AIBU to let my grandson stay on the swing

In that case, if it's busy and people want the swings and you've had them 3-4 mins: "ok, ten more pushes and then it's time to get off so other people can have their turn. The park is for everyone".

Not eating all the toast/cereal/milk if I know someone else in the house also needs breakfast

Driving every day, giving way to pedestrians/other cars

Public transport - letting people get off before you get on, sharing your seat,

Not barging in front of other people in queues for tickets, coffee, the post office, etc.

I haven’t even gotten to the office yet & I’ve already used my sharing skills multiple times.

All the examples you’ve given are irrelevant.

I don’t give money to charity because I don’t want other people to piss my money up the wall. I donate items to baby banks instead. That is not ‘sharing’ though is it.

Adults may share in the context of equipment at work for example when there isn’t enough of something. Or may share a table at a cafe where there is no other space left.

This mentality wrecks all the nice things because it creates such a bad feeling that then unnecessary policies are brought in because ordinary people don’t want to suffer your selfishness

My son refuses to go on anything at the park until he’s been on the swing. It’s infuriating to me, but it’s also not worth the argument trying to get him to play elsewhere, so we would be the people waiting by the swings.
We don’t expect people to get off for us though. So you will also hear me repeatedly reminding him he has to wait his turn. And that’s very much what I mean, not a backwards way of trying to get the other people to get off. Maybe that’s what happened in your case.

Sorry OP I think you were taking the piss a bit here! I agree he shouldn’t have got off immediately but 7 minutes is too long when there are other children waiting.

Yes he should be taught that he is entitled to his time, and yes other children do need to learn to wait as some of them expect you to get off as soon you’ve sat down, but in this instance, you were allowing your grandson to hog the swings!

You sound like the woman who took her kid to the swimming pool and decided to take all the communal toys and hog them for over 45 minutes and then got upset when another parent took some. Is she your daughter by any chance?

😂😂 I just made reference to that thread as well! Definitely cut from the same cloth these two!!

So the woman had x2 kids and x1 swing but wanted the OP's grandson to get off his swing so she could have x2 swings?

Yeah fuck that, I'd have let my grandson stay on out of principal.

If the park was busy / no swings were available I'd have hurried my grandson along so the two kids could share one swing but no way would I give up the swing when she already had one, she was a CF to expect you to do so.

Absolutely depends how long he was on the swing. But I get a feeling that you wouldn't care if he'd been on it for half an hour. Like that op on here who let her son choose 10 toys from a swimming pool and then told her son not to share when other kids arrived.

*just seen the update "5-7 minutes". That's a long time for a swing.

Yes! I just referred to this. First thing it reminded me of!

This is funny. You don't have to teach toddlers self worth: that's their whole default outlook! The bit that needs teaching is the turn taking and consideration of others.

The other mum did nothing wrong. Instead of stewing you could have said aloud to your GS that you'd have two minutes or whatever. That's a pretty long time for a toddler. Most of your angst is coming from you being too passive in the moment and stewing afterwards.

When the mum came along, I would have smiled to acknowledge her, and say “he’s just got on, so he’ll be a few minutes”. Then the mum would know he’s not hopping off immediately, and her second kid can wait, do something else or take a turn with her first kid.

I’ve twins, so frequently have my kids sharing one swing, while another child is on the second one.

That makes no sense and is a bit goady, no? It's the children using the swings, not the parent. By that logic only children should get double or triple what siblings do in every situation.

And it's 'out of principle'.

I think you're getting a hard time on here, OP. You were on the swing first, when a queue formed you let your grandson stay on a few minutes longer and then took him off to let other kids have a turn. I don't see a problem with that. People are arguing over a couple of minutes here. Seems daft.

Yes, of course your grandson needs to learn to share and take turns. But so do the other children in the park. Waiting a few minutes won't hurt them and they all got to have their turn so what's the issue?

Thats a lifetime for the other small child who is waiting. Put your child on, have a couple of minutes, get off and do other things.

YAB very unreasonable. This is what you are teaching these children.

Why does it make no sense?

I have x3 kids and would never expect all 3 of them to have a swing at the same time let alone ask someone to vacate a swing so we could have more than one swing and they'd have no swings? We'd share what is available.

It makes no sense to me that the majority here seem to think this woman was entitled to both swings?

And thank you for the spelling correction 👍

Genuine apologies- I thought you were being goady but you're being overly self sacrificing. If you have 3 kids please go ahead and let them know they're all fine to have a turn, even if an only child has to wait. It's not you having a turn, it's them!

Leaving a table in a busy cafe when you and your friend have finished coffee and cake , rather than sitting there for another hour without reordering because ' we got here first'.
Being considerate of gym equipment, fast/ slow lanes in swimming pools
Not panic buying things you can't use/ eat before they go off.
Not spreading your camping equipment into someone else's pitch space
Not playing loud music in your garden/ public places .
Important life skills start when you are a small child on things others want yo play with too.

Speak for yourself.

I was taught by my parents to share and to be considerate of the needs of other people around me. Those principles absolutely inform how I live my life as an adult. Sadly, I do encounter some people like you who were clearly taught to be selfish, but I don't regard that as a positive thing at all.

OP, kids don't acquire self worth by learning to be selfish, and you are not doing your grandson any favours by teaching him to be self-centred and inconsiderate.

So entitled mother wanted both swings. Pretty selfish. Not sure why kids wait by swings now, we never did as kids, go do something else. We had this when my eldest was a baby, a load of massive kids and their parents queuing to go on the toddler swings while the regular ones sat there unused. No one was rude about it though and no children cried.

We're in a busy-ish park, I have x3 kids that all want to go on the swings, I am not sure what to do in your eyes?

Do I commandeer all the swings? Do I pick a favourite child and only let them go on the swing? Or do I take one swing when it's our turn of course (thus leaving the other swings free to be shared) and let them all have a quick go each and move on?

I am genuinely curious now as to what your solution is.

Thank goodness I'm past all this shit now as mine are older.

If Op goes to parks frequently then one day she'll be the one waiting for an eternity. That will give her time to reflect on how it feels from the other side.

It’s not always that easy to get a toddler/young child to play elsewhere in the park if they’re set on the swing. I will often have to repeatedly reassure my child we are waiting for someone else to finish and then they’ll have their turn. It’s not some kind of passive aggressive comment secretly directed at the other adult, I’m literally just supporting my child to build patience.

I also agree with others that 6/7 mins is too long. Couple of minutes, then 10 more swings and let someone else have a turn. If you got off immediately, that would be implying your grandson’s needs aren’t important, but there’s a balance.

I've 2 minds about this. I agree that you don't just get off.

I also agree that his turn should be under 5 mins as it's not fair to monopolise the swing when others were waiting...

BUT the other mum had her other child on the other swing for nearly as long as your son so I also think her child should have got off the swing to share... I.e. exactly what happened. Same principle.

I've been in the same position as the other mum- 2 children 1 swing available and my children shared the swing.

In other circumstances though OP, pls don't let your child hog the swing for so long.