It was just of ordinary people talking and they were so quiet and measured in their presentation. They could speak properly with no exaggeration or heightened emotion and their vocabulary was good. The pitch of their voices was softer and they spoke rather more slowly than people do now.

People seem so loud now and they speak faster, I suppose to get it out before the other person loses interest.

There are cultural differences. We were on holiday in Snowdonia one time and I was walking down a high street in a small town whilst the others visited a castle. Suddenly there was a loud noise from a group of Americans with their harried looking guide trying to keep order. The noise was something to behold and the other people on the street stopped and stared until they'd gone by and into the castle.

I also think years ago that more people, including children, would be reading something, book, newspaper, magazine, doing the crossword or sudoku. Nobody is interested in those things now.

Go along to any stay and play group and you will see parents (okay usually mums) on their phones while their under threes are being left to sort themselves out.
The mums rarely talk to one another - this would be a good example for the children to see adults interact in the real world which they would mimic.

I think they get it from the television and social media. The presenters shriek and shout, as do the people on YouTube videos. They're also immature and poorly educated. Constant arguing on shows like EastEnders. People believe this is how you're supposed to behave.

I was at a choir rehearsal and the woman next to me was texting for the first 20 minutes of the rehearsal. So rude! I told her to stop as it was distracting. She said she was organising a taxi for her husband who is in a wheelchair. So it didn’t sound like an emergency. She should have sorted it before she sat down. Then later in the day at the concert itself she was texting again on stage, even after the conductor came on. At that point I said “ Put it away” i am not normally one to protest out loud but I was livid at her rudeness. She was not a young person. She told me she was 81.

I must be lucky, there’s a library just down the road. I also go to the local leisure centre and pool, it’s really busy, all age groups. I do exercise classes several times a week, and a few of us also socialise. We’re mainly 75+. I also volunteer a couple of times a week. None of us would dream of playing loud music or videos in public. It has been discussed!

DD, still works part time, but goes to a craft group, and a book club. DS belongs to a walking group when he can fit in around work. These are things keep us in touch with real people. My DGC are all into tech, but they also have good manners and don’t blast everyone around with their noise.

DH had a guy in the next bed in hospital who had his TV on without using headphones. None of the staff would intervene. It was so hard for the others in the ward who were all in need of peace and quiet. The entitlement of arseholes has been allowed to expand to the detriment of the majority.

these are mainly adults that are behaving badly though, their parent's influence is a bit late

i think we need an overhaul of consequences now. Parents needs to be fiscally responsible for their kids behaviour. If they steal something, the parents need to pay. If they destroy something, the parents have to pay. If someone commits a crime and is in receipt of welfare then the welfare payment should reflect this. I’ve figured out after being alive five decades is the ONLY thing that illicits change is money, be that punitively or incentivising.

I was on a coach trip yesterday, mostly middle aged people. As soon as we started off at 8 am one of the passengers were speaking on their phone on loud speaker for ages. Once that call finished, their phone was ringing again!

I don't mind so much speaking on the phones, but please don't put it on loud speaker, we don't all want to hear everything!

My local area is 95% white British, it's white British ppl behaving antisocially where I live.

How do you know if they are local or not?
Cafe seating is usually for whichever customer sits there first. If that cafe is full, go elsewhere.

it is so shocking, playing the music or whatever, out loud on the train. there was a man playing some american preaching out loud when i went to london recently and that made me nervous and annoyed

Me too. I also think immigrants should respect the culture and acceptable behaviours of the place they've moved to.

It's maddening, and it's not even young kids, it's everyone. I was in a hospital waiting room a while back and a guys about 65 was watching reel after reel out loud, obnoxious and some of them with screaming in. We all just put up with it partly for me it was to avoid a confrontation. I also think staff wouldn't necessarily get involved and if they did in the various public spaces this is a nuisance (ie waiting rooms, trains etc) and there was a rule about it, the general public would feel more backed up saying something to people. Sadly unless there's a rule against it many people will boisterously be loud and obnoxious because they can.

It sounds OTT but it's genuinely a sign of bit of societal decay, like littering does. It's so scummy.