AIBU to think we now live in a society where nobody cares about other people’s experiences in social spaces?

People seem very rough and uncouth now. We don't go into public spaces anymore. Everywhere is too crowded and the people are so loud. I'm grateful I have a car and don't have to go onto a bus.

Wtf, brushing their teeth on public transport?

Just ugh. 🤢

It’s not just young people. My teens were eye rolling at a 70 something glued to loud reels on a train. Clueless.

I thought the no headphone socket might be the issue too, but I was on a flight recently where the man in front of me was watching a film on his iPad with no headphones. Another passenger offered him headphones and he said no. The flight attendant then asked him to turn it off, or at least reduce the volume, but he still refused.

Its actually the 3rd time its happened to me, not even an isolated occassion. My sister said someone was cutting their nails on a train she was on once! 🤢

I was just thinking about this the other day. I was on a 2 hour train journey. A mother sitting with a child had their IPad on to amuse said child, ipad blaring out loud in another language, not that that made a difference.

The only increase I’ve noticed is in the sheer number of people who whine about this, exaggerating in a way that can only come from a confirmation bias / Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.

The world hasn’t changed, you have.

It’s because no one speaks up . They inwardly seethe but stay quiet. Screw that. I was in A and E last week with a family member. I asked two separate people to turn their phones off as people were sick and didn’t want to listen to their ticktok shite. The drunk man gave off to me but turned it off. The couple sitting across from me turned theirs off too. Do it in front of other people, embarrass them and make them think twice about those around them. I really despair for society but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit silently and let them carry on being arseholes. Can you tell this really winds me up?

If people use their phones in the cinema I go to the desk and ask for them to be removed or for them to give me my money back as I’m not enjoying the film. Works every time. Well the two times I’ve done it recently.

The young?

I have noticed a trend of older people watching social media on their phones without headphones, I thought they were meant to know better!

People need to start speaking up. Who cares if they tell you to fuck off? They’re the ones being unsociable. Who cares if they call you a Karen ? If manners means I’m a Karen then I can live with that. In a shared public space we should aim to disturb no one if at all possible. I don’t have a problem speaking up for what I believe in. I love telling badly behaved children off in public too. In front of their parents if at all possible. It’s incredibly satisfying.

It’s rarely young people in my experience.

My in-laws do this, they are 68 and 70 - I have no idea why. I hate videos on social media, most of it is absolute dross, and I’m 41.

Yes they are being selfisg, scotrail are starting a use headphones campaign on social medis but ive not seen any posters actually in the trains themselves

Some guy thebother morning was the only one blasting a crap politics video and very loudly too, lots of us were looking at each other in a knowing way but it just seems no one is brave enough to say something!!

Hopefully they put up posters in the nticeboards on trains!!

We had an argument with someone all the way home on a train- about 20 mins- about this. Me, my husband and a member of staff all tried to have a rational “discussion “ (no one shouted, it was very civil, but a guy playing music on his phone really couldn’t see why this wasn’t acceptable and we didn’t want to hear it too.
I think his argument was that it was a public space so we couldn’t control what we heard. Idiot.

After my family member died I gave no fucks for a year and had the confidence and anger to confront people who did exactly this. 90% of the time they turned it off/put earphones in/moved away from everyone. I said it with mad eyes and no messing about “do you think everyone here wants to listen to that? People have had long days at work or might be going through stuff, and you’re disturbing them” I’m back to my chill self now and just put my own earphones in.
But I’ll tell you what, the amount of thanks and claps I got from everyone else was great 😂

I think about this a lot and my theory is that this is because we are now into the second generation of people who were raised by phones.

When I was a teen there wasn’t an easy, portable way to inflict your music and and visual content on people but there were stricter rules about devices.

I had a Walkman but my parents would have torn me a new one even for listening to it in the car, let alone on the train.

If you grew up thinking it’s completely normal to live in your phone and to be constantly surrounded by other people’s noise possibly you get desensitised to it and don’t realise how intrusive it is for most people. And then it doesn’t occur to your kids that there’s anything wrong or abnormal about it.

The thing that terrifies me about this is that if you ask people to stop doing it they look at you as if you have two heads. People genuinely can’t grasp that it’s antisocial.

I actually think its time to start a petition now calling for a ban on consuming music or video in public places without headphones.

What an unpleasant post. Some very good points here about how the tech and the way we use it has changed, plus the examples where people refuse to lower volume or wear headphones rs even when asked by staff. That's a change.

However, I would also say that I've noticed now that there is an increase in the intolerance for other people's mere existence. Such rage expressed on here for anyone who isn't lightening fast in a supermarket or parking or explaining their issue. A thread a whole ago about someone bypassing a post office queue to (in between customers) ask 'do you do x' so it was worth her joining the queue. It took seconds but many posters were outraged. There's no empathy, tolerance or sense of co- existing as agreeably as possible.

Yanbu at all. Last year after giving birth at 11pm to my daughter, I was finally transferred to the ward at 6am ish. I haven't slept much for the past 3 days, so I was trying to rest and people were scrolling on their phones without headphones...and as far as I could see they were mostly dads!!! And also talking were effing loud 🙄 arghhh, how can someone be so inconsiderate

This just isn’t true.

30 years ago there would be the odd person bringing a boombox on a bus or such. But it was a taboo: someone in a position of authority would shut them down.

Nowadays it doesn’t seem to register with people that playing your own audio out loud is rude.

I have had two recent experiences where a person close to us in a restaurant has been FaceTiming loudly. It’s really fucking rude.

In the passport queue the other day, a tall man was watching a film behind me, and holding his phone outward, over my head. I asked him to stop, but he either didn’t understand, or pretended not to.

I think staff in restaurants should intervene to make things less awkward for customers.

Sorry, but this is bollocks- the world absolutely has changed!

Your so right. A guy did a farmers hanky basically blowing all his snot onto the ground and an older woman scolded him at how disgusting as we were in a tight area and everyone was disgusted but Thanks to this woman he had the walk of shame past everyone as they all heard her and saw him and what he did. More people need to highlight that its not acceptable but we have all become cowards and that includes me at times. I am too weary to further chance ruining my day by standing up to a cyclist who is talking on his phone whilst cycling at speed on the pavement they don’t care or the delivery driver on a scooter on a pavement driving at speed motorised? It got worse after the pandemic and its dangerous.

I don't think it is true that 'nobody cares' and that attitude is really unhelpful and unhealthy. Holding that false view makes people more angry and fearful.

The majority are still considerate.

There are also no set age groups who are better or worse for bad behaviour on things like loudness, using phone in theatres etc.

There is a huge issue now with businesses removing staff and leaving the public to sort themselves out.

Amol Rajan is starting a YouTube which I signed up for and his newsletter was about lack of socialising in communities - i happened to talk to a lady last night who wanted to have a lunch get together once a month for local people in the village hall - it was just impossible you had to have health and safety certs for the kitchen and food prep, problems if the soup was too hot, problems with nut allergies. Cost of heating . We’ve regulated our lives into a corner so people who aren’t already friends can’t just get together
the other thing is cctv it protects the boorish and selfish because anything you do like take their phone off them is assault so they can do what they want - 2 tier justice system
To add -I travel on trains up and down the country several times a year and everyone is pleasant