Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

407 replies

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
orangehandles · Yesterday 17:29

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 16:43

Oh thank you for all the responses I didn’t expect so many ☺️

I am very happy and my fiance is too! My parents are absolutely over the moon.

I saw a comment about judgement of character as these are my best friends. They’re my oldest friends from primary school, and our mums are all very close. I see them 2/3 times a year. One friend is married, other one single.

They might be your oldest friends, but they are definitely not the nicest. Their comments were staggeringly bitchy and unkind.

Your fiance sounds absolutely lovely and thoughtful by the way, and congratulations on your engagement.

Yep123 · Yesterday 17:27

Leave your friends to their bullshit drone Dubai proposals and for God’s sake don’t be influenced by them when you’re planning your wedding.
Be happy, both of you ❤️

GingerBeverage · Yesterday 17:24

Hope you have someone else in mind for maid of honour because those two won't do a good job.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · Yesterday 17:21

Your friends are horrible. My DH proposed to be in my bath robe in our kitchen! After 9 years together. I was surprised and mentioned we were going to New York a few weeks later but he said he would’ve been on edge the whole time

Lemonandlimetrees · Yesterday 17:18

What a thoughtful, romantic proposal! I would seriously question their values and grasp on the world. The only people I've come across who would feel 'sick' being proposed to in their pyjamas are women who think a proposal is something you post on instagram and, I suspect, have shallow relationships. Judgy? Yes.

Congratulations.

Rosesanddaffs · Yesterday 17:18

Well stuff what they think, as long as you are both happy, that’s all that matters xx

SoManyNotebooks · Yesterday 17:17

Honestly, I love this op - it's thoughtful and non-performative. I would distance yourself from these people - their values are very different from yours and your fiance. Congratulations!

Foodieasfuck · Yesterday 17:17

That is the loveliest proposal ever… so thoughtful. Fuck your ‘friends’! Congratulations OP 😊

Arcticienne · Yesterday 17:13

Hang on to that man ! And maybe just spring the odd surprise on HIM from time to time. I wish you a long happy future together.

Viperregency · Yesterday 17:13

Gosh what a lovely sweet proposal , very thoughtful and a lovely memory.

im afraid I also think you’re friends are jealous. Some people do this, if they are jealous of someone, they mock them, or if they covet something, they put it down,slag it off. It’s a way for them to feel better. And yeah it’s horrible.

Campervanadventures · Yesterday 17:07

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

How lovely. Be in no doubt about it you are a lucky girl. May he always be so thoughtful. Love each other well and forever. ❤️

Minasama · Yesterday 17:07

Your friends sound shallow and horrible.
He sounds lovely.

They are probably quite jealous.

As married life goes on, friendships change. Bluntly, in a good marriage your friends become loads less important because you have your life partner to do everything and talk about everything with. Good friends become secondary people you enjoy spending time with now and again. Less good friends fall by the wayside as there isn’t enough time to keep up with them once you have kids and a job, and you meet new friends through your kids.

Keep this behaviour well noted, and don’t let them derail or spoil your hen do, wedding day or future marriage.

AnnieDoodling · Yesterday 17:05

Congratulations! That’s two off the guest list for the wedding.

MyDpsanarse · Yesterday 17:04

Your friends don't sound jealous but they do sound very shallow, they think the fake instagram proposals are how it's supposed to be done. Your DP proposal sounds simple but heartfelt and he obviously wants to marry you very much. I think you have a much better chance of a long and happy marriage than the people who are all for show

Pallisers · Yesterday 17:02

you need new friends.

Bikergran · Yesterday 17:01

They aren't friends.

Bigcat25 · Yesterday 16:59

Will you say anything to your friends about their rude reaction, op?

diddl · Yesterday 16:57

At the end of the day whatever the proposal the outcome is hopefully the same-a long & happy marriage.

ViciousCurrentBun · Yesterday 16:57

DH proposed to me in his great grandparents garden. We didn’t even tell anyone for 3 days, no party or fuss. It was close to 30 years ago.

WinterAconite · Yesterday 16:55

I don't agree with your friends at all.
Congratulations

MrsBrianJones · Yesterday 16:55

He's a keeper OP, ditch the jealous shrews who can't even pretend to be happy for you!

Not everyone wants a helicopter and a flash mob for their proposal, good for you and congratulations!

blackonblue · Yesterday 16:54

What a lovely thoughtful proposal! What a gem of a man you have.

Your friends suck. Its not too late to get some new ones.

HeCouldNotWouldNotOnABike · Yesterday 16:53

I think it sounds lovely.

My proposal was rubbish! He couldn't wait so just proposed as soon as he saw me again.

We have been really happily married twenty five years now.

Kerri126 · Yesterday 16:51

Awww, he’s a keeper, it was a heartfelt and thoughtful proposal that had you on cloud 9. Your friends are mean, time to loose them.

Congratulations!

user293948849167 · Yesterday 16:50

Your friends are idiots and are probably jealous.
It’s the marriage that matters not the proposal or wedding

ps congratulations!

Swipe left for the next trending thread