AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

Maybe they go another time with their dad. Really not relevant to this situation.

I think it’s more to do with the fact the guy decided to get his new girlfriend pregnant when he had two toddlers with his ex. Four kids by two women in the space of 6 years is crazy behaviour. OP is a bit weird to think a man with two toddlers is an exciting prospect, but then to get pregnant almost straight away by him too…

What has she done with the money your husband have her? He should ask for that back.

The facts are in the numbers, ages in this case.
If OP is to be believed that the ex is flaky and unorganised, then he has done a disservice by his children (first set).
They should have been the priority not making another two.

We will agree to disagree.

You don’t have step children. It’s easy to say when it’s not your reality. I used to think it was funny that people felt guilty leaving their dogs behind until they had my own. Now I hate leaving her behind.

It's really not, you want to believe that without all the facts because it's easy for you to judge and put people down.

I don't have to agree with you as much as you don't have to agree with me, so not sure why you're so bothered.

What i said isnt bullying.
And i stand by it.

I know I’d be a shit SM hence why I never will be

I would tread over a step child to reach my own child on the event of an emergency!

I wouldn’t ever feel guilty about going on holiday without my step kids. They aren’t my children. In fact i would probably be delighted!!

but my word… I would feel guilty, upset and generally felt like I was missing something - if I didn’t go on holiday with my 6 and 8 year old as well as my other two.

But clearly many are better people than me and easily able to think of their step children as their own

We do know he is irresponsible he has 4 children, 8,6,4,2 between two mothers. That’s the definition of irresponsible.
If the ex wife had another two babies by a different man she would be irresponsible too, but she didn’t. He made that decision. Selfish.

No I didn't, but thanks for your ever so valuable input.

Well the other choice, is the man doesn't go on holiday with his younger child.

I book and pay for the trips with my child that I want to go on because it suits them, and my teenage SC would not want to go on these trips anyway. DH has the choice and free will not to come if his children are going to be offended (which, they never are) but then he would miss out on spending that time with his youngest.

But I suppose that is okay, because we are the second family and we don't count for anything at all.

Would they though ..?

Phones on silent in the bottom of a bag doesn’t scream responsible father.

But they have another parent, who already has time off work. Their father.

Her responsibility if she forgot to sort childcare but bet those kids are sad they didnt get to go disneyland with dad and siblings.

So the second family kids don’t go on holiday at all because taking them all is unaffordable ? Why does this not also apply to mum and her current partner ? She may not be related to OP’s kids herself but they are half siblings to her own children. The older two had a holiday in Spain with their mum and her partner - why were the younger two not invited along ? Surely the principle is the same if we’re talking about fairness.

I have already mentioned on here but adding again: I am one of four, no step siblings and my parents regularly split us up for things to suit different ages or even interests. It was totally normal and actually lots of their friends did it.

It was mostly mini breaks but did include a couple of bigger holidays. None of us had any lasting resentment or complex of being left out of family.

FFS ... he took his older 2 for their own trip to Disneyland so they could do what they wanted to do without the younger ones. This is the 'reverse' trip.

Read.The.OP's.Posts.

This is untrue, I'd say a father who has kids from more than 1 relationship needs to making fair choices and with a small age gap this choice doesn't seem fair. A man who can go to Disney and leave his 6 and 8 yr old at home is not a man I'd want in my life.

I don’t have step children. I am referring to step children within my family group. Some where the parent is my relative and some where the step parent is my relative. All treated like fully fledged members of the family unit and taken on holiday with their siblings.

You had too many kids then.

The horrible answers towards the poster regarding why older kids aren't on holiday .. that she is the OW bad stepmother...
GROW UP BITTER WOMEN
The older kids had a Disney holiday last year they give money for childcare which wasn't used.. they're taking all kids away later on in year I can't stand the way people judge before they know answers .
And yes she is and entitled to a holiday with HER own children just the 4 of them .. op enjoy your holiday with your kids the ex sounds like a pain in the arse and needs to sort herself out good on you for saying no its a full sentence.
Her ringing you constantly says it all she doesn't like the word no she got to used to yes think about that one and change accordingly x

Agreed .. pathetic answer obviously bitter.

Stick to your guns the answer is no ... the cheek of her .
No you are not leaving your holiday early she needs talking too and telling if this happens again she won't even get the money for childcare.
She just doesn't want to look after her children .

That means that the DSC never get focused time away with their DF. How is this better than a mix of trips where everyone’s needs are always compromised?
Unless you meant that DSC should still get time with Dad, it’s just OPs DC who aren’t allowed…?
My DH has been on short trips with our 7 year old and his 14 year old this summer - they all had a fab time, different ages and interests catered for etc. Our 3 year old was not in attendance, he was having a lovely time having his mummy to himself.
Your moral charge for “equality means the exact same all the time” would have ruined all the kids summers 🫠