To say my DS cant keep missing school because the school “cant cope”??

If we are talking about special schools, it isn't that simple and it's possible OP's son could be waiting years for a place.

Don't remove him. The local authority needs to step up and find him appropriate provision.

Precisely.

Coming out of my long time lurker status to post this.

As others have said, this is technically an illegal exclusion.

OP, next time they call you, you need one of two things to happen:

1. the school suspend him for breaking whatever part of the behavior policy they see fit.
2. you don’t pick him up

Formally suspending him leaves a paper trail which obviously creates more work for the school, but means that you can hold them to account for properly implementing his EHCP (a legal document btw). Governors will also review after a number of suspensions to ask what more the school could do to support. Also means the school and you have more leverage to access support as there’s evidence of need. Just sending him home provides none of these.

Source: 40 years in education. School governor.

You need to accept that this school is not meeting his needs because they do not have the resources to do so.
It's not because they "don't want the bother"

I'm surprised how casual people are with anger issues such as this. Like "oh, they only kick off if overwhelmed or something changes or they think something is unfair". That stuff is happening to everyone multiple times each day in a school. Poor kid (and his classmates) are all being failed here. He needs a different school with the time and space and curriculum that can accommodate what he struggles with rather than try to shoehorn him into a normal, chaotic class of 30 odd. Stop letting school off the hook by picking him up.

Sending him home is an illegal exclusion. Suspensions & Permanent Exclusions.
(Photos of relevant bit added)

You and the school need to work together to identify and address barriers and write a part time, short term attendance plan, which you agree to.( Working together to improve school attendance P27-28 gov, guidance) This will be written to meet his needs in the short term building his attendance back to full time or finding another suitable educator which can meet his needs.

Every child is entitled to a full time education (p8. In government guidance). Do not agree to home school as this will release the LA from their responsibilities to provide a full time education.

There is loads of government guidance which will be helpful in you understanding your child’s rights. I have inked a couple, but there are others in the documents including Equalities documents.

They’re telling you they can’t meet his needs. They can’t have someone kicking off, throwing things and shouting when they need to be teaching the class, and all the other children shouldn’t have to be subjected to this, it would disrupt their learning and some may be very upset and also deregulated when things like this happen. School should be a safe place for all children.

I agree with your husband he needs more specialist help and I would start the ball rolling now.

You presume it is so easy to get into alternate provision. It really isn't. So unless you think children like OPs should be stuck at home then mainstream it is.

A child in danger of hurting himself and/or others, in an academic setting that does not have the resources to keep everyone safe...and you are seriously suggesting that the parents do not pick him up when requested???

The school have said this is temporary, it's not a " technical exclusion" they are not actually looking to exclude at all! They will be working on the situation.

The best that OP can do is support the school and her son by temporarily removing him. Would you rather see someone hurt?

No he can't. They're unlawfully excluding him and would likely find themselves in deep shit if you started a disability discrimination claim (which is free via the special educational needs and disability tribunal). You need to ask for an emergency review and make the LA aware asap. Also ping out alternative provision needs to put in place as he's entitled to suitable full time education

Is the provision not being provided detailed, specified and quantified in F, or is it vague and woolly? If the former, have you spoken to the LA. It is the LA who is ultimately responsible for ensuring the provision is provided. That duty is absolute and non-delegable. If chasing the LA hasn’t worked, have you looked at a pre-action letter. If the wording is vague and woolly, it cannot be enforced and needs improving. You can do that via the review process then appealing if necessary.

As per the guidance, a part-time timetable should not be used to manage behaviour.

What happens when he is bought home OP? Calming activities only I hope? No screens/sweet food. Early bed time?... have you actually talked to DS about what might be triggering this? Is there kids bullying him? A clash with his new teacher? If he's been generally ticking along until now then surely there's a fair chance that something quite significant has triggered this? Is this typical when he first starts with a new teacher?

Yes you should be working with the school to figure out how you go forward with this but your DS is at the age where, whatever his needs, DS needs to be encouraged to take some responsibility for his own destiny. It's not all the school's responsibility. I'd also implore you to work with the school at really doing what's right for your son not just what you think he's entitled to. Eg if it's just a case of settling in to a new class and new routine more gradually then perhaps going for a couple of hours a day and building up to full days would be preferable to sending him in for him just to reach boiling point? Perhaps he will be better in a different school but I think you'll only figure this out by unpicking things with your child and the school. I hope you can sort things

I’m sorry, but it sounds like this is not the right environment for your son for many reasons.

No one is saying your son is naughty or badly behaved because he struggles to regulate, but the problem is that it seems he does get violent when he is unregulated and that is both difficult for a mainstream school to manage and for the other children in the class.

I am sympathetic as I have one child with autism and I know the struggles with mainstream schools. But I also have another child who came home with a massive egg on his forehead because a child in his class became disregulated and in the minute it took the teacher to get the other kids out of the class to try and manage that child, the child started throwing hardback books at everyone…

Op. My child is autistic and no longer in mainstream school. I understand the painful reluctance to let go of mainstream but this is the reality.

Your son is becoming seriously dysrgulated in the school day to day and rhey do not have the staff to support him to calm him or engage him effectively

You need to call an emergency ehcp review. Ask either for full 1 2 1 support or transfer to specialist.

If i was you I would be looking urgently at every possible specialist within reasonable distance.

Mainstream school gets harder for Nd kids the older they get unfortunately

And no they should not be calling you but unless they have a safe number of adults what can they do. Just make sure it's all documented so you can use this as evidence rir next steps.

The school have said this is temporary, it's not a " technical exclusion" they are not actually looking to exclude at all! They will be working on the situation.

Sent home early is a suspension and breaks legislation and guidance. DfE documents, as posted above, with other correct guidance.

And you say that from a couple of posts?

Wow, I wish life was THAT easy…

what can they do

Follow the correct, lawful, routes rather than acting unlawfully.

It’s not the school you need to get annoyed at, it’s the organisation funding the school!

What the school is doing is illegal which is why pp is advising OP not to pick her child up. If they have to formally exclude him, this will mean a trail should specialist provision be required as evidence he can't cope in mainstream, that's how the system works.

@Jacobator apart from a new teacher, what has changed?

Because the first thing that came to mind is that the teacher is, furvwhatecer reason, making things harder for your dc. So not a case of him needing to to a special school. But him needing the approach other teachers had up to now.

If this is a case where his behaviour has become harder and harder to handle then it’s a different issue oyswim

OP I agree with you husband this main stream school isn’t meeting your child’s needs. It doesn’t seem fair on the teacher or other children if they don’t have the tools needed.

Specialist schools can have a massive waitlist so I would get that ball rolling. I would also look at other mainstream schools. I have a friend where the school was causing more distress and un regulation. Moving their child to another mainstream school has been amazing for their child.

OP regardless of illegal exclusion and other comments. I would focus on your child and their mental health / needs. Are these needs being met, are they likely to be met and if not how can you support your child. There’s no point fighting a school that long term isn’t a good fit

I agree with your DH. It sounds like your son needs to be in an environment which is better suited for him.