AIBU to let my grandson stay on the swing

I think that children do need to learn to take turns - but that doesn’t mean getting off as soon as someone else says they want a go. Kids should learn how to enjoy their turn, not just give it to whichever loud mouth is demanding they get off. Children who are waiting need to learn that they don’t get what they want almost instantly because they’re ’waiting for it’ either.

You could have said to her, ‘my gs has only just got on.’ He had to wait for his turn too. We’ll only be a few minutes.

You don’t think your kids are entitled to a toilet cubicle each just because they have siblings? They have to wait longer just because they have siblings? Of course different if they’re young enough to still need help and that’s why you’re all in one cubicle but the post you were replying to said ‘assuming they’re old enough to sort themselves out’.

So similarly on a swing I’d expect all children to get a similar length of time, even if they have siblings.

Mine like to go in together. What can I say? Yes they are old enough to manage by themselves but usually if one goes for a wee then other does too - 100% their own choice. They may go on the same cubicle, they may not but in a busy environment yes they'd go in together or even come in with me.

With regards to the swings, if it's busy and they all want a go then they have a quick go. Children with siblings tend to be better at compromise / sharing / adapting. For mine it wouldn't be an issue if they got 2 minutes each whereas the kids next to them had a full 5 minutes on the swing, it wouldn't even register to be honest.

Well, that was rather selfish of you, wasn't it?! YWVU.

Too long if it’s busy

It feels like we've had a lot of this over the summer 😅! So much time spent in playgrounds. Oh well, it's part of learning social skills and how to share spaces with others.

Rules of the playground imo... you have to wait your turn, you have to take turns. So no, you can't expect someone to jump off just because you've decided you want to go on something, they're entitled to a decent go. But no, you can't stay on playground equipment forever if others want to use it... it's a shared, public resource and we all have to... well... share it. And 5 minutes is too long for a go if there's a queue. If the playground is busy, it's perfectly reasonable for a child to stand and wait for their turn, rather than run away and play on something else... otherwise they might miss their go if someone else butts in!

I've had all sorts this summer. I've had parents ordering my older child off a roundabout because their little children want to use it and he was going too fast for them (🙄), I've had to order my kids off equipment that they've been hogging and stop them butting in on other kids' turns, I've had to stop my bigger one from going on a dragon swing that some smaller children were having a go on and I've had a parent having a go at me because a younger child was playing with mine and followed him up a big climbing frame when the parent wasn't looking and the child got scared and couldn't come down.

Just be reasonable. You're sharing the space. Do your bit to create a nice, safe, enjoyable experience for everyone. I've always treated going to the playground like having a big, extended playdate for lots of random kids. Ideally, all the kids should enjoy themselves, not just mine.

There’s a fine line between teaching him that he’s important and teaching him that he always comes first and is the main character everywhere he goes.

A few minutes when the park is busy is plenty, it’s good to teach him that he gets a go and also that we let others who are waiting have a turn.

Has anyone actually said they should jump straight off when someone else arrives?

I agree. My daughter is 6 and has a half brother who is 29 years old and he is a brat because his parents brought him and his sister up to believe the world revolves around them and their feelings are the only ones that matter . He tries to arrange family events that deliberately exclude my dd to make a point because he’s angry that his dad had another child. I only know this because her dad tells me!

Anyway, I made my feelings known to him and told him his behaviour is horrible and he threatened to send me a cease and desist letter 😂😂

Honestly, I cannot imagine how difficult his life must be as an adult with such a delusional grip on reality. And it’s all because of poor parenting. A cautionary tale if you ask me….

And as far as the swings go, you balance your own needs with those of other people. It’s a life lesson as previously stated.

When selfishness starts to negatively impact others and is at their expense, it’s at that point that it becomes unacceptable.

Try not to take things so literally.

The other child on the other swing were on there just as long if not longer than the gs so why aren’t they ah too?

They had only just got on the swing when the entitled loud mother with 2 kids turned up!

Whilst I appreciate parenting that thinks outside the box, some things have to be taught to small children because they don’t come naturally.

If the child doesn’t want to consider the wider community at any point, do you just keep on allowing them to call the shots? Genuine question.

Let's hope that the poor child's parents are able to counteract your influence on him so that he learns not to be a selfish, self-centred person who prioritises his own wishes without regard for anyone else. Because that is what your approach is teaching him.

I reckon we have all come across adults who were taught as children to centre their own wishes and to hell with what anyone else might want. They are not likeable individuals.

That’s too long when other children are waiting.

One way of thinking about it is that in my experience, most children seem be at the park for say half an hour tops. If 7 minutes was a reasonable time for the swing, that would mean a maximum of 8 children using the 2 swings during that period. Not many. If it's 3 minutes each, then 20 children can have a go, or 10 children twice if they aren't hugely in demand.

If also gives a chance for those who are only popping in for 10 minutes briefly.

I think you may have misunderstood. The Montessori philosophy very much values taking turns. All children are taught the value of asking if they can join in, waiting for a turn, etc. But children are not by any means encouraged to monopolise objects or equipment.

If no one is waiting, he can stay on as long as it suits you both.
When other kids are waiting, 4 or 5 minutes absolute tops. That's an awfully long time for a child to wait.
I think you were being unreasonable.

Spits out tea pmsl

i so rem that thread !