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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

407 replies

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
madaboutpurple · Yesterday 13:10

Well plenty on here are saying Congratulations. I agree those supposed friends are no doubt jealous. I wish you both all the best when you do get married.

CreamSecond · Yesterday 13:10

Sounds perfect to me. Congratulations!

NoisyMonster678 · Yesterday 13:10

Your fiance understands you do not like public proposals......and I don't blame you. He proposed to you in the best way he possibly could and your friends put their own preferances above yours which is why they were arrogant and belittled what should be an important and beautiful moment in yours and your fiances' life.

Don't let their arrogance and selfish attitudes put a downer on your wonderful news, rise above them and be happy together because that is what really matters here.

Congratulations to you and your fiance.💐🎊🥂🎉

NegativeSpace · Yesterday 13:09

he is incredibly happy about it, and keeps pointing out the road where it happened “that’s where I said I love you for the first time and asked you to be my wife”

💕 a beautiful proposal with special meaning for you both 💕

Your friends wanting an Instagram proposal, instead of the meaningful heartfelt proposal you had, sound immature.

Congratulations op.

Maybe elope, so they don’t ruin your wedding too!

Dontevenlookatme · Yesterday 13:09

Do not have these friends as your bridesmaids. Not until they have had a serious chat with themselves.

NoHotGirlsInHell · Yesterday 13:09

They are not your friends.

dreamingofgoodhair · Yesterday 13:08

Your friends are ignorant twats. Congratulations

Jasmin71 · Yesterday 13:08

I think they're jealous

PS5Gamer · Yesterday 13:08

Congratulations to you both.

The proposal sounds lovely, and very romantic and personal to you both.

SaySomethingMan · Yesterday 13:08

What a lovely proposal. He sounds like quite a catch, OP. Congratulations

Your friends sound very jealous

Daisymae55 · Yesterday 13:08

This sounds like the perfect proposal! These people aren’t your friends.

Huge congratulations 🥂

Ovoemconserva · Yesterday 13:08

Anybody can do big elaborate expensive proposal's that look good on Instagram but it takes true love to do something small intimate and beautiful he considered your feelings not the optics.
Congratulations I wish you a happy loving marriage.

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 13:08

Your 'friends' are not your friends.

Imdunfer · Yesterday 13:07

I'd take a bet you'll be married a lot longer than they will and to a much more genuine man than they end up with.

RumPidgeon · Yesterday 13:07

Congratulations on your engagement! It sounds like a lovely, thoughtful thing to have done. Meaningful and special to you both. a lovely private moment in a sea of Instagram posts and staged proposals.

I’d find some new friends ASAP. Those saying mean things are not worth your time.

TunnocksOrDeath · Yesterday 13:07

If you need performative crap to make an engagement “special” then you’re an idiot. Your friends are shallow idiots.
“Will you spend the rest of your life with me, be there with me through it all, and grow old together” is literally the most amazing thing that someone could ask you. If that’s not enough, then it’s the wrong person.
DH asked me to marry him on a dull Sunday at home. Our marriage is real, solid and happy. The best friend who was flown to somewhere fancy so it was “more romantic” was divorced after less than a decade, cos he was good at romantic and crap at real life.

ChocolateCinderToffee · Yesterday 13:06

Your friends are frenemies. I’d phase them out. The proposal sounds thoughtful and romantic

Wingingit73 · Yesterday 13:06

How personal and special. They're not your friends.

LostTheGoodScissors · Yesterday 13:05

Do they feel insecure about there own situations and are being bitter, or have they had the Insta worthy proposals of their dreams? Either way they sound like dicks.

RoniaCheetah · Yesterday 13:05

It sounds like he really knows and gets you. This is a lovely, authentic proposal - thoughtful and romantic. Sounds like you have a brilliant foundation for your marriage and future. Congratulations.

WorthyMintKoala · Yesterday 13:04

Congratulations! It sounds very sweet and thoughtful, and most importantly you are happy and excited. What horrible friends.

petitpasta · Yesterday 13:04

It sounds like a lovely meaningful proposal. Much better than any of those staged over the top proposals complete with a photographer. Yours was from the heart and your friends and not your friends sadly.

user1471538283 · Yesterday 13:04

I think it's lovely and thoughtful. Congratulations!

All these performative proposals and then hugely expensive weddings focus on the wrong thing. It's about wanting to be married to the person not how it happens.

I know someone who's had 3 performative engagements and weddings and none of them lasted more than 3 years.

My DGF proposed to my DGM outside the chippy without a ring and they were married for the rest of their lives. She used to glow when telling us this story as we passed the chippy!

PrancingPanda · Yesterday 13:03

What a lovely romantic gesture- he has obviously put a lot of thought into it. And he remembered where he first told you he loved you!! That in itself is special.
Congratulations to you both 💍

RaininSummer · Yesterday 13:02

Your friends are shallow, rude, thoughtless fools. The proposal sounds lovely. Congratulations.

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