AIBU to refuse Christmas visits because of the family dogs?

We have 4 dogs. I personally would not expect to take the dogs to relatives at Christmas.

I would go nowhere there are 10 untrained dogs!!!

Do whatever you want to do! It's your Christmas as well, you don't even need a reason other than "this is what we want to do". They can do whatever they want as well, so if they want to share dinner with 10 badly behaved dogs, they can go for it.
Lots of people choose to see no family at all on christmas day, purely because they want a peaceful and quiet day with no demands. She is mad insisting anyone else does whatever she wants without asking their plans or opinions first.
Say no, keep saying no. I wouldn't personally bring reasons or dogs into it, I'd simply say "we fancy a quiet day just the two of us, happy to host Xmas eve as discussed but it'll be dog free, that's our only offering and it's not negotiable - take it or leave it. We love you all but we are adults and this is our plan for Christmas based on what we want to do. Peace and joy to all and enjoy your day"

YANBU I have a dog she is a Jack Russell she is a barky loud mouth little bastard to all strangers and other dogs feed her endless treats and she will love you forever, I absolutely love her but I wouldn’t inflict her on other people. Would I shite want to spend my Christmas Day surrounded by 10 pain in the ass dogs that’s the equivalent of being surrounded by 10 screaming kids they may love their dogs but other people don’t. Dogs can be left at home they will survive a few hours on their own it won’t cause them any sort of trauma they will still love you when you get home.

You don’t go to ANY dog free events? Why do you want to limit your life so much for an animal? I will never understand it, it’s a pet!

And it’s rude to prioritise animals over your people relationships - that’s why people are having “tantrums”, because they probably think you’re being precious

I go to those that are compatible with my responsiblities to my animals as I said in my post. So local, brief events where I won't need to leave my dog for extended periods (and I have adult children who can, on occasion, dog sit.)

And no, it is not selfish to prioritise my existing responsibilities towards my pets over the social wants of other humans. Frankly, anyone expecting me to centre their social wants above all else and throwing a tantrum when I don't is a self centred, entitled twat.

Yes all dog houses smell of dogs although owners cannot smell it.

Sounds like hell, I would not go. YANBU

Right so you really won’t go to any event that doesn’t include your dog or involves you leaving it more than a very small amount of time. You’re the problem with dog ownership these days. It’s not necessary at all and people like you have been brainwashed into thinking that dogs need far more tending to than is actually necessary, and it’s impacting on other people

A dog is a pet, it does not get the same “responsibility” status as children or being a carer. It’s just a hobby you chose. Stop trying to make it more important than it is.

You don’t get to decide how someone feels. Why so put out someone treats their dogs well?

Oh this again!

OP can decline any invitation she likes, (and I suspect even most dog lovers would find 10 dogs too chaotic unless it's a huge space).

OP ILs can also decline any invitation they like, and obviously have responsibilities to their pets they need to meet regardless of whether it is Christmas or not.

When OPs preferences and her ILs responsibilities aren't compatible, then they don't get to spend Christmas together.

Everyone needs to respect each others right to decline invitations, and no one gets to throw a tantrum over it. Polite decline/or polite acceptance of decline are the only reasonable responses on both sides.

A dog is a living thing. It’s dependent on its owner for everything and involves responsibility. Being a responsible dog owner isn’t a “problem”. We leave ours for four hours maximum and if anything involves leaving them longer we don’t go. It has zero impact on anyone else.

Wow, we've found the entitled one who always expects their preferences to be centred above all else!

Of course we have responsibilies to our pets! I'm simply a responsible pet owner, that's all.

I honestly believe some MNers would applaud animal neglect. Leave it at home for hours, it’s just a pet. It can’t howl if it’s scared though cos that’s not fair on neighbours and if it toilets inside I’ll gleefully tell you your house stinks.

Because it is allowed to impact on other people as evidenced in this thread. It causes unnecessary drama when the dog owner could simply leave their dog at home

I have an allergy and a baby. My health and my child are more important than anyone’s dog. Anyone who can’t see that is being deliberately obtuse.

Basically yes.

YANBU. I have a family member I will probably never see again because they refuse to leave their dog alone.

That’s why people don’t give a shit about your health.

We just don’t agree it is neglect. It used to be called normal behaviour until about 6 years ago. Now people have lost their fucking minds.

Firstly, no they can't "just leave it at home" as that would be cruel, and secondly it doesn't impact on anyone else when dog owners just politely decline dog free events, and dog dislikers just politely decline dog friendly ones.

It's not OK for some entitled people to dictate what others do. In my world, I don't see this from dog owners, who simply accept they have to turn down invitations if they would involve leaving the dog too long. It tends to be the dog dislikers, as clearly evidenced by some of the comments on this thread, who expect to have their preferences centred at all times, and throw a tantrum when that doesn't happen.

We’ve had dogs for a lot longer than six years and have never left them alone for more than four hours. I haven’t lost my mind, I love my dogs. That’s why we spend £££ on kennels if we can’t look after them properly.

That’s good! You get so many other people commenting that they couldn’t possibly leave the dog in kennels because that would apparently also be “cruel” 🙄

That's fine. Turn down invitations to dog friendly events then, just like dog owners turn down invitations to dog free ones if it would involve leaving their dogs too long.

You / your child are not the only people in the world that matter. You get to centre yourself/your child, but you need to stop demanding that everyone else does.

It would be for many dogs.

It isn’t cruel though! They’re fine! You’re probably one of those people who have created “separation anxiety” because of your ridiculous pandering to your dog as though it was a child.

What can’t you understand about the fact that it is hurtful, in this case to the OP and her family, to prioritise an animal that’s going to live maximum 12 years over a lifelong family relationship?

Nope, it was always neglect and has been strongly advised against for decades. May I ask what your professional animal care qualifications are which allow you to so confidently challenge the advice of vets, animal behaviourists, dog trainers and experienced responsible pet owners across the country?