AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

Some of the replies are hilarious from the people saying there's more to it, demanding to know your history, why don't you have DSC with you etc. FFS. OP has given all relevant details.

OP do not leave your holiday. She is trying to dictate your life and holiday. Any reasonable person wouldn't do this.

Assume = making things up to fit my own narrative

He lives a good distance away because their mother moved.

OP and the children's father are trying to move closer to the father's older children.

I would think that them living a distance away precludes 50/50 due to keeping the children in school - prioritising their education (perhaps you don't value education so this wouldn't be important to you)

Amen.

The voice of common sense (there has not been much common sense on this thread).

You really are nosey aren't you? What has this to do with the mother's childcare issues?

It might be unusual, but it does happen. It happened between my ex SIL and ex BIL (my ex’s brother). She started an affair with a colleague when their youngest was about 12 weeks old.

She’s married to OM now and they have a child together. Ex BIL is also with someone else and has 2 kids with her. A lot of kids and a lot of chaos for me, but it worked out for them.

Sorry to derail your thread, OP. YANBU, by the way - the ex wife needs to sort childcare during her time with the kids and is massively unreasonable to expect you to deprive your own kids of a holiday because of her inability to plan.

I doubt she’d do the same for you.

did you miss the bit where I said my personal view? You know, the comment you replied to all uppety?😆🤣

None of your business. It's to do with his ex being awkward and not arranging proper child care.

None of this is any of our business and it's irrelevant to the question the OP has asked. You're just trying to goad her into saying something, anything, that you and others like you, will use to then crucify her for her decisions. She and her partner are behaving in an eminently sensible way in regards to how they are treating both their children and her step children. The step-children's mother is the one who needs calling out, not this woman.

What a ridiculous statement “if their dad is on holiday they should be with him”!
Sounds like OP and her husband are doing a great job with being fair to all of the children, especially with the flaky first wife!
Parents are entitled to do things in life regardless of including their children, first or second set!
Blended families are tricky but they don’t have to do EVERYTHING with ALL of the children at the same time.
Madness.
Well done, OP, you sound kind and generous but you absolutely should protect this holiday with your children. Ignore the disorganised (and thieving?) first wife.
Her problem.

And who is either too disorganised to sort out childcare, or manipulative enough to pull this stunt deliberately so she can keep the money?

I'm assuming the reason ops husband gave the mum money to organise childcare is because the holiday falls during the brief spell of time he sees his children. Why is it their mother's job to organise that? If it's during his time it's his job.

I actually think he's feckless and she's petty. (Their mother) And I absolutely feel for the kids. But she has them 20/30 days of the month and it's sounds like 6/8 weeks of the summer holiday if op had them for 1 week and they've paid for childcare while away. I imagine she's pretty busy comparatively.

Dunno, find it hard to blame the parent who is actually there with them

If I was a parent seeing my child 10 days a month, and I was concerned about the welfare of my children, I might have been motivated by now to go for at least 50/50.

The father hasn’t though

@Velumental @Itchysidefoot yet another 2 posters who show no concern for the welfare of 2 children whose mother has failed them yet again.
As @PinkEasterbunny said, the worst.

@UnhealthierWhy good luck. Your step children are lucky to have you. Stepping up to take responsibility when their own mother does not.

@UnhealthierWhy

I want to agree with the previous poster. I am shocked at the way you are being criticized. I thought it was just that I am older than many on MN. OP it sounds like you are dealing with nonsense from this ex. I would not switch your phone off, I just would not answer. Have a lovely trip - must be hot though!

And just to add - this is MN at its worst, the OP asks a question about a specific issue, then everyone starts pulling peripheral issues to pieces

Why is any of this relevant to OP's question about returning early from her holiday?

I dunno there's lots of withholding negative information here.

Why is it any of your business?

Absolutely this. They have all been to Disney!

What does any of that matter? They are evidently together 5ish years given the age of their eldest child so it's obviously a serious relationship. Perhaps longer than his first marriage.

You were friends for years

and “the relationship moved very quickly”

Yes, I can just imagine it did

ps were you also friend with his wife at the time?

Oh really. How interesting.

Did you work together?

Your eldest child and youngest stepchild, is the gape more or less than 2 years?

How soon after the split did you start dating?

I dunno there's lots of withholding negative information here.

Don't give them any more info OP. Hope you're enjoying your holiday.

Do not come home, enjoy your holiday. Ive read all your responses and the ex is taking the %£#@. You've done nothing wrong, ignore her.

@UnhealthierWhy will you stop trying to explain your relationship and holiday history to the baiters. You will.never satisfy their need to try and blame you and your husband.
Just ignore them and ignore the ex.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday guilt free.
Hopefully the selfish mother will start prioritising her children. She has no excuse for her lack of care and planning for them.