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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friends mocking my engagement :(

543 replies

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
Ohwhatfoolsthesemortalsbe · 09/08/2026 19:37

My first ever post after decades of lurking!! I can only echo what others have said. PLEASE do not let your so called friends ruin this for you. He sounds wonderful xx

CosySocksBasket · 09/08/2026 19:34

Your proposal is wonderful, I had a lovely romantic one too and cherish it.

Those people are not friends, that response is a very clear indication of jealousy. It’s a very immature reaction too, that have a lot to work on.

Ordonot · 09/08/2026 19:29

Congratulations, that sounds really thoughtful. I'm not a big fan of public declarations. Sorry your friends are dicks - I've recently realised my friends have behaved like dicks too, I know I should walk away from them but I keep making excuses but I no longer trust them with anything personal.

Flomingho · 09/08/2026 19:28

Congratulations on your engagement. It's a lovely genuine heartfelt proposal and meaningful. A proposal should not have to fit with some Instagram ideal. Best wishes to you both.

Maisymouse2 · 09/08/2026 19:28

Congratulations
It is thoughtful,, it certainly is more special given the time and past
I think it is scatty behaviour from friends.
Who are they to judge

Illegally18 · 09/08/2026 19:25

ClaredeBear · 09/08/2026 18:28

Wow, I was full on thinking how romantic this was until I got to the bit about your “friends”. Please do without them until you find new ones.

I agree. I can't imagine anyone dissing someone's engagement ring or proposal. It seems unbelievable.

KLD89 · 09/08/2026 19:24

Even if they felt that way, they shouldn’t be telling you! This is about you and one of your happiest moments and milestones! It’s not their proposal, so they don’t have to like it. And it was nasty of them to laugh, that’s just insult to injury.
The proposal suited you, it was considerate because he remembered the spot he said something meaningful. A lot of men don’t pay attention to those small details, so I’d consider you lucky!
I think it was a very sweet proposal. A proposal doesn’t need to cost anything, it was thoughtful and sentimental.
You need to re-think this friendship, as I don’t consider their behaviour as something true friends would do. Congratulations on your engagement.

wizzler · 09/08/2026 19:22

Congratulations . I think that’s a very romantic proposal

SuePerblybuilt · 09/08/2026 19:14

I’d rather no friends than ones like them.
My DH proposed to me next to a field of curious cows, with a ring he’d secretly saved for for years, on my lunch break from work as he couldn’t wait. They sound shallow AF, and frankly, jealous. Put ‘em in the bin: your fella is a keeper x

Rpop · 09/08/2026 19:14

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

It sounds like a genuine and heart felt proposal and you felt on cloud 9. Much better than some tacky thing for Instagram. I can’t believe they would criticise it - this doesn’t make sense! How horrible. Just enjoy x

Mumtobabyhavoc · 09/08/2026 19:12

Please do not invite them to your wedding.

Start distancing yourself now with very late replies to texts, backing out of plans because "something has come up" or "I'm so tired".

Never explain what you have been up to, just a vague, "Busy as usual. Will catch up soon." But "soon" never comes. Then stop replying at all. Trust me. Those "friends" will take digs at every choice you make for your wedding and honeymoon. They won't let you feel good about anything.

Meanwhile plan a lovely intimate wedding with only your closest. Your fiancé sounds very sweet to propose where he remembered saying, I love you, for the first time. 💕

Mykneesareshot · 09/08/2026 19:11

VickyEadie · 08/08/2026 12:48

I think anyone who says they want a performative "proposal" is vacuous and shallow. Ignore them and reconsider whether they're real friends to you.

💯 %

exaltedwombat · 09/08/2026 19:10

"They arnt your best friends. They happen to be kids of your mums friends."

Who are only your Mum's friends because their kids were your school friends!

But nice try!

JemimaPergolaTrout · 09/08/2026 19:08

I proposed to my husband with my hands in the washing up, him doing the drying. He remembers it as him proposing to me! After 19 years it hardly matters now.

You’re not marrying your bitchy friends, you’re marrying him. If it was meaningful for you both, then that’s all that matters.

exaltedwombat · 09/08/2026 19:06

"I always told him I didn’t like big proposals"

Best to make your proposal requirements clear early in a relationship! :-)

Hankunamatata · 09/08/2026 19:06

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 16:43

Oh thank you for all the responses I didn’t expect so many ☺️

I am very happy and my fiance is too! My parents are absolutely over the moon.

I saw a comment about judgement of character as these are my best friends. They’re my oldest friends from primary school, and our mums are all very close. I see them 2/3 times a year. One friend is married, other one single.

They arnt your best friends. They happen to be kids of your mums friends.

Time to move on

catlover123456789 · 09/08/2026 19:05

Sounds like you were really happy until your jealous bitter "friends" gave their opinion.
It costs over £100 a head at most weddings, luckily you found out early who not to invite!

Itchysidefoot · 09/08/2026 19:04

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 16:43

Oh thank you for all the responses I didn’t expect so many ☺️

I am very happy and my fiance is too! My parents are absolutely over the moon.

I saw a comment about judgement of character as these are my best friends. They’re my oldest friends from primary school, and our mums are all very close. I see them 2/3 times a year. One friend is married, other one single.

And they they all ganged up and agreed that this was a crap proposal? All of them?

Anyway, you only see them 2x a year… just cut out those two visits. Shouldn’t impact your life

Zerosleep · 09/08/2026 19:04

I think your friends are nasty to be honest and not real friends. Who behaves like that with a friend they care about?!? The most important thing is that you are happy and you felt good about it, fuck anyone else. I actually think it’s quite sweet. What’s important is how they treat you every day not ridiculously over engineered proposals that are all about ego. Tell your friends to shut up or just get rid.

JHound · 09/08/2026 19:03

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

You need new friends.

DancyNancy · 09/08/2026 19:03

Oh god I hate the over performative pretentious proposals. Ridiculous.
Yours sounds really lovely and sweet and real!
Congratulations 🎉

GrannyHelen1 · 09/08/2026 19:02

You don't need friends like this. Are they jealous, perhaps? My husband proposed to me in the car on our way out. When I said yes, he pulled over and kissed me, then we went on our way. I genuinely don't understand why a proposal of marriage needs to be a big, ostentatious, splashy and expensive business - after all, surely it's just two people who love each other, agreeing to make a life together? I wish you every happiness, and hope you will have as long and happy marriage as my husband and I.

Itchysidefoot · 09/08/2026 19:01

Odd these are your best friends

can’t imagine what an acquaintance must be like

IcyShark · 09/08/2026 19:00

He thought of you. He realised and remembered that moment and place in your relationship and he felt it would be a special time. I think its lovely. Your friends wouldn't understand it aas a special moment between the two of you that you won't get back . Congrats!!!

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 09/08/2026 19:00

Congratulations to you both - that sounds like a really lovely and thoughtful proposal.

My husband proposed to me in a supermarket car park in the rain 🤣 We've been very happily married for 27 years this year.

I do think some people forget that a marriage is forged in the everyday moments, on the normal boring weekdays. It's not actually about the big set piece occasions (I mean, they can be lovely, but they're not what makes a marriage) More fool them, I say.