AIBU to let my grandson stay on the swing

I don’t think she was. I think she was making sure that he knew that and also that she was being a good parent to anyone else listening.

Hahah brilliant!

thats insane. Honestly I would be shocked as well.

I will never forget a friend of mine, whose DD was on a swing and needed the toilet and a drink. There was a queue of about 3-4 other children - mine included. Child (aged about 4-5) got off the swing and went to the toilet / back to the table to sit down and have a drink. My friend - the mum SAT ON THE SWING HERSELF TO “PLACEMARK” her child’s space so she didn’t “loose the swing”.

i was absolutely aghast and I’ve never got over it 😂

her reasoning was that her child would hold her wee otherwise / not drink if she thought she would “lose” her place on the swing. Absolutely mental.

Parents allowing kids to hog swings is a real bugbear of mine.
Years ago, I took a friends 2 kids to the park. There are two swings, both were occupied. We walked round and my charges played on a couple of other things, then we went back to the swings after 15 minutes or so. The same little girl was still on one of the swings, her mother leaning on a post nearby scrolling on her phone.
A three or four other children were waiting; the other swing was being used fairly.
We got to 2nd in the line, and I called out to the little girls mum, 'Can your little girl come off now because people are waiting'...'No, she is enjoying herself,' came the reply....and she went back to scrolling.

The little girl, who was around 5, stopped the swing to come off, she obviously had more sense than her mother, Her mother started shouting at the little girl to stay on, her child started crying, and in the end mum stalked off with daughter following.

YABVU.

That was way too long when someone else was waiting. And it’s not about someone else being more important it’s about taking turns. What she said was fine. You were a dick. You should have said “one more minute” and then counted down the last five swings and given them a turn, and then queued up again if he wanted to go on again. Tough shit if he had a tantrum. You behaved very selfishly.

Haha, I thought this too! Very similar post to the one about the child who hogged all the toys during the play session at the local pool, and was encouraged to do so by his parent/grand parent 🤣

.... but your GS had been on his swing longer than the other little girl who was being asked to get off her swing so her brother could have a go. Completely selfish of you OP, you're teaching your GS not to give a shit about other people, especially as he had already been on the swing for '5/6/7' minutes. He'll turn out spoiled and entitled if this is how he is encouraged to behave.

Surely Swinging etiquette starts at age 28.

I don't think a small child must share their toy, or a toy they have started playing with in a play group, but having a limited time on a swing when there are other children is completely normal, and you are selfish for not limiting it if other kids are waiting. Toddlers don't need to learn about putting themelves first, they always put themselves first. They aren't middle aged put upon houseiwves.

The fact is she made out in her initial post it was about her grandson having his turn etc when actually she has now admitted being bloody minded

if a kid isn’t ready to do turns don’t force them. Let them come to it when they feel ready

I'm afraid this doesn't fly in real life. Kids who hog stuff because they 'don't feel ready' to take fair turns with others will come to grief in the school playground where there aren't enough staff to hover over every child, or when they are old enough not to need constant supervision at the playground. Eventually some other kid will just push them off. Children have very strong ideas of fairness and limited patience.

Spits out tea pmsl

i so rem that thread !

If no one is waiting, he can stay on as long as it suits you both.
When other kids are waiting, 4 or 5 minutes absolute tops. That's an awfully long time for a child to wait.
I think you were being unreasonable.

I think you may have misunderstood. The Montessori philosophy very much values taking turns. All children are taught the value of asking if they can join in, waiting for a turn, etc. But children are not by any means encouraged to monopolise objects or equipment.

One way of thinking about it is that in my experience, most children seem be at the park for say half an hour tops. If 7 minutes was a reasonable time for the swing, that would mean a maximum of 8 children using the 2 swings during that period. Not many. If it's 3 minutes each, then 20 children can have a go, or 10 children twice if they aren't hugely in demand.

If also gives a chance for those who are only popping in for 10 minutes briefly.

That’s too long when other children are waiting.

Let's hope that the poor child's parents are able to counteract your influence on him so that he learns not to be a selfish, self-centred person who prioritises his own wishes without regard for anyone else. Because that is what your approach is teaching him.

I reckon we have all come across adults who were taught as children to centre their own wishes and to hell with what anyone else might want. They are not likeable individuals.

Whilst I appreciate parenting that thinks outside the box, some things have to be taught to small children because they don’t come naturally.

If the child doesn’t want to consider the wider community at any point, do you just keep on allowing them to call the shots? Genuine question.

They had only just got on the swing when the entitled loud mother with 2 kids turned up!

The other child on the other swing were on there just as long if not longer than the gs so why aren’t they ah too?