DH wants to abort, I don’t

sorry this was so awful - I had a 2nd trimester termination and it was horrific too. It feels like everything is being done to you rather than to benefit you.

You’ve done it now OP and got through it. Sending you lots of love xxx

Shame on your DH for putting you through that traumatic and humiliating experience because he was too fucking lazy to submit his vasectomy forms. I'm actually enraged. He's an utter cunt.

I hope you recover soon.

I'm so sorry for you. I hope that your DH now gets his vasectomy done asap and without any complaint having witnessed what you have had to endure. I wish you and your DC a happy future.

Gosh that's awful @ccd90 I hope you can have a reasonably calm weekend, because you must be absolutely exhausted and emotionally wrung out.

Oh my OP, that sounds so awful for you. Really shocking.

You need a lot of self care this weekend xx

Take very good care of yourself and be kind to yourself @ccd90 Wishing you a good recovery

That sounds horrendous and I’m sorry you had to experience that 💐

I am so sorry. That sounds really traumatic.

The most important thing now is looking after yourself. I hope that your H (I can’t bring myself to add the ‘D’ right now) is doing EVERYTHING in his power to look after you. I hope he has taken on the domestics and childcare for a few days, bought you flowers and nice food treats. If he hasn’t then I am sending them in spirit 💐☕🍫

You will be up and down emotionally I imagine and physically drained. You need lots of rest and TLC. Be kind to yourself.

You made the best decision you could given everything you talked about. Don’t second guess yourself for a moment.

If your D doesn’t get the snip then don’t let him anywhere near you from
now on. It’s his turn.

Oh bless you. A lot of the tears will be hormones. Not to mention the procedure being made a whole lot more awful than it should have been.

You did the right thing for you and your family at the time. Don’t forget that.

You’ll be ok. You have a DH to fuss over you and 2 kids to give you lots of cuddles.

And she’s talking to him. Ending a pregnancy when you feel you’re being made to will end a relationship with 100pc certainty

Oh my god @ccd90 that sounds absolutely horrific not to mention traumatic, you poor, poor thing x Thank god you're home & safe in a calm environment. Let the tears come, your hormones will be all over the place but also you're own regret, not for the choice but we all do it to ourselves, the "what ifs" but if it goes on longer than the few days please bring it up with your counsellor

Best wishes going forward but also check back in if you need some anonymous support 💐

Allow yourself to feel the mixture of emotions you will feel. Take each day as it comes, you won’t feel like this forever.

I’m so sorry you had to experience what you did at the clinic, but thank you for sharing your experience and being honest❤️

I’m glad he’s doing that. It’s minimum I’d expect.

You will be more emotional for a while. Let yourself cry when you need.

Sending you virtual hugs. It’s not an easy thing to go through. Be as kind to yourself as you can. 💐

I'm so sorry @ccd90 hope you are ok and sending you love xx

@ccd90Personally I could never forgive him for putting me through that and I have had a medically-mandatory abortion, so abortion itself is a familiar concept to me although mine was in the local hospital.
You'll likely deny it but based on what you’ve told us here, he has emotionally forced you into an abortion, certainly emotionally blackmailed you. The flowers and chocolates are very clearly guilt-ridden and my heart breaks for you.

I really don't think that it is helpful to the OP to tell her that her husband 'forced' her. She did not really want the child herself, it was just very unlucky that the coil failed. The husband will now get a vasectomy.
OP, I'm so sorry that you had such a painful experience, I hope that you are resting well.

Read the rest of the fucking thread.

The OP had the coil. How is this her husband’s fault?

FFS is it beyond some of you to think that maybe today of all days, its not the day to be giving the OP what you clearly believe is "tough love". She just needs love. Love, care, and support.

If you can't give that then just dont bloody post.

Well said 👏

It is, ultimately, your decision as to whether to have a termination or not. Nobody can force your hand one way or the other. You are entitled to your feelings.

But that doesn’t make your DH wrong to have a different opinion and to be vehemently against having another child right now. He can’t tell you it will be fine when he clearly feels that it is a terrible idea, given your current circumstances. Three children under 5, you having PND and financial pressures is a lot. He is being clear that he feels he can’t cope with it all. Maybe he feels you won’t cope or it will worsen your PND?

If you genuinely feel you are in an emotional, practical and financial position to have this baby, without detriment to your existing children, then you should go ahead. If not, I think it is a big risk to take.

I think that you need be prepared to be a single mum, given the situation- I think either way your relationship is going to struggle to survive as one of you is going to be put in a situation that you feel is untenable.

edited to say- sorry you had such a horrible experience and I hope you recover quickly.

If you're going to bother writing such a long reply at least read the OP's updates first 🙄

Coils are not 100% reliable, that's well known, and her DH procrastinated getting a vasectomy cause he couldn't be arsed handing the forms in and just left contraception to the woman to deal with. He was also the one who pressured for this procedure that this poor woman has had to endure. He's 100% at fault here.