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AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night?

258 replies

Shezz95 · 30/08/2026 06:52

Little backstory:

We have two children (4 and 4 months), I breastfeed so wake up with the baby but he’s a good sleeper and usually wakes up once around 4/5am. At the weekend my husband and I take turns having a lie in and getting up with the kids - in my eyes a lie in should be an hour ish so that we can still spend time together and do the morning dog walk

Yesterday I woke up at 6 to feed the baby and then went downstairs with them both around 6:20. Baby’s routine is having first nap on the dog walk 2 (ish) hours after waking. Husband is still asleep at 8:20 so I’m trying to get dressed and get kids sorted without waking him, but am also a bit annoyed as he will be out from 10am all day, so kids won’t see him

He wakes up and quickly gets dressed to come on the dog walk and then is out at the football from 10:30 - 3:30, he then gets home and says he’s popping to the pub as it’s his friends dads birthday. He comes back at about 6 and we do bedtime together - not really relevant but just that he’s not seen the kids much today and he usually does either football or cricket one day a weekend so we only have one family day

My 4 year old hasn’t been very well, very lethargic and doesn’t want to eat. This morning he comes in at 6:20 saying he’s thirsty and wants milk. Husband says we don’t get drinks in the middle of the night and that he can only have water. 4YO is crying more and more as he wants milk (probably hungry after not eating much). The baby then wakes up happily babbling.

I say it’s probably best to just wake up now as it’s usual wake up time anyway and he’s poorly etc. husband is trying to get him back to sleep - he’s not going to go as it’s 6:30 and he’s just getting more upset, so I go into the room and husband starts shooing me away and saying I give in to every little whim (I don’t, I’m usually the one disciplining/carrying out consequences). I said I’ll just wake up with them then. He calls me a martyr and starts telling me to fuck off and that I’m being fucking ridiculous etc. I feel like he just doesn’t want to wake up early with them even after hardly seeing them yesterday

AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night and our ill child should be allowed to have a glass of milk!?

OP posts:
Funandnames · 31/08/2026 19:14

He sounds awful and is in the wrong. If this is your child’s routine and wake up time he can’t just get nasty and say to change it when it’s his turn.

However, as a mum of three kids aged 2-10, this routine is way too early for me and would lead me to burn out (possibly worse). Very good sleep is the foundation to mental and physical health.

It doesn’t mean he can changes the rules if that’s what you’ve both decided on though…

IsItOverYetPlease · 31/08/2026 19:43

@Funandnames God our kids are up at 6/6.30 always have been. It's not a routine we follow, it doesn't matter what time they go to bed, that's just the time they get up. Lots of their friends are similar. This isn't necessarily something the OP can change!

SecretsAndLies77 · 31/08/2026 20:02

Omg! Your husband is being so unreasonable!!

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 01/09/2026 00:23

You need to get a hobby and afternoon drinks out with the girls that takes up nearly all day time hours of one day over the weekend.

And let your Dear Husband look after the kids for that time

I don't care what they pretend or say. But some men do still not want to be involved in the reality with childcare at all and even resent it.

It is more than enough for them to go out to work to provide for their family
They should not be expected to do anything else. It is their God Given Right.

Even in 2026!

eastegg · 01/09/2026 00:30

Morethanalover · 30/08/2026 07:12

Earning money so the family can survive.

At the point you posted this, OP hadn’t said a word about jobs and earnings.

So you must be assuming that because he’s got a dick, he’s the main earner. OP could be the main earner (there’s this thing called maternity pay) and he could be on tuppence or unemployed. The only thing she’d said about his lifestyle was that he plays football or cricket at the weekend, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean professionally.

Apupandablanket · 01/09/2026 04:59

rubyslippers · 30/08/2026 06:55

Does your husband usually tell you to fuck off
your post doesn’t show him in a good light and he appears disengaged from you and his kids
6.30 isn’t night - it’s morning

Edited

With kids that age, 6.30am is on the late-ish side of waking up and getting going for the day! But that's not the point - your DH is a dickhead

DottyDot3377 · 01/09/2026 05:40

IsItOverYetPlease · 31/08/2026 19:43

@Funandnames God our kids are up at 6/6.30 always have been. It's not a routine we follow, it doesn't matter what time they go to bed, that's just the time they get up. Lots of their friends are similar. This isn't necessarily something the OP can change!

Exactly. One of my children tends to be an early riser whereas another tends to always sleep in later. Everyone is different. I tend to be an early riser. I couldn't imagine being so horrible to my child simply because they woke up...

Ihateasthma · 01/09/2026 06:52

Middle of the night is 2am-4:30pm

I woke up at 5:45am and that is not the middle of the night.

Sleeping beyond 7am on my days off when got nothing planned I feel rushed

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