AIBU to keep my sister’s former dog after she moved back?

Have you read the OP’s updates @Lacksie, particularly the latest one?

Well then you clearly are not a dog person. They are not toys. Dog is settled and didn’t want to know the sister on the 3 times she has visited.

FFS why do people comment when they haven't bothered to read all the OP'S posts first???🙄

Some people would probably like it deleted because even after OP made it very clear that she knew her sister wasn’t coping and it wasn’t in the best interests of the dog to be returned, they continued to insist the dog be returned. They now realise they were wrong and that they have made tits of themselves and would have put the dog at risk of further disruption, which 2/3 of us could see.

I read OP's updates, including this morning . It doesn't change my view. I'm putting it in the context of all her posts on this thread, where she has not once demonstrated any empathy for her sister (or niece/ nephew) or capacity to see the other side- only judgement and superiority.

For example, this post from yesterday:

"He is our dog.
It isn’t my fault that the decisions my sister makes don’t prioritise her children and dog. We make decisions that’s are best for our children and dogs, always have and always will."

I don't think we have a reliable narrator.

I am a dog person- my dog means the absolute world to me and I certainly do not think she's a toy.

Even the last post from this morning? OP’s poor sister is struggling very badly with her MH, to the point where it wasn’t deemed appropriate to leave her alone? This is and should be the priority.

I’m not sure what your comment has to do with OP outing her sisters MH struggles to the internet? Or was it a dig at me? If so I stand by my first post on this thread which was based off the information provided on the OP and not the subsequent long, outing and really inappropriate follow up.

Agree with this.

And if OP actually cared about her sister she absolutely would not be outing the state of her MH on the internet where it’s likely incredibly obvious to anyone who knows the family. People can spin OP as caring if they like, but caring relatives don’t air their siblings MH laundry to MN.

AIBU is absolutely packed with very personal family issues/dilemma which would be very obvious if a family member read it. I'm not sure why this one is suddenly inappropriate.

Cos some have made themselves look stupid so they want it gone. It was obvious early on that OPs sister wasn’t coping and that the dog was better off with the OP, but some people kept on insisting the dog should be returned.

Lacksie

If you truly loved a dog you would not move it - again - from a loving home where it is settled and has human company all day PLUS a dog chum to a home where it would be left alone all day apart from a 1/2 hour dog walk.

That's not putting the dogs welfare and needs above your own.

Caring people don’t out their sisters breakdown on the internet. Paint OP like a saint if you want. She might have done right by the dog, at a very basic level, but she has certainly never put her sister first from the say she forced her sister to hand over the dog ferment (even though her sister didn’t want to) to today where she needlessly told us all about her sisters breakdown.

The only reason OP has done so is to make more people support her initial decision. No one who loved their sister would have done what OP has this morning. It’s one thing to share struggles, it’s quite another to be quite so outing about a life that is not your own.

But by all means, carry on insulting people…

I disagree. I don't believe this is about the dog's needs. I think it's about the OP and her sense of superiority and judgement about her sister. I think this is clear from the OP and the totally context of all the subsequent posts. I don't agree it would harm the dog to return it to its family where it was raised and lived the majority of its life. The dog has only been with them 7 months. OP has not suggested the dog was mistreated and I think it's a-ok to have a dog even as a single parent and if you work 3 days a week. There are plenty of ways to make it work and raise a happy dog.

Caring people don't ask their sister to temporarily care for their dog for THREE YEARS without offering to pay a penny and then expect the dog back at the end of it. OP was right to put her foot down and say it would have to be permanent because it wasn't fair to anyone otherwise (OP, her kids who have already lost a dog and the dog).

OP didn't force her though, other arrangements were available.

Other arrangements which OP has weaponised against her sister to paint her as an irresponsible dog owner! Her sister can't win. I agree that after 3 years it would be a lot to return the dog, but it's only been 7 months!

I would suggest a 50/50 custody arrangement for the dog, that way you always have a trusted dog dog sitter going on holidays, both families can enjoy the dog, it works with children, surely it can work with a dog. Double the love.

I agree with this. Some posters have gone really OTT when insisting the dog was returned. Even when OP said her sister was really struggling to cope, they dug their heels in and still insisted the dog should go back when it was obvious that wasn’t appropriate. Some people completely lost it on the thread calling OP names and making up scenarios. It’s strange behaviour and I’m not sure what to make of it. Now some people are still trying to twist OPs update. They should look at their own bad behaviour rather than OPs, who clearly cares for her sister.

It does make her sister an irresponsible dog owner to ask someone to look after your dog for 3 years and expect the dog back at the end of it.

Ops sister needs mental health intervention. Dog stays with you now he is settled. Cruel to the dog to uproot him again.

Dogs pick up on low mood, depression and chaos. Leave him where he is settled

I’m glad your sister and children are with you OP and I hope they are ok. I also hope that having the majority of people on the vote saying that the dog should stay with you has helped amongst some of the nasty and batshit replies you have received.

Obviously the dog stays with you an dthat should never have been in question under the circumstances. You can now concentrate on helping your sister going forward. It sounds like a messy situation, but whether she goes abroad again or stays here, I am sure she will value your support.

Why don't you read all OP's posts?

What arrangements do you claim OP has weaponised?

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all and I think you're putting the dog first which your sister isn't.

Your sister sounds like she's in an awful place right now and maybe thinks that having the dog back will make her feel better.

If I were you I'd stick to my guns and not give the dog back and do exactly what you're doing now with your sister and being there for her. I actually think she's very lucky to have a sister like you.