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AIBU?

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AIBU? DH and family holiday

333 replies

Mrshermitt · 27/08/2026 11:41

FIL birthday this year and theyve planned a family holiday abroad but it’s 1.5k each and at Christmas time. I am unwell so I can’t go anyway and we can’t afford to spend money like that now I’m not working. We have 3 kids so looking at 7.5k for all of us.

DH desperately wants to go and I’ve just said go because I’m sick of hearing about it. I can barely manage taking care of myself some days but somehow I have to figure out with the kids.He’s going for 7 days and coming back on Boxing Day.

Can I ask would your husband do to this to you and your family or even consider it? Especially at that time of the year too?

OP posts:
Timeforachange26 · 02/09/2026 16:07

jackstini · 02/09/2026 16:01

No guarantees in life and maybe this hit a sore point for you

Those I know who do this go halves - 1 has Christmas Eve & half Christmas Day, the other has half Christmas Day plus Boxing Day

Poor kids shoved to a different household halfway through Xmas day.

It's hardly a sore point for me,unless of course it would've been nice for my kids dad to actually have ever seen them Xmases

I just get amazed by the comments that start " I would never" when I a certain situation. Shit happens, and the " I would never" lot get a rather nasty bump down to reality when they don't have the choice anymore

MickyMoonshine · 02/09/2026 16:13

Timeforachange26 · 02/09/2026 16:07

Poor kids shoved to a different household halfway through Xmas day.

It's hardly a sore point for me,unless of course it would've been nice for my kids dad to actually have ever seen them Xmases

I just get amazed by the comments that start " I would never" when I a certain situation. Shit happens, and the " I would never" lot get a rather nasty bump down to reality when they don't have the choice anymore

Edited

But in this case the dad does have a choice. And he is choosing the holiday.

Timeforachange26 · 02/09/2026 17:42

MickyMoonshine · 02/09/2026 16:13

But in this case the dad does have a choice. And he is choosing the holiday.

Whats the relevance to the post you quoted?

MickyMoonshine · 02/09/2026 19:03

Timeforachange26 · 02/09/2026 17:42

Whats the relevance to the post you quoted?

The fact you were talking about some people not having a choice.
You keep comparing this situation to divorced parents. It’s not the same

ChocoChocoLatte · 09/09/2026 10:05

Not a chance would DH do this. Nor would his family even suggest it.

Thebigarsedbitch · 09/09/2026 18:37

MadMadaMim · 29/08/2026 21:00

I didn't discuss or comment on what his first choice is or isn't.

I corrected a misunderstood assumption.

Wanting to do one thing does not automatically mean you don't 'want' to do another. It's not that he wants to leaving his children over Christmas - it's that he wants to celebreyhis dad's 60th over Christmas.

Yes, this impacts other things but those things aren't his wants or 'first choice '. They're a result/consequence

He wants to celebrate his dad's 60th.

Does he fuck! He wants to enjoy a lovely child free holiday that he can't really afford. As a parent and a grandparent the last thing I'd ever expect - or want - is for my children to prioritize my poxy birthday over providing a good Christmas experience for my grandchildren. And I'm sure that the vast majority of grandparents feel exactly the same. Stop making excuses for this poor excuse of a father.

MadMadaMim · 09/09/2026 19:47

Thebigarsedbitch · 09/09/2026 18:37

Does he fuck! He wants to enjoy a lovely child free holiday that he can't really afford. As a parent and a grandparent the last thing I'd ever expect - or want - is for my children to prioritize my poxy birthday over providing a good Christmas experience for my grandchildren. And I'm sure that the vast majority of grandparents feel exactly the same. Stop making excuses for this poor excuse of a father.

You don't know him. You don't know his family. What you want and prioritise is different to what others want and prioritise.

Thebigarsedbitch · 09/09/2026 21:33

MadMadaMim · 09/09/2026 19:47

You don't know him. You don't know his family. What you want and prioritise is different to what others want and prioritise.

And you don't know them either! However, I find it quite extraordinary that any parent would expect their children to fund their own and the grandchildrens' travel and accommodation costs in the Caribbean at the most expensive time of the year simply to celebrate a bloody birthday, when it could be celebrated just as easily and much more cheaply in the UK. A rich seam of selfishness and stupidity obviously runs through the whole family as is evidenced by the fact that they all seem to believe that it's perfectly okay to leave the children and their sick mother to fend for themselves over Christmas.

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