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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friends mocking my engagement :(

543 replies

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 10/08/2026 00:39

Congratulations.

It sounds a lovely romantic proposal.

SALaw · 10/08/2026 00:18

I hope you gave them very short shrift. What awful people.

Tsham · 10/08/2026 00:14

Cheap??!

You sound like someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

MmeDubois7 · 09/08/2026 23:17

They are jealous. And not very nice.

Cojones · 09/08/2026 23:15

Why does a proposal need to be flashy and showy? It was meaningful to you both, he put thought into it. It was a private proposal which is what you wanted. He met the brief, your friends should shut up.

QueenietheGreat · 09/08/2026 22:56

@UpShitsCreek
Congratulations!
Dead envious green is not an attractive shade now is it??
And if those are what you'd even remotely call friends.............

Franjipanl8r · 09/08/2026 22:54

FeistyFrankie · 09/08/2026 22:34

Online, people love to bash any effort to make an engagement special.

However, there is SOME truth in what they are saying - it was a bit cheap of him not to take you out for a meal beforehand or put a bit more planning into it.

OTOH your friends were utterly tactless in saying what they did. They should have congratulated you and kept their negative thoughts to themselves.

I would say, if he has form for being cheap, maybe pay attention to that. But if you are otherwise happy, and there are no other issues, then just forget your friends' opinions. They may well be jealous, especially if they are not in relationships themselves.

Why is it cheap? Why does an engagement need to cost money or be public in someway? It sounds like he listened to what the OP wanted - a private romantic gesture.

noworklifebalance · 09/08/2026 22:52

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:51

I was so excited to tell them, we’ve been friends since we were in primary school!

my boyfriend asked what they said when I came back, all excited, so I said they said it was really sweet. Because I didn’t want him to be sad.

he is incredibly happy about it, and keeps pointing out the road where it happened “that’s where I said I love you for the first time and asked you to be my wife” 😭

He loves you and is excited about spending the rest of his life with you ♥️

Your friends, on the other hand, sound shallow and spiteful and clearly do not care about your feelings.

Franjipanl8r · 09/08/2026 22:52

It sounds like those friendships have run their course. What a lovely sweet thoughtful engagement, don’t let them take the shine off of it!

OhcantthInkofaname · 09/08/2026 22:45

I'm of the consideration that proposals need to be private and personal. He did good. They didn't.

NoodleHorses · 09/08/2026 22:39

That sounds like a wonderful, thoughtful, proposal. I hope that you are both very happy.
I also hope that you find some lovely new friends as your current ones are not your friends. How could anyone mock such a romantic gesture. They are very shallow.
Your fiancé sounds amazing. Congratulations 🥂🍾

Tsham · 09/08/2026 22:38

And look on the bright side, it’s two less to pay for at the wedding.

FeistyFrankie · 09/08/2026 22:34

Online, people love to bash any effort to make an engagement special.

However, there is SOME truth in what they are saying - it was a bit cheap of him not to take you out for a meal beforehand or put a bit more planning into it.

OTOH your friends were utterly tactless in saying what they did. They should have congratulated you and kept their negative thoughts to themselves.

I would say, if he has form for being cheap, maybe pay attention to that. But if you are otherwise happy, and there are no other issues, then just forget your friends' opinions. They may well be jealous, especially if they are not in relationships themselves.

Tsham · 09/08/2026 22:33

Sounds a great way to propose.

Your friends have probably fallen for social media shite that dictates what a proposal should be and look like - sheep basically, as shallow as a puddle.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/08/2026 22:27

Brain rotted by Instagram and tiktok, probably.
Congratulations OP 💐.

Surgz · 09/08/2026 22:20

What horrid friends! Its nice and dont let them spoil your happiness. Stick up for yourself..tell them you are not into big public gestures and he pitched it perfectly, or actually just tell them to fuck right off! PS congratulations!

78Summer · 09/08/2026 22:02

He sounds wonderful and they sound horrible. Back seat at the wedding for them. Congratulations!

TubeScreamer · 09/08/2026 22:02

Sounds lovely!

your so-called friends don’t sound very nice at all

NoMoreUsernamesAnymore · 09/08/2026 22:01

Congratulations. It sounds absolutely lovely and it has meaning for you both.

My hubby proposed in a queue for a toilet. We were at a party, surrounded by friends, having the best time and he was so overwhelmed with love in the moment, he proposed. I'd much rather that than a cookie cutter restaurant and roses proposal.

People are different.

Your friends sound like the types who care more about the wedding than the marriage.

chezzabee80 · 09/08/2026 21:59

I'd be distancing myself, doesn't matter how long you've known them that's not true friend behaviour that's actually nasty. Congrats on your engagement, my husband did something similar and it meant alot that he was thoughtful to what suited me and we've been happily married 14 years so I'd concentrate on your happy engagement and your future and find better more supportive and kinder friends as lives too short for that kind of negativity and judgement.

Schoolsschsxho · 09/08/2026 21:56

so romantic!!!

Moulook31 · 09/08/2026 21:53

Congratulations on your engagement. I wouldn’t take any notice of your friends. They are just immature or perhaps jealous.

Autumn38 · 09/08/2026 21:23

Ahh that’s really lovely. I actually love the thought of you heading out in your pyjamas - makes it spontaneous somehow which is lovely. Congratulations.

ps you need to ditch the ‘friends’ im afraid. You can do better than them

pastadish · 09/08/2026 21:16

Those people are arseholes and they are not your friends.
I don’t care how long you’ve known them they are not your friends.
It was a very romantic and meaningful proposal and it sounds perfect. Wishing you both happiness

edited to add my husband proposed to me in the kitchen, no idea what I was wearing probably my old house clothes. It never occurred to me that the proposal needed to be some big gesture and it wasn’t romantic enough. It’s a marriage proposal how much more romantic can it get?!

TeaAndTattoos · 09/08/2026 21:14

What a lovely perfect proposal ignore your horrible friends. My DH proposed to me in our flat he put rose petals down and played some music he went to a lot of effort and it was perfect for me he knows that I would’ve been so embarrassed if he had done it publicly.