School mum ignored play date invitation

She probably forgot about it.

Is this the mum for the party you didn’t go to?

Did you turn the invitation down in good time, or did you say yes, and then cancel last minute?

Duplicated post

Some people just have a lot more stuff going on in their lives then arranging play dates 🤣🤣

I had this but slightly weird we spoke on the phone (she has slipped her number via reception into my sons book bag) and I couldn’t get off 3 hours I spoke to her for - then she blanked me totally despite her request for a play date. I messaged x3 times and nothing and then 4 years on someone at a club I go to was discussing ‘Vanessa’ and all of a sudden around the table - we all realised we had all been Vanessaed as in same MO - same request for a play date and same sort of initial phone call 3 hours of her life saga and then blanked - all 11 of us had been done. I think there is something seriously wrong either personality, executive function etc something. But it wasn’t me- huge relief.

Dont over analyse she will be busy. I sent out invites to my sons birthday party and one mum still hasnt answered. It makes no difference to me and her i pass her and say hi every morning. I will remind her nearer the time and if nothing it doesnt matter one less to pay for. This is our childrens lives not ours she is not a friend it isnt personal.

So easy to miss one message - come on. Just invite the kid over for a playdate.

It is rude.

it is also common.

both things can be true.

falls in the category of rude but we’ve all done it.

You've not really read all the responses have you ?

What everyone is pointing out to you is that she most likely hasn't chosen
to ignore an invitation for their child to come over, she saw it when it was sent, was unable to reply instantly for any of a myriad of reasons, and then just forgot.

Is there a reason why you didn't follow up a week later with "We are heading out to the park this afternoon, Oliver was wondering if James would like to come with us?" or "We're going to get the paddling pool out tomorrow, does James want to come round and play?" etc.

Wow judging by the replies everyone on here is rude as fuck. No one really forgets to reply to a message. They just can’t be arsed.

I would argue the opposite is true.
The mum has no connection with you and you fit into the 'school admin' category, which if on holiday or she is stressing with work and childcare may take up more head space and is seen as less important.

If you were an established friend then you might have more importance as there is a connection already and she knows that she wants to maintain it.

I think it's fine for you to message again or to wait til school starts and ask again then.

Also do bear in mind not everyone does playdates. I can count on one hand how many we have done other the years.

Maybe she is just busy, why dp people have to come up with these backstories for why people do or dont do something

Yes in an ideal world every single person wpuld do exactly everything we want of them but if somome not replying to a message creates this much angst maybe there are other issues going on for you?

You sent a message they didnt reply so move on, is this really worth it?

She hates you and your child, what you should do is obsess about it for years.

I am not saying its rude or not rude. I think the stage of life i am in i just dont care enough about it, and if my child really wanted to play with the child i would text again 'i dont know if you missed my invite for a playdate, little william really wants to see alfie'. If nothing let it go, no problem. Its about the children it isnt about you.

It's really rude. A response takes seconds.You're not asking for a 6 page essay! I'm surprised at how many people simply have poor manners.

It's not great to ignore and id always try to reply to someone, but in modern life the admin of receiving messages and responding can feel overwhelming. I often respond to things in my head but don't manage to actually write them down. Playdates are hard for me because I work full time.

You seem to be taking it very personally but it could so easily be an oversight (I mean it could be that she doesn't like you very much too - no one here knows).

She might also have difficult things going on in her life.

I would message her once more and ask again.

Someone up thread mentioned the WhatsApp going into the school admin type category.... I totally agree. It depends how many children you have but honestly if you have more than one child you can be literally inundated with several requests a week from different mum's and dad's for play dates with one or other of the children and birthday parties and school things at end of term so it can be really easily missed!!

Also not everyone has the summer holidays off, I don't I'm doing the whole childcare, holiday club and work juggle plus sorting out play dates etc for when I'm not working. I'm going to miss a few things here and there!

I agree. These days, people seem to think it’s ok to treat others like disposable trash. Not all of us want to sign up to that.

The thing is I don’t forget to reply to messages from people I care about/ respect/ am trying to build some kind of polite or friendly relationship with.

I've just counted. I've had messages in 59 different chats this August. If I were still at the stage of juggling work and childcare and all the things dc go to when out of routine in the holidays as well as usual life worries, and caring responsibilities and generally doing all the juggling I did when my dc were young, I am pretty sure I would have forgotten to reply to more than one of them.

Possibly the other parent isn't quite as perfect a parent as you are ?

Im the same as you OP, I find this behaviour really rude as im pretty conscientious on this type of stuff.

That said, my wife is much more like the concensus on this thread. She gets it right. Dont overthink how you might look "desperate or pushy" you are doing this for your kid so just crack on! Send another message and see what happens.

Your intuition is probably right about this woman BUT so what?! She isnt gonna be your bestie and your son is unlikely to stay mates with the kid for life so who cares! Try again on behalf of your son I reckon. Good luck!

She’s probably busy and completely forgot to reply! Stop overthinking it!

Also, I’m autistic and find social interaction draining. But I put on my best social face if someone texts me and it’s about our kids meeting up. For my daughter’s sake if not mine!