Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider having a fourth child?

117 replies

Ohbaby4 · 11/09/2026 22:58

WIBU to have a fourth child?

Probably. There are endless practical reasons not to. It would be more expensive, more tiring, harder to keep up the juggle of work and family life and everything else. I’m too old. What if it’s twins? What about when they are teenagers? The environmental toll. AI. Etc.

BUT. We love parenting, We can afford it. Four might be the magic number?

OP posts:
Warmlight1 · 11/09/2026 23:01

Be your own point of reference. Do what works for you not the next family. X

3girlsmama · 11/09/2026 23:02

How old are your other 3?

Katemax82 · 11/09/2026 23:03

I had a fourth child so obviously am on the side of go for it if that's what you want

Original poster
Ohbaby4 · 11/09/2026 23:04

3girlsmama · 11/09/2026 23:02

How old are your other 3?

5, 3 and 1

OP posts:
Creamice · 11/09/2026 23:05

Loved being from a family of four. Would have had 4 if I could have afforded it and had got married younger.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 11/09/2026 23:05

Warmlight1 · 11/09/2026 23:01

Be your own point of reference. Do what works for you not the next family. X

Exactly. Are you really going to choose whether to have another baby based on what randoms on the Internet say OP?

Gqqkkq · 11/09/2026 23:06

I am one of 4.
And I would not do it.

Original poster
Ohbaby4 · 11/09/2026 23:08

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 11/09/2026 23:05

Exactly. Are you really going to choose whether to have another baby based on what randoms on the Internet say OP?

Edited
Show quote history

No, of course not.

But,m I do wonder whether it might be madness to have four. I thought I could rely on MN to really hash out all the potential rational downsides, including any I haven’t thought of.

OP posts:
Craftycariad · 11/09/2026 23:18

I had 6, 4 is definately easier than 3 for a host of reasons. How big your family is should be a decision made by just 2 people. My youngest 2 were 10 months apart ,irish twins as they say. So when the youngest was born I had an 8 , 6, 4, 3, 10 months and new born, loved every minute of it. Enjoy your family what ever you decide

Fifthtimelucky · 11/09/2026 23:21

Creamice · 11/09/2026 23:05

Loved being from a family of four. Would have had 4 if I could have afforded it and had got married younger.

Same here!

BigWig78 · 11/09/2026 23:22

Go for it. You can’t be that old with your kids so young. You’d need a bigger car though if you’ve got a 5 seater

Our fourth is Fab and we’ve never had a moments regret about having four kids.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2026 23:24

How old are you? Does DH want a 4th?

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 11/09/2026 23:24

Laundry +

EverMerge · 11/09/2026 23:27

Ohbaby4 · 11/09/2026 23:08

No, of course not.

But,m I do wonder whether it might be madness to have four. I thought I could rely on MN to really hash out all the potential rational downsides, including any I haven’t thought of.

Show quote history

The obvious issue is your next child might be the reason your family is never the same again.

After working in a school and seeing so many children with issues I’d have probably been too scared to have even one back in the day!

ShutteredUp · 11/09/2026 23:28

Why on earth t you want a fourth child? You say you love parenting, but with a 5, 3 and 1 year old, you have huge swathes of parenting to come with the children you already have.

Original poster
Ohbaby4 · 12/09/2026 08:44

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/09/2026 23:24

How old are you? Does DH want a 4th?

37, yes.

OP posts:
Loomis · 12/09/2026 08:50

I'm one of four and hated it so personally no I wouldn't, but that's me.

4timesthefun · 12/09/2026 08:51

I have 4, so obviously I’m not anti 4 kids. The only thing I’d advise is to be really realistic about whether you can comfortably afford 4 teenagers. Your children are all really young, so it doesn’t seem financially difficult to add another. They are typically much more expensive once they are involved (sometimes at serious levels) in sports, social commitments etc. They can also have allied health and different medical needs. I’m going to have to pay for at least 3 sets of braces, which is crazy expensive. Then there are driving lessons, and possible contributions to university costs. Even travel becomes ridiculous and they eat A LOT. My food bill has multiplied by many times what it was when they were little, even accounting for inflation. So when you say you can afford another, just make sure you mean you can comfortably afford 4 teenagers!

Grumpyoldcat · 12/09/2026 08:51

Why are you asking. If everyone voted no youd still have another. Pointless.

Bogstandardname · 12/09/2026 08:53

Too many people on this planet
Three children is more than enough for anyone.

CPHB2021 · 12/09/2026 08:53

I’m one of four, loved it. Currently TTC no.4. I have decided not to think anymore about the negatives ( of course, we heavily considered them when making a decision ) but ultimately decided that FOR US, four was the amount of children we wanted and have decided we can manage. We’re really excited about ( hopefully ✨ ) falling pregnant and then welcoming our fourth baby into our family. I’m very much team, go for it!

4timesthefun · 12/09/2026 08:54

ShutteredUp · 11/09/2026 23:28

Why on earth t you want a fourth child? You say you love parenting, but with a 5, 3 and 1 year old, you have huge swathes of parenting to come with the children you already have.

This is a very good point to consider too. What will another bring that your current three don’t bring you already. Just make sure this it’s not simply a way of avoiding closing that chapter and facing the emotions it brings.

OsfameronTanamoril · 12/09/2026 08:55

What if it's SEN?
Also, would you love parenting four expensive and surly teens/young adults?

Karmaiscool · 12/09/2026 08:55

@Ohbaby4 of course not unreasonable if you want a 4th and can afford it.
But every pregnancy is a lottery. As long as you're prepared for whatever the outcome might be (multiples, special needs etc) then the odds are with you. Otherwise there's the other argument of don't take the gamble.

JustoutsideSurbiton · 12/09/2026 08:56

I have 4. Ours are each 3 years apart which has been helpful for uni fees and avoiding A levels and GCSEs in the same year.

Our family just wasn't complete without 4. I don't regret a thing. In fact I am SO glad I didn't stop at 2, because 1 and 2 are completely different personalities and get on least well of all of them. Now 1 has left home and 2 is at uni I miss them (and am delighted for them).

Swipe left for the next trending thread