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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends mocking my engagement :(

407 replies

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
Uricon2 · Yesterday 16:21

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 16:05

My proposal was "Do me a favour, will you? Marry me."

Show quote history

I think that's lovely.

I've been scouring my memory for what details I know of other proposals. Back then, even those of the most attention loving sorts seem to have been very low key. I don't know when it changed to the Disney on Ice spectaculars expected now, but have suspicions it is not unconnected with Instagram.

I actually feel very cross with your 'friends' @UpShitsCreek . Please don't let them in any way spoil this for you (and don't invite them to the wedding)

GoldMoon · Yesterday 16:13

Engagements are not all about expensive hotel rooms , flowers , & recording it to put on social media .
Something meanfull , and heartfelt ( as it was ) should mean so much more .
Disregard your ' friends ' opinions .

diddl · Yesterday 16:12

Well you were wearing something Op so you've got the march on me😊😂

Stablegirl2012 · Yesterday 16:11

Congratulations! 🤩 your friends sound incredibly rude and very shallow - I hope you and your fiancé wallow in your celebrations and stay excited for your future together 🥰

ahhhhhwoof · Yesterday 16:09

Your friends are bitter and/or jealous. My DH proposed when he was 19 (I was 18) 23yrs ago at a med school party in a corridor, when he was drunk. You can imagine the comments. We have been together for 23yrs and married for 18.

Terfarina · Yesterday 16:07

Your friends sound like people who think getting married is all about the wedding rather than the marriage to come. Utterly shallow.

my husband proposed to me sat on a sofa in front of top gear with a ring that is not to my taste and was way too big. 18 years on we still have a strong marriage.

CheeryOP · Yesterday 16:06

They sound jealous. Real friends support you not just through the hard times but also through the best times.

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 16:05

ToadRage · Yesterday 15:21

At least he took you somewhere. My husband proposed in bed one afternoon after work, no ring, nothing special I was devastated, I said yes cos I wanted to marry him but all the things we'd done and places we'd been when he could have done and didn't. I should have known cos he used to mock people who did special proposal, his best mate did it at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Ignore your friends, he knew you didn't want a public proposal and he did it somewhere that is special to you as a couple. Congratulations!

My proposal was "Do me a favour, will you? Marry me."

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 16:04

Uricon2 · Yesterday 15:20

It was a lovely, meaningful, classy proposal and your " friends" are either image obsessed Insta queens, jealous or both.

I would HATE any proposal that wasn't absolutely private in the moment. It's about you two.

Congratulations!

Well said.

AmazedinSpaces · Yesterday 15:50

I think it's a gorgeous, sweet and romantic proposal. Really thoughtful and tailored to what you would like. I'm similar to you. Would have hated to have been proposed to publicly, especially something that is predictable like fancy restaurant or holiday viewpoint. To me, those proposals take no thought at all - so predictable! My husband proposed to me at home on a work night! It was perfect for me because it was normal and not flashy, just like us!

PeopleWatching17 · Yesterday 15:50

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

My son-in-law proposed to my daughter in a girls, on a fallen tree, where they first kissed. They married 88 days after they met and have been together for seven years and have four children. Your partner sounds lovely. You friends are not.

Einszwei · Yesterday 15:46

Congratulations on finding such a thoughtful and loving husband!

Your 'friends' sound so jealous and/or materialistic.

pigsDOfly · Yesterday 15:44

Franklinlove · Yesterday 14:21

And doesn’t say much about her judgement in people…. So makes me wonder how amazing this DP is!

Show quote history

Really? You sound as spiteful as the OP's 'friends'.

NotTheMrMenAgain · Yesterday 15:42

Congratulations!🥂

Your “friends” are gobshites.

And your fiancé sounds lovely.

Try not let their spite take the shine off your happiness.

mydogisthebest · Yesterday 15:42

It was a lovely proposal. Each to their own but I don't like big showy proposals. DH proposed to me sitting on the settee at his parents' house so goodness knows what your so called friends would have thought of that!

SchnitzelAgain · Yesterday 15:42

Mygodinheaven they’re horrible. Your fiancé did a great job, and the proposal was hugely romantic. Your so-called friends made me think of the ugly step-sisters in Cinderella.

Cosyblankets · Yesterday 15:41

He clearly knows you better than they do.

5128gap · Yesterday 15:38

You have a lovely fiancé and horrible friends.

FashionVixen · Yesterday 15:38

Congratulations, OP! Wishing you both every happiness together.

Do not ask those bitches to your wedding.

Poorbloodycat · Yesterday 15:38

I think that's actually the most romantic proposal that I've ever heard of. As for your " friends" jealousy makes people act in a really ugly way. Congratulations!

LilWoosmum82 · Yesterday 15:36

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

Do you know what i think, he knows you and he gave you what you like. I think that's beautiful and thoughtful. Your friends, well they don't appear to know you as well as your fiance. And friends come and go. Xx congratulations xx

Dumbledora8 · Yesterday 15:36

hope they aren't your 'friends' anymore

Hankunamatata · Yesterday 15:36

The saying goes

'With friends like that you dont need enemies'

ShodAndShadySenators · Yesterday 15:35

Classic sour grapes. Fiancé is a keeper, friends... maybe not! They do sound jealous

Moveoverdarlin · Yesterday 15:34

Out of interest are they married? Or single?

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