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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People have started being nicer to me since I started hrt - aibu to think it's related?

104 replies

CurdinHenry · 27/08/2026 21:58

Like I must be exuding some pro social pheromones as a result

I am certain it's not because my behaviour or confidence have changed

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 27/08/2026 22:02

I'm gonna say (from a safe distance), have you maybe been nicer to them?

Personally I'm 50 something, overheated as fuck and pure evil if you look at me the wrong way.

Original poster
CurdinHenry · 27/08/2026 22:03

mrsm43s · 27/08/2026 22:02

I'm gonna say (from a safe distance), have you maybe been nicer to them?

Personally I'm 50 something, overheated as fuck and pure evil if you look at me the wrong way.

No. I never got the "I'm in peri so I should be an arsehole now" phase. I started for genitourinary problems (which are also vastly improved).

OP posts:
Namenamchange · 27/08/2026 22:03

Sorry i had to laugh at your title, maybe you are being nicer to them?

TakeMe2Insanity · 27/08/2026 22:04

Kindly, you may not be looking so stressed/irritated. Enjoy the change!

EmeraldShamrock000 · 27/08/2026 22:05

You’re glowing. Maybe?

WindsorGreatPark · 27/08/2026 22:05

I didn't realise how difficult I had become to be around until HRT. Don't underestimate it. Even if that isn't why you chose to start it.

Pippa12 · 27/08/2026 22:08

I have recently started HRT and the lift in my mood has been noticeable in a short period of time. Perhaps people are just not irritating the fuck out of you as much?

Throwntothewolves · 27/08/2026 22:18

CurdinHenry · 27/08/2026 22:03

No. I never got the "I'm in peri so I should be an arsehole now" phase. I started for genitourinary problems (which are also vastly improved).

Show quote history

I don't think it's a choice women make

Millytante · 28/08/2026 01:21

CurdinHenry · 27/08/2026 22:03

No. I never got the "I'm in peri so I should be an arsehole now" phase. I started for genitourinary problems (which are also vastly improved).

Show quote history

I had no bother at all with hassle-free menopause (at 58), never mind any ‘perimenopause’ runup to it. Periods too were pretty damn easy all my fertile life.
But. But. At a creaky and sub-optimal 70, I do wonder is it too late to give HRT a go.
Cannot deny that once menstruation ended, the drop in hormones seems to have been a real catastrophe for my poor bod. Havent been truly right since then. (Feel more like 90, physically, and a bit of mental rejuvenation would be welcome)
Anyone near my age been a late adopter?

OP: it sounds like your happy hormones have reasserted themselves! Brava 💐

McSpoot · 28/08/2026 01:30

You may not think you’ve changed but they might think so. You might also be (unconsciously) interpreting their comments and actions differently.

Katflapkit · 28/08/2026 03:10

Love get a grip, HRT well ...... it's a bit like cleaning your windows in and out, now when you look out of the window it really is quite lovely.

Original poster
CurdinHenry · 28/08/2026 08:22

Katflapkit · 28/08/2026 03:10

Love get a grip, HRT well ...... it's a bit like cleaning your windows in and out, now when you look out of the window it really is quite lovely.

I feel exactly the same

I'm telling you it's chemical externals

(My skin does also look better)

OP posts:
Original poster
CurdinHenry · 28/08/2026 08:24

Throwntothewolves · 27/08/2026 22:18

I don't think it's a choice women make

Show quote history

Of course it's a choice. You can choose to be pro social or anti social. This new subculture of revelling in the latter is really off-putting.

OP posts:
Mumtotornadoes · 28/08/2026 08:28

I think it's far more likely that your general demeanor and tolerance has changed as a result of the hormones you're on, that are known for improving mood.

Rather than everyone around you being able to subconsciously detect the change in your hormones and feel more favourably towards you.

Merrymoonage · 28/08/2026 08:31

You’re being nicer so they are being nicer to you.

Poppingby · 28/08/2026 08:34

If it is the pheromones rather than the hormones allowing you to see things differently is it those pheromones that made DH actually attractive and non objectionable again once I started HRT? I knew it wasn't me.

Beachlover1993 · 28/08/2026 08:36

CurdinHenry · 27/08/2026 21:58

Like I must be exuding some pro social pheromones as a result

I am certain it's not because my behaviour or confidence have changed

Do you think its pshycological

FluffMagnet · 28/08/2026 08:40

Yeah, it is really not a choice and you probably haven't even realised how you've been coming across to others recently.

itsgettingweird · 28/08/2026 08:41

It’ll be a change people are seeing outwardly that you may not realise is there.

Im peri (no uterus so have no idea what stage of menopause I’m in but I had hysterectomy 5 years ago)

Everyone still thinks I’m lovely and kind and will do anything for anyone.

On the outside that’s what they see.

inwardly I have DILIGAF vibes and I’m sure they aren’t as well hidden as people are acting like they are 😂

honeylulu · 28/08/2026 08:49

Maybe they aren't being nicer but the benefit of the HRT is that they seem less irritating?
I've found since I was around 45 or so my tolerance is other people's BS (even quite mild BS) has become very low.

I haven't tried HRT because I feel quite well otherwise and a a lifelong people pleaser I'm quite liking the change so far!

BogRollBOGOF · 28/08/2026 08:51

Me: wonders why everyone is being an irritating arsehole.
Looks at menstrual calendar
Oh it's day 17. That's OK, they'll snap out of it in a few days Grin

LimpRat · 28/08/2026 09:00

Estrogen is a helluva drug

Twatterati · 28/08/2026 09:01

When oestrogen levels drop we lose the level of ‘caring/nurturing’ hormone. It could well be you hadn’t noticed their niceness, and they’ve not changed, but you can see and feel it properly again (and more like you used to).

BCBird · 28/08/2026 09:04

I think u probably seem more approachable OP. Ur 'I don't give a f*ck' attitude has probably diminished a bit. Glad things are improving.

JJkate · 28/08/2026 09:04

CurdinHenry · 28/08/2026 08:24

Of course it's a choice. You can choose to be pro social or anti social. This new subculture of revelling in the latter is really off-putting.

Show quote history

I agree. There's a certain type who seem to embrace being nasty "because of peri". Some of the comments on threads about this are absolutely vile.