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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

580 replies

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 17:52

Whats the point of consent and permission ? friends meal and they cover the cost, they said here is x amount get what you want, so permission is asked what the limit is eg £20 and i can get whatever food / takeaway with it, the yes permission is given that i can buy what i want within the budget.

turns out a day or two after wards a sarcastic comment was made because i had 2 jacket potatoes with different toppings, so i said why is that an issue and it turns out that they still thought id get one instead of two ,

so i said i asked permission of what the budget was and i did ask what i could get then all i got was oh id still thought you would get 1 so i said why then say i can get x why not just say and be honest.

i guess this is more me moaning but why do people do this, say yes to x then they actually want you do to x instead its like why ?

before anyone asks we usually do a weekly meal out, and no they are fairly wealthy

OP posts:
ohsosomething · Today 00:17

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:13

true, but it would help if they said only one meal, as i had already asked the budget so to me its mixed communications

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When it comes to budget, it’s the maximum amount they are willing to spend if say you happen to chose something expensive from the menu. You didn’t though, you chose a £7 potato with toppings. So they would have been delighted to have fed you for way under budget.

Just remember, when you’re spending other people’s money, be careful with it. That’s the decent thing to do. Don’t go on a spending spree because they gave you a budget.

Floatlikeafeather2 · Today 00:15

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 21:14

i dunno, im a strange fish

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Oh OP, all this effort (pages and pages of it) to make yourself seem interesting and you're still so wide of the mark. You are in fact very, very boring, albeit also obnoxious and rude. I find it hard to believe anyone can be so clueless so you must just be trying (and failing) to appear disingenuous. I find it even harder to believe you've been anywhere near a university.

ImmortalSnowman · Today 00:15

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:13

true, but it would help if they said only one meal, as i had already asked the budget so to me its mixed communications

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Is your friend actually your support worker?

Original poster
MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:13

ohsosomething · Today 00:11

When you’re spending other people’s money, it’s always within reason.

Within reason in this instance, would have been 1 potato with toppings.

Not within reason, is a pig out at their expense.

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true, but it would help if they said only one meal, as i had already asked the budget so to me its mixed communications

OP posts:
ohsosomething · Today 00:11

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:08

how is it pigheaded ?

you ask someone if they want a cuppa they say no,
you ask someone if they want dinner they say no
you ask in the supermarket if the item is 0.99p

all are yes or no answers

so why when someone says you can order what you want, be any different , that was my point

Show quote history

When you’re spending other people’s money, it’s always within reason.

Within reason in this instance, would have been 1 potato with toppings.

Not within reason, is a pig out at their expense.

Original poster
MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Today 00:08

PeachesSansCream · Yesterday 23:31

how old are you? Do you work? Have a partner?

I’m intrigued as to how someone so pigheaded and ignorant functions in day to day life, you don’t seem to have any awareness of social norms/human behaviour at all!

how is it pigheaded ?

you ask someone if they want a cuppa they say no,
you ask someone if they want dinner they say no
you ask in the supermarket if the item is 0.99p

all are yes or no answers

so why when someone says you can order what you want, be any different , that was my point

OP posts:
PeachesSansCream · Yesterday 23:31

how old are you? Do you work? Have a partner?

I’m intrigued as to how someone so pigheaded and ignorant functions in day to day life, you don’t seem to have any awareness of social norms/human behaviour at all!

PeachesSansCream · Yesterday 23:28

This is the most infuriating thread and most stubborn, obtuse, greedy CF poster I think I’ve ever seen on here!

do you have any other friends?? I’d be grateful for these ones, if they have any sense they won’t stick around much longer…..

FluffMagnet · Yesterday 23:21

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 20:20

my point is why do people do this, why not answer with a proper answer when asked then stick to it.

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As explained before, when people understand social etiquette, they do not need the etiquette rules said out loud. So for most people, the answers you were given would simply be further guidance on top of the basic, unsaid rules and therefore are not wrong or the opposite of what is being meant.

By way of analogy, if someone asked for directions when driving, you would say "first left, through the traffic lights then second exit on the roundabout" but would not think to point out they should use mirror, signal, manoevre before turning, check the traffic lights are green before proceeding and give way to the right on the roundabout, because we assume that knowledge is known and understood already. It does not make the directions any less valid or wrong.

ImmortalSnowman · Yesterday 23:09

MademoisellePraline · Yesterday 22:09

consistently referencing a fictional character from a fairly shit television programme by way of mitigation

Well that's me fucking creased 👌😁

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I read your perfect synopsis in Jim Parsons voice ... "previously on The Big Bang Theory .."

Minasama · Yesterday 23:08

I think you don’t expect someone to order double, or order something from the expensive half of the menu, when you have offered to pay for their dinner knowing they are struggling financially.

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:30

CowboyBuilders · Yesterday 22:26

Origins of fish and chips

Fish and chips combined two immigrant food traditions in 19th-century England. Sephardic Jewish refugees brought fried fish from Spain and Portugal, while fried potato chips developed in Western Europe. Street vendors sold them separately before shops united them into a single meal.

Edited
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The tradition of "Fish and Chip Friday" combines ancient religious rules with 19th-century working-class food culture. Christians historically avoided eating land meat on Fridays to honor the crucifixion of Jesus, choosing fish instead. When cheap fried fish and chips became a popular industrial-era meal, Friday naturally became the ultimate night for the pairing. 1, 2, 3, 4]

Fish and chips - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_and_chips

CowboyBuilders · Yesterday 22:26

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:11

We couldn't either, but it was a well known tradition.

Show quote history

Origins of fish and chips

Fish and chips combined two immigrant food traditions in 19th-century England. Sephardic Jewish refugees brought fried fish from Spain and Portugal, while fried potato chips developed in Western Europe. Street vendors sold them separately before shops united them into a single meal.

BudgetBuster · Yesterday 22:26

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 22:10

Nope! We couldn't afford a takeaway every week. Fish and chips was a rare treat growing up.

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If you find a friend like the OPs you could have it every week for free

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:11

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 22:10

Nope! We couldn't afford a takeaway every week. Fish and chips was a rare treat growing up.

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We couldn't either, but it was a well known tradition.

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 22:10

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:08

The days of a Friday chip shop take-out was obviously not part of your life.

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Nope! We couldn't afford a takeaway every week. Fish and chips was a rare treat growing up.

MademoisellePraline · Yesterday 22:09

FaceEatingLeopard · Yesterday 22:05

"It's been a good debate"

It's been a say what now? Have you any idea at all what a debate actually is? I can tell you what it isn't. It isn't this where someone goes on for Christ alone knows how many pages about the same nonsensical thing consistently referencing a fictional character from a fairly shit television programme by way of mitigation. That's what it isn't.

Now do excuse me - I have to go and reset my digital earrings.

Show quote history

consistently referencing a fictional character from a fairly shit television programme by way of mitigation

Well that's me fucking creased 👌😁

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 22:09

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 22:02

they were medium and not great sizes

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I really wish you'd photographed them for us to gauge for ourselves as you seem to have a somewhat skewed view of the world....

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:08

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 22:06

No, not every week! Maybe every few months.

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The days of a Friday chip shop take-out was obviously not part of your life.

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 22:06

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 21:41

I could, couldn't most of us?

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No, not every week! Maybe every few months.

FaceEatingLeopard · Yesterday 22:05

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 21:49

its been a good debate, and yes im in the wrong

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"It's been a good debate"

It's been a say what now? Have you any idea at all what a debate actually is? I can tell you what it isn't. It isn't this where someone goes on for Christ alone knows how many pages about the same nonsensical thing consistently referencing a fictional character from a fairly shit television programme by way of mitigation. That's what it isn't.

Now do excuse me - I have to go and reset my digital earrings.

murasaki · Yesterday 22:04

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 22:02

they were medium and not great sizes

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It doesn't matter. It was 2 dinners. Stay at home if you can't grasp this.

Original poster
MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 22:03

MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:01

To be fair jacket potatoes nowadays are tiny (not agreeing with getting 2 meals but spud sizes now are small)

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thats why i ordered 2

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · Yesterday 22:02

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 21:58

Who eats TWO jacket potatoes?! ! You ordered two meals. Pub/restaurant portions are already larger than what most people would eat at home. Did you manage to finish them both??
You took the mick, OP.

they were medium and not great sizes

OP posts:
MatriarchCaz · Yesterday 22:01

shrunkenhead · Yesterday 21:58

Who eats TWO jacket potatoes?! ! You ordered two meals. Pub/restaurant portions are already larger than what most people would eat at home. Did you manage to finish them both??
You took the mick, OP.

To be fair jacket potatoes nowadays are tiny (not agreeing with getting 2 meals but spud sizes now are small)