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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

543 replies

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
Frazzledinmyforties · 08/08/2026 14:16

@UpShitsCreek you have horrible friends! Seriously, nasty, bitchy people! The proposal was perfect for you, you’ll remember it with a smile in years to come.
Some of us don’t like everything to be a show. Do these “friends” also post their entire existence on social media?

Asiana · 08/08/2026 14:16

Well my husband said in bed, not even after sex, 'so you really want to get married dontcha'. Were still in love & happily together decades later so... you can guess my opinion about this.

Mountainpika · 08/08/2026 14:15

My husband proposed to me when we were sitting on the sofa in my flat. No ring. No fuss. Nothing fancy. That was in 1971. We're still happily together. Yours was a lovely way to do it.

NarnianQueen · 08/08/2026 14:14

They’re jealous bitches 😝
Congratulations on your engagement and lovely proposal! Don’t let them take the shine off it for you! I wouldn’t tell them another single thing about your relationship/ wedding planning etc. if they’re trying to ruin a proposal they will also happily slag off your choice of dress, flowers, cake, venue…

ThinKingCaps5 · 08/08/2026 14:10

I bet you'll both have a lovely, happy life together! He wanted to propose to you because he loves you, not because he wanted to have something to show off on Instagram. I feel sorry for your friends, they're either shallow or jealous. Congratulations!

MyNewestUsername · 08/08/2026 14:09

UpShitsCreek · 08/08/2026 12:51

I was so excited to tell them, we’ve been friends since we were in primary school!

my boyfriend asked what they said when I came back, all excited, so I said they said it was really sweet. Because I didn’t want him to be sad.

he is incredibly happy about it, and keeps pointing out the road where it happened “that’s where I said I love you for the first time and asked you to be my wife” 😭

This is adorable! Sounds like the perfect, meaningful proposal for you. Congratulations!!!

BeaLola · 08/08/2026 14:09

Congratulations to you both.

Don’t listen to them - so many people are more interested in over the top “Instagramable” picture perfect proposals accompanied by tonnes of photos rather than the important moments eg you have the right partner and you are happy

bevm72yellow · 08/08/2026 14:09

These are not genuine friends. It doesnt matter how long you know them. Get rid and live a happy life. Ghost them and no wedding invites as you will have to prioritize who supports you and respects you.

Evaka · 08/08/2026 14:08

Wow, your friends are hideously basic. Congrats OP - that sounds like a gorgeous proposal x

Xiaoxiong · 08/08/2026 14:08

My DH proposed in the kitchen as I was making nachos wrapped in a bath towel!! Married for 16 years so far and going strong. Your proposal sounds absolutely wonderful to me and very romantic 🥰

BeKhakiReader · 08/08/2026 14:08

Sounds lovely to me. If you think your friends are worth it, I’d tell them they’ve upset you and give them chance to apologise.

QGMum · 08/08/2026 14:06

Congratulations on your engagement. Your fiancé sounds lovely while your friends sound horrid. These people are not really your friends.

JMSA · 08/08/2026 14:05

Aww, that’s horrible of them. Fuck ‘em.

Congratulations. Focus on your own happiness and your own life. Something is missing from theirs, for them to act like that.

Crushed23 · 08/08/2026 14:05

Haven’t RTFT, but my proposal went as follows:

Me: I fucking hate my fucking job.
DH: Why don’t you leave?
Me: I can’t, I’m on a motherfucking visa. If I leave my job I’ll be deported.
DH: Then let’s get married for fuck’s sake.
Me: Yeah okay.

Who said romance was dead? ☠️

Blueseudeshoes · 08/08/2026 14:05

they aren’t friends! How mean

congrats on your wonderful news✨🥂 my engagement ring was bought in a pawn shop in the middle of greece last minute, also on the smaller side as my husband felt he was missing the perfect time with our children to do it! I’ve since had a much more expensive one bought for me but my favourite will always always be my first ring. Its not about having something to show off, its the love behind it

fishfingergermanbight · 08/08/2026 14:04

They are not your friends! Congratulations to you and your nice fiancé.

TheGander · 08/08/2026 14:04

Your friends sound very materialistic and probably should spend less time on TikTok and Insta. Marriage is not an episode of Made in Chelsea or some other stupid show. It is for the log run, and often not all that glamorous.

Trishthedish · 08/08/2026 14:04

BeanQuisine · 08/08/2026 13:48

Sounds OK to me. Probably best not to turn a proposal into an elaborate song and dance, in case of rejection.

One boyfriend proposed to me over a candlelit dinner at a very expensive restaurant. Luckily we'd reached the dessert stage, as my apologetic "no" rather put a damper on things.

He was despondent and no longer wanted his chocolate torte, so I ate it.

Can’t let chocolate torte go to waste 😂

Yetone · 08/08/2026 14:04

OP, this is between your fiancé and you. Just ignore these people. Large, showy SM engagements are so fake. We had a very low key engagement and I had no ring ( my choice) but what I have is over 40 years of a wonderful marriage where we have supported each other and are still just as much in love.
Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.

Thelonelyshrew · 08/08/2026 14:03

I think that’s really lovely and your friends str being really bitchy!

Congratulations x

seanconneryseyebrow · 08/08/2026 14:03

That is exactly the kind of proposal I would love - and tbh even the wedding I would want to be just us, and simple with zero planning.

I think it was adorable. Most important thing is what do you think? Sounds like he knows you very well and did the proposal he knew YOU would like - which means he nailed it.

Congrats OP.

macaroon8 · 08/08/2026 14:03

He sounds sooooooo sweet and excited. Your 'friends' however seem like twats. Don't let them spoil your moment

It sounds like such a great proposal, even if you were in your PJs!

Frazzledmum123 · 08/08/2026 14:02

Let me guess, these 'friends' are very into Instagram and showing off? Seems to be a thing these days that important moments have to be insta ready to matter. Now I love photos, I love the memories they bring back and take loads (for me) but even I didn't care my husband's proposal wasn't caught on camera with me looking like I'd just stepped out a magazine. I had my hair in pigtails and big comfy clothes on and its still my most romantic memory ever that I wouldn't change for the world. Congratulations, ignore your friends. Sounds like a perfect and very authentic proposal to me

Error404FucksNotFound · 08/08/2026 14:01

Your friends are twats

Didimum · 08/08/2026 14:01

These people are not your friends.