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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

664 replies

UnhealthierWhy · 08/08/2026 12:20

This is not our problem ???

We are on holiday currently with our 2 dc (2 and 4) (Disney Paris) due back home on Wednesday. Dh has 2 older dc from previous marriage (6 and 8).

He gave his ex money for holiday childcare which she ‘forgot’ to book the first week so I had to look after dc which was fine as dh had work. Next week her mum was going to have the dc but is now unwell. She is telling dh he needs to come home early to have the dc as she can’t take the time off.

She is constantly messaging and calling and we are considering just turning our phones off if she continues pestering us this way.

This seems to be a regular thing with her not arranging childcare and then expecting us to rescue the situation which we try to accomodate if we can but this is the first time we’ve said no.

OP posts:
Cannedlaughter · 08/08/2026 12:30

You don’t end your holiday early but I don’t understand why the children aren’t with you. That’s sad.

knottywig · 08/08/2026 12:30

She’s a grown adult, she can sort it out herself. Also how much money did your DH give her to sort out childcare- did you get half back for the week you looked after kids. Switch of your phones and check once a day, she’s trying to ruin your holiday. Possibly because she deems you as the home wrecker. Also why didn’t you take the other 2 with you to Disney? Surely they would have enjoyed it too?

Original poster
UnhealthierWhy · 08/08/2026 12:29

Moonnstarz · 08/08/2026 12:25

Sounds like she is annoyed he didn't take his older kids with you (was there a reason for this?).

I don't really understand why DH gives her money to pay for childcare. Especially knowing she is flakey. Next time I think he should book it himself then he knows it's done and she can't try making excuses about forgetting.

She is flakey yes and disorganised. But we help for extra things as we genuinely don’t mind helping. Although next time I think dh will book it to make sure it gets done. It’s a little frustrating that we have to think about childcare when it’s not our days but we wanted to help.

OP posts:
Original poster
UnhealthierWhy · 08/08/2026 12:28

2dogsandabudgie · 08/08/2026 12:24

Stay firm and do not go back early. She will have to sort out other childcare. Switch your phones off during the day and ignore all messages.

This is the first time we haven’t helped. Even the first week of the holidays she had asked for more money to book holiday club which was fine then she didn’t book it and there were no places left. So I had them to help as dh was working too. I think she’s got used to us always saying yes and now she has got furious as expects a yes this time .

OP posts:
Original poster
UnhealthierWhy · 08/08/2026 12:26

MatildaTheCat · 08/08/2026 12:24

Very manipulative behaviour. Switch off phones and have fun.

Only caveat would be if she was likely to put the children at risk if you don’t obey her and run home early. Have the older children had a holiday?

Yes she took them with her partner to Spain this year in May half term, last year dh took them himself to Disney Paris. At the end of of August we are taking all 4 dc for 4 days for a uk beach break.

OP posts:
Moonnstarz · 08/08/2026 12:25

Sounds like she is annoyed he didn't take his older kids with you (was there a reason for this?).

I don't really understand why DH gives her money to pay for childcare. Especially knowing she is flakey. Next time I think he should book it himself then he knows it's done and she can't try making excuses about forgetting.

Kingdomofsleep · 08/08/2026 12:25

Lots of options of holiday childcare round me is available to book short notice. I'd be surprised she couldn't find any.

I'd tell her you'd come back early if she pays you the full cost of the Disney land holiday so you can book another one to make up for her ruining this one

Edit - and next time you can take all 4 kids, everyone wins

Changingforthisone66 · 08/08/2026 12:25

She sounds like a chaotic nightmare but it's not the children's fault. Poor kids.

AndrewPreview · 08/08/2026 12:24

What are the custody arrangements like normally?

Why aren't his older children on holiday with you?

B1anche · 08/08/2026 12:24

Don't cut short your holiday. This is all her making. She will have to sort it out herself. I wonder if she would be so keen to abandon her holiday if the tables were turned.

2dogsandabudgie · 08/08/2026 12:24

Stay firm and do not go back early. She will have to sort out other childcare. Switch your phones off during the day and ignore all messages.

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 08/08/2026 12:24

Basically sounds like she wants to ruin your holiday! Is she paying for the early return journey she expects?

MatildaTheCat · 08/08/2026 12:24

Very manipulative behaviour. Switch off phones and have fun.

Only caveat would be if she was likely to put the children at risk if you don’t obey her and run home early. Have the older children had a holiday?

itispersonal · 08/08/2026 12:22

She needs to take carers/special leave to look after her children. She can’t expect you to leave your holiday early because she messed up.