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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

407 replies

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
Shudacudawuda · Yesterday 13:26

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:51

I was so excited to tell them, we’ve been friends since we were in primary school!

my boyfriend asked what they said when I came back, all excited, so I said they said it was really sweet. Because I didn’t want him to be sad.

he is incredibly happy about it, and keeps pointing out the road where it happened “that’s where I said I love you for the first time and asked you to be my wife” 😭

Aw he sounds like a romantic guy who has listened to your wishes and still managed to turn the 'low key' proposal he knew you'd prefer into a romantic special one.
Congratulations 🎊 , ignore your mean 'friends'

viques · Yesterday 13:25

I think your proposal sounds sweet. Thoughtfully he deliberately chose a place that was meaningful to both of you, surprised you and made the whole thing into a charming story to tell at your wedding, and to tell your children and grandchildren in the future.

Congratulations, he sounds like a keeper.

Lorrymum · Yesterday 13:25

Congratulations! I love a romantic proposal story. I have been married for almost 50 years and it is a standing joke that neither of us can remember a proposal in any shape or form.
Those people are really not your friends.

likeitshard · Yesterday 13:24

At best they were tactless at worst they are nasty and not good friends. If they do anything else I would stop talking look at them and say “did you mean to be so rude?” Then carry on. If that doesn’t put them in their place you maybe need a conversation about why they can’t be happy for you.

Purplecatshopaholic · Yesterday 13:24

Jeezo op. You need new friends. These are not friends, they are jealous bitches. Congrats on your engagement.

tomato22 · Yesterday 13:24

With friends like those who needs enemies. They should have just kept their opinions to themselves.

Congratulations, it seems to me like your fiance did put a lot of thought into it despite it not being his intial idea. Much better than the cliché restaurant or similar!

MrsPottscloset · Yesterday 13:24

It was a beautiful proposal. Your friends clearly spend too much time on Instagram watching fake staged proposals. You're happy that's all that matters.

WonderingAboutThus · Yesterday 13:23

Keep the guy, forget the friends.

Googlelafy · Yesterday 13:23

The spot he proposed to you was special to you. Enjoy your engagement with your thoughtful fiancée and ignore the begrudgers.

DoloresAbernathy · Yesterday 13:22

Sounds like a perfect proposal, love and marriages are real not fantasy films! Enjoy your lives together!

M103 · Yesterday 13:22

Your need better friends!

Zanatdy · Yesterday 13:22

Your friends are idiots, sounds perfect to me.

fiorentina · Yesterday 13:21

They sound bitchy and not true friends.
Not sure how old you all
are but they sound immature and perhaps jealous.
Congratulations!

NZDreaming · Yesterday 13:21

@UpShitsCreek i was proposed to in my pjs and it was perfect.

Carryitjoyfully · Yesterday 13:20

Congratulations! That's very thoughtful and romantic of him. Your friends are horrid.

topcat2014 · Yesterday 13:20

At least you will save some money on wedding invites :)

I proposed on a wet beach in Wales on the last day of a washout of a bank holiday weekend.

Life does not all have to be insta friendly

Sartre · Yesterday 13:19

Well they’re not friends obviously. They sound like insufferable fools who spend their lives on Instagram and TikTok.

category12 · Yesterday 13:19

Your "friends" suck.

user85642879067 · Yesterday 13:19

Congrats! It sounds a lovely engagement and as it should be not some daft insta worthy performance. He thought about what you’d like and therefore must know you well.
Your friends sound mean and spiteful, cross them off the bridesmaid list!

Deadringer · Yesterday 13:19

His proposal was thoughtful and heartfelt, your friends are being dickheads! So many people seem to have staged and performative proposals now, i know a few people who had 'surprise' proposals on the eiffel tower, on top of the empire state building etc, in each case they had already decided to get married and had already picked the ring. Congratulations op.

99victoria · Yesterday 13:18

My husband proposed to me in bed! Not in the throes of romantic passion either 😂We'd gone away for the weekend for my birthday, been out for a nice romantic birthday meal at a lovely restaurant, come back to the hotel and we were sitting in bed reading when he just turned round and asked me. He didn't even have a ring. I was wearing an oversized t-shirt and no make-up 😂We went out and bought the ring the next day.

We've been happily married for 15 years now. I'm another one who thinks performative proposals are ridiculous. No photos captured our 'special moment'. The only photo I have is the photo of my hand with the ring the following day which I sent to my mum 😊

Wishimaywishimight · Yesterday 13:18

I never fail to be surprised at what is considered to be friendship on here. These women are not friends. If they were they would be happy because you are happy. Don't dwell on them, they are not worth it.

Btw, congratulations!

parkezvous · Yesterday 13:18

jay55 · Yesterday 12:47

They’re not really friends are they, trying to bring you down at your happiest.

Exactly this. Not everything needs to be curated for social media. Congratulations OP! It sounds like it was perfect.

Shinyandnew1 · Yesterday 13:17

Why would posters be wondering about a visa?! Everyone is too busy thinking how horrible your friends are!

Ileithyia · Yesterday 13:16

They are not your friends.

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