Would you be annoyed by this or am I being unreasonable?

Unless you are broke then I can’t see what he’s done wrong. I’d never ask permission spend £40 and neither would my DH.

I couldn't live without my heated dryer - he's made a brilliant purchase!

Yes! It doesn't have to be transactional, it's just part of every day conversation. No purchase has to be made that instance and pretty much every guide to help reign in spending has a wait before purchasing advice.

We don't do the shopping together but whilst I'm making a list of doing an online shop I ask if there are any requests and say I was thinking of getting pork for tomorrow and a chicken for in the week. If I'm doing an online shop just before the edit deadline I'll give a brief highlight - they have the ice-lollies you like on offer so I've put a box of them in and I fancy a roast on Sunday so I've put a joint in and a load of root veg. He phoned the other day on his way home from work and said he was stopping to get petrol. He wasn't asking permission to get petrol, just a courtesy. I asked that could he get a loaf of bread as I hadn't had chance to put the bread maker on. He did and it saved me a trip to the shop.

Blimey. You need to lighten up.
You'll be glad he took the initiative when you can't put your washing out later in the year.
X

Hmm

does he have form for getting multiple versions of the same thing because it’s the latest (thinking of someone I know, who has two steamers, three vacuum cleaners and a shed full of outmoded mops)

I couldn't live with people bringing home "useful" things that fill the cupboards never to be used.... It's why I left my parents house! We also watched our parents do 3 sets of house clearances in 9 months following deaths and movement into care homes. The amount of household tat to be sorted was unreal. We really do not need as much stuff as shops tell you need.

Our home and our money are shared and we would rather keep it a happy place without an endless stream of gadgets coming through the door, to be used for a few weeks and then never again.

He’s missed a trick!! I got this and I hope the link works - amazing. I paid £25 in b&m
https://share.google/DVNN98aV7wpAcGCVQ

I would get worked up about £40 on a heated airer the same way £8 spent on a phone charger, potential fire risks!

That's a good point.
A good one though is well worth the money. I can't remember how much ours cost but it was from lakelandn

YABU.
I would be irritated if my other half bought something for the house I didn't want but then I'd have a word with myself and ask myself do I really want him questioning/resenting every time I buy something.

We don't have time to have a debate over every little thing - the bargain may be gone by the time we've talked. It's not like it was a washing machine. Besides, next time he might come home with exactly what you always wanted and that can never happen if he's too scared to make decisions.

I’d be pretty mad if my husband was auditing purchases like this!!! Dear me. It wasn’t £4K.

I do get your annoyance (I hate clutter) but…… heated airers are good. I think you’ll love it once you use it. And that does sound a bargain!

You are being unreasonable. I would hate it if my husband policed my spending in this way. Do you have an amount over which you tell each other about spending? We do - it's $1000. Below that, no questions asked.
He isn't a child spending his pocket money.

With work and the kids, I only have so much time to talk to my partner. The idea of wasting our precious conversation time on this sounds like torture.

Of course you should have a discussion on purchases that will have a major impact. But if my partner preferred to talk to me about which specific brand of bread to buy rather than anything of consequence I'd find that a profound discourtesy.

An electric clothes dryer wouldn't bother me. A big ugly clock for the living area would. Maybe something big for the kitchen like a foodproccessor I would like to buy jointly if we both cooked, but wouldn't get upset if oh bought a pasta machine. It's all relative I think.
Also depends on how much £40 is to your budget. If your saving hard to get out of debt or for a special holiday that would be annoying but if your OK financially no big deal.

YABU
Surely you don't have discuss every small purchase.

A discussion over a £40 airer? Unless you're quite cash strapped, YABU!

🙄

You said you aren't struggling for money so YABU and controlling. I could NOT live like that having to run a £40 purchase past my DH. Yuk.

I think you are being silly.

It's a £40 clothes airer, sounds very practical.

It's not like he spent £300 on an ultra-soda-syrup-waffle-maker 4000.

That poor man.

I don’t buy anything anyway (money issues) but wouldn’t like that I’d have to actually explain to dh why I wanted something, it takes away from the spontaneity. My friends regularly say ‘I just saw this and bought it, it’s very cool’, ringing a dp first would totally take away from that

i feel sorry for him. Adults should be able to buy inexpensive things without running it past their spouse or getting a flea in their ear. I wonder how much you give the poor man a hard time. It sounds miserable. Who made you the boss?

Not an issue, but anyway OP you’ll win, because they are shit and only dry quickly where the bars touch the clothes. Biggest waste of money ever IMO, stick your stuff on the radiator and kill two birds with one stone.

Unless he has form for not managing money well or wasting it I think YABU. Have seen you update its a heated airer and can’t imagine that not being used. They also take the edge off a room in terms of temperature. Assuming you have room for it, that is a bargain!