AIBU to worry my son is too young to marry?

It’s a perfectly normal age to marry.

Yes he’s an adult and legally it’s his decision.

I thought you were going to say he’s 15 or something!! 🙄 of course 23 & 24 isn’t too young to get married!!

He’s an adult, he needs to make his own choices. 24 is not that young to get married.

He'll be nearly 25 next Summer.

Perfectly normal.

You can worry but what difference would it make?
What has the deed of variation got to do with the situation? I presume his girlfriend hadn’t been playing the long game since the age of 14 to get her hands on your money.

It’s youngish, but quite a normal age… especially as they have been together for 9 years! She’s been playing the long game if she’s only in it for his money.

Best of luck to them! They’ve been together for a long time and how lovely that they can start married life together without the burden of a mortgage.

It’s probably younger than average in today’s age, but still a good age. They’ve been together a long time, why wait? I was married at 26 and my sisters were younger than me (24 &25). All of us still happily married between 10-19 years.

Well historically getting married at 24 isn't that young. My DM was 21 when she married my DF and in her generation that was normal. But for professionals now, yeah 24 is quite young. They've been together for 9 years though, which is ages and much longer than many people are together who marry later in life.

As to the financial issues - well he's an adult and these are his issues and decisions to make. I can understand you being worried, because I would be worried too, if my DS chose to marry at what is, to many of us, really very young. But to put it in perspective, something like 50% of marriages fail and I'm not sure that age at marriage has much bearing on that. I'm sure someone will be along in a minute to correct me if it does

Waiting until they're 30 won't change anything.

Yanbu but tell him once and then stay out of it x

Not too young to marry. But I think you are right to be apprehensive about the deed of variation. If they separate in the future, those assets are likely to be matrimonial. There is nothing to do about it now- and you absolutely can't say anything without risking your relationship with them both.

I think it's sweet. But we were younger than your ds. Have been happily married for 40 years.

Sounds like they have sensibly lived together and been a couple for a long time. I don't understand at all why you would be worried or think he is too young?

I was married with two children at his age! Still together 20 years later, and very happy. It's a fine age to marry, and it's not like they've only known each other for two minutes.

Why would you rather he went through half a dozen different girlfriends, before settling down in his mid thirties with a woman he's probably only known for a few years, instead of marrying the woman he's been with for almost a decade? (Or, alternately, how much longer do you think he needs to be with her before he should be sure he wants to marry her? Is nearly a decade not enough?)

They have been together almost 10 years and are mid 20s, they are more than capable of making this decision. You're worrying she's a gold digger aren't you? (It would take some foresight to start dating someone at 14 thinking you would financially benefit from them...)

I was married at 26 - been engaged since 24 it was careers, moves and money making us wait till then we'd been together since I was 18- still married over 20 plus years later.

We were slightly later with marriage than where DH and I grew up and bit early age wise but not that early on uni peers. Older than IL who were teens and my Mum mid 20s.

He's an adult they've been together a long time - not really sure what the problem is really.

It's reasonably young by today's standards, but they've been together for a decade so what's the problem?

He's got a good job and secure housing and probably feels ready. Most 24 year olds don't have that, which is part of the reason why people get married later these days.

What's your actual issue? Do you not like his GF?

If you can get secure housing and have a steady job, are sure about each other, then it's the perfect age. This is going to get pounced on, but if you want children it's much better to have them closer to 30, than 40.

I’d be worried too. Would he be open to the idea of a prenup? I know they aren’t legally binding but they have some sway. You could tell him to blame it on you insisting, especially since you presumably signed the deed of variation in his favour. Tbh I’d probably have actually already had that conversation before I signed it over.

It's younger than average these days but certainly not too young. My sister and I both married at similar ages to that and our marriages are happily going strong over a decade later. He's certainly old enough to know his own mind and they've been together a very long time. I really wouldn't worry, they're not rushing things and he's a sensible sounding grown up.

It isn’t a young age to marry And they’ve been together for pretty much ten years.

I don’t see your objection.

I think they’ve been together a long time, they have a house. Getting married is a good next step. They may want children then. Why not get on with it, no need to wait.

I can't believe people are actually suggesting this.

What a horrible way to treat this girl, who has been with him for a decade.

Is it better if he splits up with her and then marries some other woman in his 30s? What's the difference? Or is he just never allowed to get married because he owns a property?