Whole families on UC, PIP, DLA and carers' allowance for each other?

That's really unfair and judgemental. Getting an EHCP for my DC was simple but I'm under no illusion that me being a professional was a factor in that. No one was judging me on my vocabulary, my childs name or how I present myself. I could articulate his needs well, I could challenge other professionals respectfully. I set the scene of being a what is expected to be a 'good' parent. I was married, working, my child was in nursery from 9 months, we were well dressed and I paid for private SALT. Things that adults with their own learning difficulties can't always manage.

If we’re talking ADHD and autism, getting a diagnosis on the NHS is near enough impossible due to insanely long or even closed waiting lists.

In general, a private diagnosis is not likely to be less valid. Most private doctors are also NHS consultants.

Also, in my experience, the DWP will not award PIP solely based on medical letters. I had to apply 3 times. My application worked when I also supplied letters of support from managers at my employers and other non-medical professionals who knew me.

No, because it enables the situation to continue. There is no motivation to change it and every incentive to remain helpless and incapable as you get more money that way. It's how the system works.

This is not a bashing. Whatever the reason apathy and disengagement in some adults in this country is a fact . The OP is describing a phenonam they have observed and lived as an educater and a parent. At least she is trying to support and look for answers, are you?

At the end of the day, it will have to change. The current system isn't sustainable. The only question is when.

Ime SEN school tends to mean fairly educated middle class parents because of the lengthy administrative fight required to get there, which can be facilitated by comfort with paperwork and legislation, willingness to challenge professionals, money to speed up the gathering of reports and potential tribunal costs, and the infamous "sharp elbows".

PRU and sitting-in-the-corridor-in-mainstream is slightly more the demographic you describe, as these are the default LA option for a child who is struggling in the classroom and therefore what you end up with if you don't have a very determined parent taking the SEN system on as a part-time office job around doing the actual care.

Not benefit bashing I think.

Just fully ableist shit from someone who thinks that if you’re chronically ill, disabled, you shouldn’t have children.
One that hasn’t noticed the fact that those children probably ended up as child carer due to the lack of support.

Yay, let blame parents who dare being ill and have a child (never mind if they got ill after the children weee born )

Its 1.9%. And don't forget, that's families who've not worked yet. So will include people who will go on to work when their children are older.
To gauge how significant an issue this is, you'd need a long term study that demonstrated life long worklessness and all family member worklessness throughout entire childhood. A three year old with no working adults in their family could well become the 13 year old of working parents.

Whole family will be on UC because it is a joint claim.

I work in a leadership position in education and work in one of the most deprived areas of the country.

The outdated and often condescending “parenting classes” or courses councils and some schools run for families are usually tone deaf and rude. The parents on OPs “course” will have been bored because it was boring. We run support sessions for families where they share ideas with each other and we ensure empathy, understand and humility. We have a waiting list. Don’t talk at people, work with them.

Without doubt there are individuals and families who game the benefits system. My best friend has debilitating MS but has been refused PIP twice as she’s fiercely independent. I know at least 10 families who happily tell anyone who will listen they fake or exaggerate mental health conditions to get PIP, UC, cars and DLA. I know one single, child free girl who gets £1800 a month by claiming she’s too anxious to go outside. She’s currently in Greece partying and using her second Facebook account to avoid being caught by DWP.

both things can be true - people game benefits but OP clearly doesn’t understand the struggles of those that don’t.

MN why are there several threads of blant discrimination against ND/disabled kids and people? Why are you allowing it?

If you would rather the government pays out tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in services rather than pay a pittance in comparison in carers' allowance, you've got something else going on than economic sensibility. Carers save the taxpayer millions. If they have to give up work to help care instead of leaving it to the state for net loss to the state, it's a bargain at the price.

Peoole have to meet very specific criteris to qualify for PIP
Just because a person has a chronic condtim it doesnt make them automatially eligible.

Me neither. The SEN coffee morning I try to attend (because I'm full time employed) is full of professionals or working women. Attendance is variable because, guess what, like me, many can only occasionally attend due to work!

Me and dh are on UC as carers and have 3 dc all getting highest rates DLA/PIP. There’s no other way for us to survive and meet their needs.

Family cohorts differ dependent on the “type” of special educational school IME.

MLD schools for moderate learning disability tend to have a higher percentage of poorly educated parents (either through life circumstance or genetic LD) and therefore higher need with regards the support to access community and services.

SLD/PMLD schools for the most severe need tend to have the highest degree of parental variation as many students who attend have severe brain damage from birth injury or random genetic variations and that isnt a genetic factor.

Independent specialist schools tend to have a higher degree of professional and highly educated parents who could afford to get independent reports and better resources to fight the system. Plus a lot of the children are LAC who are placed in more professional families in the first place or living in social care run homes or privately run social care homes.

The problem -IMO - isn’t the system or the benefits. It’s the back of recognition about why the inequities happen and societal change to support that changing.

It also doesnt meanbno one is working.

OP you are not allowed to say this on Mumsnet.

There are an awful lot of people on here with children with additional needs who live in fear of their benefits being cut off and come out fighting, even when you are not talking them, but about people who abuse the system or do not look beyond it.

But you are, of course, right. There are thousands and thousands of people for whom claiming benefits is all they know, and all they aspire to. Who have or perhaps when they were younger the potential to do more, but along with their families are in the benefits rut with no real desire to get out or because they have behavioural issues.

We all know people like this. My husband’s uncle and cousins have variously faked whiplash injuries and claimed anxiety/agoraphobia whilst simultaneously doing the odd bit of work (window cleaning) cash in hand. It is rife in their community.

You know more than most about this but you will be shot down regardless because of the levels of defensiveness on here.

It is nonetheless an important issue which needs to be tackled - we simply cannot afford as a country to have a smaller and smaller pool of net contributors funding this lifestyle. Those who shoot these concerns down never have a constructive or sensible solution to the problem - they just want the money to carry on flowing. But where will it come from?

And what you and DH will be saving the system by doing g the care yourself ffaaaarrrrrr outweighs what it would cost for them to provide the care.

and you’re doing it alone, unsupported I’m sure.

Report them if you don't believe their claims are genuine

I don't live in fear of losing benefits I don't get. I fund all my caring myself. I know how fortunate I am, and count myself privileged, to have an income that excludes me from these things without needing benefits like families with lower incomes may need. Caring is very valuable work to society and saves the taxpayer a pile.

This feels like benefits bashing to me too.

I have autoimmune conditions, I'm on 3 different monthly injections that make me feel awful, I take 4x the daily recommended antihistamines off label by immunology that are incredibly sedating. I spend alot of time in the bath for chronic hives and struggling to walk up the stairs - usually crawl to the bathroom to wash.

My last pregnancy triggered all of the illness before anyone says "why did you have more kids" he was a non-consensual pregnancy where I fled domestic violence to safeguard him. And I don't believe in abortions for myself personally. And unfortunately due to how sick I was during the pregnancy, he was born premature, spent time in NICU and now can't eat solid food, has a multitude of non Ige mediated food allergies.

But I've written a book, I continue my studies, I'm working through my qualification ladder in the hopes to open my own alternative education provision for SEND children one day.

I do claim PIP, DLA for him and get the disabled child element on UC.

But I suppose I'm just lazy though and should do better.

You know that’s bollocks right?

As a single parent to a disabled child I’d have given my right arm for wrap around care that could meet need so I could build a career and have higher future job prospects.

As it is whilst raising that child I’ve done a degree and worked my way up in my current role to a point I can’t earn more than £35k a year as in my career line those jobs don’t exist.

Im a highly educated intelligent woman and could have found employment and training to be a higher rate tax payer.

Unfortunately the system doesn’t allow that.

But they’ll pay me £200 a month carers (and take most of it away due to my earnings) as compensation.

ease don’t blame parents for the system and make assumptions.

Life throws enough barriers out way as it is.

But it would be rare for both parents to not be working. I appreciate there are SAHMs, but the father would be in work.

You've been through a lot. I know, like almost everyone on disability payments, you would love to be able to get rid of all you have to deal with and be able to live a full and normal life. <3