Daughter left to get hotel in reading on last day of festival by my husband who can’t be arsed to pick her up. Says I am being hysterical that I don’t think that is the best answer.

Definitely leave a 17-year-old girl alone, without friends, at a festival and go to collect her in the morning. I mean - what could possibly go wrong.... Honestly, some parents on here don't deserve the title parents. Your husband is being a dickhead. We have a rule that if we are needed we go - safety comes first every time. That doesn't mean you can't tell your child that they're useless and need to get their shit together - but ultimately that's a conversation to have once she is home and safe.

The last night is like a war zone, so in theory yes you can stay another night in a soaked tent and weather the tents being set on fire and feral anarchy, or you could watch as much as you can and leave safely before it kicks off? I would be pleased my dd was smart and looking after herself, even if we would be discussing the pick up time as it needs to be earlier potentially.

I can’t get my head around your dh not doing this for your dd. We have done so much driving for dd, including middle of the night drop offs/pick ups.

Dont most people camp tonight and leave tomorrow? Seems really odd to me to leave at 1am Sunday night

Possibly as he heavens opened and it’s terrible weather - downpours and site is soaked

this. I went out clubbing in central London from age c 14/15 without my folks knowing. Getting night buses back to suburbia to stay at pals homes. I used to sometimes get off a nightbus and walk through wild land at 3/4am in heels… I sometimes gasp at how often - weekly - I did this and how lucky I am for nothing to have happened to me. I went to reading as a 19 y o, in 90s ans it was hectic then. A friends bf drove us back but we couldn’t find him for ages at 2am and it was scary. The idea of a 17 yo wandering around the edges of the site at night or any town centre at night - tbh any woman - hell no. As annoying as the teen is being you keep them safe esp in a chaotic situation such as post festival close. If her friends are leaving would not allow DD to camp solo if that is the case.

It doesn’t matter. I would make sure I was there as my child would be a 17 year old female. (I’d do it for my son as well.)When I was younger and I went clubbing locally with my friends, my friend’s dad would collect us at 1-2am to ensure we got back ok. He did this without fail. I wouldn’t just leave it to chance of her camping on the street, finding a hotel god knows where alone, getting a lift from a random stranger. I’d much rather it was us there to collect unless we had made plans a long way in advance where we knew who she was with and exactly how she was getting back.

No one is unreasonable here, except perhaps DD, who should compromise and if wanting a lift ask DH to pick her up at a more civilised time.

I think it sounds like your daughter is back home now? From a logical POV not knowing how close you live or don’t live to Reading, she would still be hanging around at night. I’d imagine all rooms locally are booked up too. I think the other issue is how you feel your partner is talking to you and also fact he is having an affair. That is the issue underlying all of this. Im
nor sure how to respond to that x

Reading is probably safer than Reading festival. It is a safe town with a low crime rate. If you were ok with her going to Reading festival this does seem a little odd. When I was 16, I was exposed to drugs, drink and questionable sex at Reading festival. Reading town centre was always pretty tame.

And there is someone with no experience whatsoever of Reading! I think you will find there is a little more to it than 3 days of 'camping'!! 🙄

What emergency? Rescuing from what?
She's been camping for the last 3 days with her friends, she can camp for a few more hours so her parents don't have to queue in their cars for hours...

I’m a bit mystified by the number of posters asking ‘Why does she want picking up at 1am?’ when the answer is obvious. Look out of your nearest window. The weather is shit but Princess wants to enjoy the full evening at Reading without the discomfort of a night in a wet and wind blown tent.
Well, tough. Either leave at a civilised hour if it’s that ghastly, or suck it up as part of the British festival experience and get picked up tomorrow.

Good Lord!
There are some very odd answers on this thread!
I wouldn't actually allow a 16 yr old to go to Reading, or Leeds because I wouldn't expect them to be able to react appropriately in an emergency. I would certainly pick up a 17 yr old and wouldn't expect her to find her own way around a town centre that she doesn't know well in the very early hours of the morning.
I went to my 1st Festival aged 17, a friend's father provided transport there and back. The next year, a parent took us, we camped there and made our own way back on the 'official' coaches.
Even years later, after I bought my own house, if my car broke down at any time, I knew I could ring my Dad and he would come and rescue me. Just as he knew that if he needed help, he only had to ring me.

I simply cannot get my head round a DF who is prepared to leave his daughter to who knows what fate amongst a huge crowd of drunken, drugged up louts, miles from home, regardless of how he feels about the mother.

I would probably agree 11pm, or she stays for the night. It is unfair for op to be so exhausted collecting so late, and not especially safe.

Of course I would go for them if they wanted to come home know. But telling me they want picked up at 1am? Not a chance. I'd be telling them I'd be there in an hour if they wanted a lift but I'm not waiting until 1.00am

She is also negotiating with her friends, whom might be insisting on watching tonight's line up/or other reasons we can not know as to why this time was suggested. I am sure op can simply bring the time forward.

They can come home! Just not at 1am. And if it’s that bad and feral then coming home at 11pm rather than 1am
is surely preferable.

And anyone seriously saying they would leave their dc to ride it out at Reading are properly insane, and obv know nothing about it. Reading really descends into something bordering anarchy towards the end, setting fire to tents etc etc. Do not leave them if they have asked to come home!

She is asking to be picked up at 1am - she’s not scared or having a bad time, it’s not an emergency. She’s not ‘had enough’ or she’d be happy to be picked up now!

We need to distinguish here between a last minute SOS call and a teenager being demanding, flaky and changing plans - expecting the parents to be like a taxi service!

By all means collect her but not at 1am!!

Tell your to re-erect her tent and sleep there till tomorrow morning. Then either you or husband go and collect her or she catches a train home! Personally can't understand why you find driving tonight 'unsafe'. Lock the doors have your phone with you - the carpark will probably be full of other indulgent parents. Surely all this is a rite of passage of attending festivals and making your own arrangements as teenagers ?

You can use the car park, you can pay to get in and meet her at the entrance from the car park which is easier for you. Be sure you give her clear instructions, as the signal barely works.

We have teens and have had to pick them all up earlier - I would much rather they called, especially as she might be quite scared, things can be full on, and she has had enough. I would go and collect her, if my dh wouldn't, and would bring the time forward to 10pm. You could go together?

If something had happened or shed had enough then she'd be asking to be collected early, not at 1am.

If she had no other way to get home I would of course go and collect her but not if her agreed lift actually goes at 10pm and she wants to hang out a bit longer.

I wouldn't like it but then again I wouldn't be fussed on driving at 1am and waiting in a car park. I'd sooner that than dd walking the streets finding her hotel. I've done many late pick ups for the older ones , some planned some not so much and had calls at 2am when they can't get a taxi , no hesitation. We live in a fucked up world and I'd sooner know they're safe.