To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

If he has always had these outbursts I’m not sure why specialist provision hasn’t been raised sooner. My 6 yo DS has SEN and the other three boys in his year who also have SEN were all moved to specialist provision by this academic year because their needs are too severe for mainstream. Surely school should have realised they couldn’t handle him some time ago and made steps to arrange new provision earlier.

Staff, other pupils and indeed your DS need to be kept safe. This school isn’t for him.

Your son is basically being excluded but not really formally.
Is sounds like there needs to be a meeting with the school to find out what the hell is going on.
Is the echp being correctly followed?
If yes, why is his behaviour not being managed, if not, why not?
What are they doing to support your son to calm etc?
My nearly 9 year old son has also had some huge meltdowns in school over the years. We have ended up moving him to a different school because the original one couldn't meet his needs. He is incredibly bright but not supported with this and just getting bored and frustrated. Also dyslexic!
Push for the school to get this sorted but do consider an alternative school if it's really not working for him.

If it's only just started happening, does he have a new (and maybe unsympathetic) teacher-who just can't be bothered?

While it can take time to get a special/specialist placement, (non-wholly independent) SS don’t have waiting lists in the same way as oversubscribed mainstream school admissions for those without EHCPs can.

For non-wholly independent schools, there are limited reasons the LA can refuse to name parental preference. On its own being ‘full’, which is not defined in law, is not enough of a reason to refuse to name your preference. The LA has to prove the school is so full admitting DC is incompatible. The bar for this is higher than LAs and many schools admit. It has to be something tangible and specific and is more than an “adverse effect”, “impact on” or “prejudicial to”. Sadly, many LAs ignore this and force parents to appeal.

Those can't be the options though because OP's child is legally entitled to a full time education just like every child is.

No, you should have to hide your child away and keep him off school because there’s not enough staff to keep him safe! He’s got a disability he’s not being explosive on purpose. Your child has the right to a full time education, has he got a plan in place is he supposed to have a 1:1.

The problem is that parents whose children are hurt at school can also potentially sue the school for negligence and even report a child over 10 to the police (some even try before that age to log an incident). It’s really not always just about the child with SEND and the OP won’t know the ins and outs of other needs in the class, nor the level of complaints etc by the other parents. Of course some schools do try to off roll unlawfully but others simply really are trying their best and can’t cope and have followed due process/had meetings - but obviously can’t tell about the needs of other kids. That is why you should have a meeting, clear strategy/plan, safe place, early intervention, figure out if it’s post summer transition/anything else going on at home/bullying etc

Illegal exclusion.

Because LA's insist that children who need specialist schools go to mainstream and then usually have parents go all the way to appeal. It can take years for a child who needs specialist school to actually get a place in a specialist school.

Exactly. A boy in DD's class is throwing chairs this term, at least twice a day. DD doesn't feel like he is throwing them at anyone and that he isnt a mean child, just that he is getting very annoyed at noise in the classroom (keeps shouting 'shut up, shut up' and picks up the nearest heavy thing and throws it. But 2 children got hurt yesterday - cuts and bruises. As a governor I know he hasn't got an EHCP (they name the class the incidents happened in, not the child) so can't access the resource base within the school. It's hard for the other children, they are quickly learning they can't talk as this triggers him, and they are all asking to not sit near him in case they are the next victim of the flying chairs.

The class TA spends most of her time either trying to calm him down, or going after him when he runs out the classroom. He clearly isn't happy or regulated there, and it's tough fir the rest of the class. Inclusion at any cost, both to the child and their peers. But this is cheaper than specialist provision, which is often a last resort rather than a proactive plan.

OP doesn’t need to know “the ins and outs of other needs in the class, nor the level of complaints etc by the other parents.” That isn’t relevant to making lawful or unlawful decisions.

A school that is unlawfully, informally excluding has not followed due process. They aren’t trying their best either.

Repeated suspensions can also make it very difficult to secure one of the very few specialist places available in some geographical areas. It is always better to work with the school if you can. If the EHCP needs to be rewritten for specialist provision and a place found, this will take some time. I would suggest working with the school on a short term plan which might be a limited school day, a medium term plan which might cover reintegration with enhanced support and a long term plan. When consultations are sent to special schools, they have to consider their existing cohort. A long list of suspensions may well be evidence that mainstream isn’t working but in my experience it can also be used by specialist provisions to say that they can’t meet needs.

I fully understand that getting the correct provision is difficult, however that shouldn't mean that the OP shouldn't be looking into it if the school are unable to meet with the child's needs.

A specialist placement is likely to happen quicker if the school followed the correct process rather than trying to quietly informally exclude.

I'd definitely be asking for an EHCP review if I was OP and like I said in my first post earlier, making sure that they know I'm aware they are acting unlawfully.

OP does need to work with the school but that might not always mean doing exactly what they say. They need to also work with OP too, it has to go both ways and acting unlawfully isn't going to help a relationship between parent and school either.

I’ve worked with disabled children and adults for 11 years. This is not working for him, move him to a specialist school.

This. It's not palatable but the parent keeping the child home is the cheapest solution, not necessarily the only solution.

I don't think it's helpful to couch it that they can't be bothered to look after him. They are probably trying very hard. But if you push back you might give them the firepower they need to go to the LA and get additional funding while he is still with them. Illegal, informal exclusion against the parent's wishes can delay securing the right provision.

You need to be honest with yourself about whether it's in his interests to be there, but he is entitled to a full time education. If he needs to be taught out of the classroom for everyone else's safety while he's there, so be it.

He really doesn’t.

The worst thing a parent can do in this situation is agree to home school. This removes any responsibility the LA have for meeting the child’s legal entitlement to a full time education. ( they will be able to wash their hands of him and hand over responsibility for his education to the parent, save for one or two visits).

I say that as an ex primary headteacher and senior advisory staff.

The school aren't blameless as they are acting unlawfully. OP's priority is naturally going to be her own child.

Keep in mind that this is just the beginning with the proposed SEND reforms. More and more children who can't cope in mainstream will be expected to be in mainstream education.

Mainstream schools aren't suitable for some choidren and unfortunately for you OP it sounds like your DS falls into this category. It is not a case that the school cant be bothered but have to consider the needs and safety of other pupils not just your son. They are obviously struggling with him.

Teachers know very well they’ll have all sorts of children in their class including pupils with SN.

And that’s because the various governments have pushed fur those children to stay in mainstream school. Whixh was hailed as an amazing step forward at the time because it meant being more inclusive. This was seen as great both for the SN pupils and for the others - learning to live alongside each other, better understanding etc….

Its a bit rich to now grumble that those same chikdren are disruptive etc… and that ‘teachers haven’t got into teaching to deal with those children’