People have started being nicer to me since I started hrt - aibu to think it's related?

104 replies

CurdinHenry · 27/08/2026 21:58

Like I must be exuding some pro social pheromones as a result

I am certain it's not because my behaviour or confidence have changed

OP posts:

GoldTie · 29/08/2026 10:12

CurdinHenry · 28/08/2026 08:24

Of course it's a choice. You can choose to be pro social or anti social. This new subculture of revelling in the latter is really off-putting.

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Jesus. In the throes of early menopause I had no choice but to be ‘anti social’. I was living on 5 hours sleep a night and had massive hot flushes. I had to be in an office every day in a full on job and was often crying or on verge of tears. I was sometimes physically sick and shaking from tiredness. My anxiety was through the roof. So yes I was ‘anti social’ in that I socialised as little as possible and tried to keep myself to myself. I didn’t have rages at people but there were some inappropriate tears which were uncomfortable for everyone.

10 years on I still take HRT, for all the benefits it gives, and feel good. Don’t underestimate how hellish some phases or periods and menopause can be for some.

In your case people are probably acting differently as you seem marginally less prickly than usual and they are relieved.

whyohwhydelilahdarling · 29/08/2026 10:23

CurdinHenry · 28/08/2026 08:24

Of course it's a choice. You can choose to be pro social or anti social. This new subculture of revelling in the latter is really off-putting.

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I find your lack of empathy antisocial and off putting. You also seem very sure in your views and a tad sharp.

I am perimenopausal and it has had a pretty catastrophic impact. I am exhausted (insomnia), have stiff and sore joints, heart palpitations and significant word finding difficulties as well as other cognitive symptoms. I also have fairly young children and a very demanding job. Am I Little Miss Sunshine? No I am not, but luckily I am surrounded by understanding people who cut me a bit of slack. I’m not on HRT and people are nice to me anyway. You reap what you sow….

NoWordForFluffy · 29/08/2026 10:27

BoredZelda · 28/08/2026 11:51

You sound like my mum. “I just got on with it” Growing up with my mother was so horrific at times, we were terrified of her. She, to this day, is still convinced she was Mother Earth incarnate and we had no problems. Menopause was the worst but she “just got on with it” apparently. Meanwhile we all walked on eggshells to avoid her temper, knew never to come to her with problems or issues as teenagers and made sure we kept out of her way so we didn’t poke the bear. She is approaching 80 and her intolerance for other people, her constant negativity, her inability to even consider the fact that other people might have a different experience, is the reason I largely avoid visiting her if I can. She has no idea that my siblings and I see visiting as a duty not a pleasure because we are still just pasting a smile on and pretending it’s all ok. Perhaps if she had sought help rather than “just getting on with it”, she wouldn’t be as unpleasant as she continues to be. 🤷‍♀️

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We seem to share a mother. You have my empathy / sympathy.

SethAndReubenTooSendGaloshes · 29/08/2026 10:30

CurdinHenry · 28/08/2026 21:41

You don't seem to understand what causes menopause so I would suggest checking your self confidence in this whole area tbh.

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What ARE you talking about?

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