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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to use the toilet while my husband is showering?

117 replies

Respos · 16/08/2026 18:54

Don't know what topic you'd put this under but picture this scenario - one bathroom in the house, husband is in the shower, you're suddenly desperate for the toilet - what do you do?

OP posts:
PiffleWiffleWoozle · 16/08/2026 20:29

This is really a question you need to ask your husband.

Getamoveon2024 · 16/08/2026 20:29

A wee yes, wouldn’t give it a thought. Good job, because we currently have no door on our en-suite! Never more than a pee though, for either of us.

Ponoka7 · 16/08/2026 20:30

My DP has a stoma and because of partial paralysis, takes around 20 minutes to empty it and be out. It's a similar time to shower. I just go before he goes in. Bowel complaints are different, but both of a couple have to adapt to a health condition. So work out what works, but both of you have to agree.

Mokel · 16/08/2026 20:30

Obviously many couples who have two or more toilets at home, when go on holiday, high chance that their accommodation has only one loo. What do you in this situation? Use, wait or, if in a hotel, go to use the loos at the reception, pool area etc?

Darkdiamond · 16/08/2026 20:31

Blueburner · 16/08/2026 19:41

My DH has seen me give birth… really don’t think this is something I’d be worried about

So has mine and I imagine plenty of women who still don't like to pee in front of their husbands if there is any other option. I soiled myself during the pushing stage in two of my deliveries in full view of my husband and that hasn't made me any less uncomfortable with using the toilet in front of someone else. I don't pass wind in front of my husband either, even though he saw me get ripped from one orifice to another, too!

Ukholidaysaregreat · 16/08/2026 20:32

OMG. It is completely fine. I agree. Don't flush or the shower temperature will massively increase!

Likeiloveyou · 16/08/2026 20:33

A quick wee is fine. A poo isn’t. I always lock the door so you would have to wait.

In our house it’s a rule that you call to everyone to see if they need the loo before you shower.

Pinkgin00 · 16/08/2026 20:34

We only have 1 bathroom and my husband will happily sit in a bath for over an hour, so if I need a wee whilst he is in there, I will go. If he is taking a quick shower, I will wait.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 16/08/2026 20:35

I grew up in a house with one bathroom, bath and no shower and a father who would spend an hour at a time in the bath.

Nobody EVER used the loo while someone else was in the bath. You checked with everyone before you had your bath!

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 16/08/2026 20:36

Wee - fine
Poo - I've no idea if it was urgent

YoniWheretheSunDontShine · 16/08/2026 20:39

No 1 no issues , no 2 one of us has to leave

Walker1178 · 16/08/2026 20:41

Our shower is over the bath and we just have a normal curtain so you can’t see the person washing and they can’t see you. We rarely close the door and will often pee or brush teeth whilst the other is showering.

Awkwardisfunny · 16/08/2026 20:42

Respos · 16/08/2026 18:54

Don't know what topic you'd put this under but picture this scenario - one bathroom in the house, husband is in the shower, you're suddenly desperate for the toilet - what do you do?

Do you mean because the hot water goes off when you flush? Just don't flush. Otherwise: it's weird that couples won't go to the toilet in front of each other. I mean.. you can watch a human come out of your partner's vagina, but not see her sat on a toilet? Okay.

Yetone · 16/08/2026 20:53

petermaddog · 16/08/2026 19:36

just dont flush

Depends if the shower has a thermostat!

I think a wee is fine. I would avoid a poo at all costs. We have 3 loos so not a problem at home but on holiday we always ask each other if they need the loo before we shower.

SquirrelGG · 16/08/2026 20:54

If it's just for a pee it wouldn't worry me at all, and in fact it's been done by both of us. A poo is a bit different, but if it was urgent, well it's urgent.

I really don't get how people can have sex together and yet be so delicate over toilet issues. Confused

ZoeyBartlett · 16/08/2026 20:55

Be fine for either of us for a pee. Ideally not a poo unless desperate.

neversaynever9281872 · 16/08/2026 21:01

I find this subject so odd. This is your DH/DW not a random person. They can't see you got to the toilet? He has literally seen his children come out of my vagina - am sure he can cope with me having a wee and vice versa! Would not do a number 2 unless absolutely desperate but only because it smells. Odd people.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 16/08/2026 21:04

Not a problem in our relationship. I quite like the company. It’s just a wee. He’s seen me give birth!

Pinkchickenwine · 16/08/2026 21:04

SALaw · 16/08/2026 18:59

I wouldn’t go from not needing to desperate so quickly that I wouldn’t have either gone before he showers or be able to wait until he’s finished. Been together 20 years and no need to ever use the toilet in front of each other. I grew up in a house with 1 bathroom and no one ever had this issue.

This!

mrsm43s · 16/08/2026 21:13

It depends on how you and your husband feel about it really. DH and I are quite happy and comfortable peeing, pooing and indeed showering in front of each other if the need arises (we don't go out of our way to do it!). But if anyone wasn't, then you hold on til the person occupying the bathroom finishes.

Pistachiocake · 16/08/2026 21:15

QueenStevie · 16/08/2026 19:03

I think it depends if it's a number one or number two. A quick wee, I could probably cope with although it wouldn't be ideal but anyone doing a stinky poo in front of their partner - just no! To be fair, if he is just in the showers he is only 5 mins anyway so I suppose the only occasion when I couldn't wait was if I suddenly was taken very unwell in which case I would yell, "Get out! It's an emergency!" Otherwise, I would just wait a few minutes.

Now DD and her epic baths on the other hand...this is the reason I would never have a one loo house ever again! They can go on for hours.

Weren't most one-loo houses originally made with the toilet separate from the bath/shower? Never got why people knocked them through to make one room!

Unless I was desperate, I'd not use the loo when anyone was in the shower, but if I lived in a one bathroom place, I'd expect people to ask if anyone needed the loo before showering.

MsIceSandwich · 16/08/2026 21:19

SquirrelGG · 16/08/2026 20:54

If it's just for a pee it wouldn't worry me at all, and in fact it's been done by both of us. A poo is a bit different, but if it was urgent, well it's urgent.

I really don't get how people can have sex together and yet be so delicate over toilet issues. Confused

I tend not to shit when we're having sex...ymmv.

LBFseBrom · 16/08/2026 21:22

I always did, so did my husband. It's not as if we have anything they've not seen before.

B1anche · 16/08/2026 21:36

LBFseBrom · 16/08/2026 21:22

I always did, so did my husband. It's not as if we have anything they've not seen before.

In threads like this, there are always people who come along and imply that anyone who does not want to piss and shit in front of their other half, is in some way uptight. Actually, I just prefer being able to get on with things without an audience. I'm the same if I'm cooking; I don't want people coming in and chatting or sticking their head in the fridge.

greenleaf01 · 16/08/2026 21:48

Error