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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

543 replies

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
Pallisers · 08/08/2026 17:02

you need new friends.

Bikergran · 08/08/2026 17:01

They aren't friends.

Bigcat25 · 08/08/2026 16:59

Will you say anything to your friends about their rude reaction, op?

diddl · 08/08/2026 16:57

At the end of the day whatever the proposal the outcome is hopefully the same-a long & happy marriage.

ViciousCurrentBun · 08/08/2026 16:57

DH proposed to me in his great grandparents garden. We didn’t even tell anyone for 3 days, no party or fuss. It was close to 30 years ago.

WinterAconite · 08/08/2026 16:55

I don't agree with your friends at all.
Congratulations

MrsBrianJones · 08/08/2026 16:55

He's a keeper OP, ditch the jealous shrews who can't even pretend to be happy for you!

Not everyone wants a helicopter and a flash mob for their proposal, good for you and congratulations!

blackonblue · 08/08/2026 16:54

What a lovely thoughtful proposal! What a gem of a man you have.

Your friends suck. Its not too late to get some new ones.

HeCouldNotWouldNotOnABike · 08/08/2026 16:53

I think it sounds lovely.

My proposal was rubbish! He couldn't wait so just proposed as soon as he saw me again.

We have been really happily married twenty five years now.

Kerri126 · 08/08/2026 16:51

Awww, he’s a keeper, it was a heartfelt and thoughtful proposal that had you on cloud 9. Your friends are mean, time to loose them.

Congratulations!

user293948849167 · 08/08/2026 16:50

Your friends are idiots and are probably jealous.
It’s the marriage that matters not the proposal or wedding

ps congratulations!

shhblackbag · 08/08/2026 16:49

Just because you've known them a long time, doesn't mean they're real friends now, OP. They were shitty to you.

Congratulations on your engagement.

cityliving99 · 08/08/2026 16:49

38 years ago we were walking up the street where my husband lived. All of a sudden he turned round and said ‘ I can’t live without you, marry me’.
No fancy planned proposal and no thought at all - but perfect at the time.
Your partner sounds wonderful, your friends do not.

Newsenmum · 08/08/2026 16:47

Your friends sound very jealous

Chocolateistheanswer2026 · 08/08/2026 16:47

It sounds as though they're the types to demand an insta style ott proposal and very attention seeking. Your fiancee was thoughtful and romantic and that is what matters. What's the betting they have flashy engagements.and weddings and end up divorced whereas you guys will commit in a meaningful way and last the distance? The fact that your fiancee remembers that he told you he loved you at that spot means he cares enough to remember - that's what's important. Congratulations on the engagement and don't let these 'friends'spoil it for you.

ScaramoucheCanYouDoTheFandango · 08/08/2026 16:47

Sounds like a lovely personal proposal to me. Something that meant something to both of you, the people that actually matter in a proposal, rather than for show for other people.

I hope you are standing tall and telling your friends it was perfect and tell them to stop tarnishing it for you by mocking it. I would be quite cross with them if they didn't apologise.

Congratulations! 💍

Crushedcrackles · 08/08/2026 16:46

They are jealous. I had a similar situation when we got engaged and a so called friend implied it was a cheap ring.
They then brought up that my partner was once sacked from a job . When we bought a house six months later , the hounds of hell were unleashed.

Don’t let people steal your joy . They are not your friends . Block , delete and cut out and cancel them and anyone who is negative towards your relationship.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 08/08/2026 16:46

Awwwww your fiance sounds lovely. Your friends sound like dicks.
I thought my DH was going to propose to me at brunch on my birthday and I was so anxious about it, he didnt, but he did pop the question later the same day when we came out of our baby scan. It was perfect.
Don't include or invite these friends to your wedding. You don't need that negativity in your life. Life is not a spectacle for others ❤️

AllTheChicken · 08/08/2026 16:45

Aw he sounds so lovely and thoughtful. Congratulations! I wanted a similar proposal, no pressure to perform in front of others, just us. I think it's wonderful that he took your feelings on board, its a massive green flag!

Your friends are red flags - even if it isnt their type of proposal, they absolutely should not be laughing at yours. If they had concerns about your df and him being cheap they could have done so in a more respectful way

Purplebunnie · 08/08/2026 16:43

Perfect proposal. I absolutely hate all these proposals we keep seeing on the Internet - only done for clicks. It was personal and how it should be

I wouldn't bother inviting them to the wedding, they'll be posing in front of the photographer to get pictures to to put on their Instagrams. You need real people in your life, not plastic people

Big congratulations to you and your fiance - give him a hug from me, he sounds a keeper

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 16:43

Oh thank you for all the responses I didn’t expect so many ☺️

I am very happy and my fiance is too! My parents are absolutely over the moon.

I saw a comment about judgement of character as these are my best friends. They’re my oldest friends from primary school, and our mums are all very close. I see them 2/3 times a year. One friend is married, other one single.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 08/08/2026 16:43

DH proposed to me in the kitchen when we were preparing a meal. I was something really romantic like “I think we should get married” 😂😂

Very little of our engagement, wedding or marriage is instagram worthy but it has lasted over 26 years. Your relationship and how you celebrate it belongs to you and your DP and nobody else.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 08/08/2026 16:42

What he did was sweet and personal. Congratulations!

Comeondoreen · 08/08/2026 16:40

They are jealous of you for some reason and therefore need to bring you down to maintain their own egos.

Are they all single? Are you prettier or thinner than them? Wealthier? There will be something.

Boomer55 · 08/08/2026 16:39

Ignore them.