AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

Lucky you if you've never dealt with a PITA ex. it's not as simple as "we'll take the older DC's too" You think she wouldn't be awkward about that too??

Are you asking because your DP is considering doing this and you are pissed off with him and how he handles his ex?

Switch off your phones and enjoy your holiday! DH made provision beforehand for childcare, not your responsibility to jump through hoops for her.

Given what a pain their mother is being can you imagine the fuss she'd make about OP and DH having them outside their allocated time? It's not as easy as just including them if one parent is always all about the drama.

OP I'd get DH to send one last message saying that you've given your answer and no further response will be made. And book the arrangements yourselves from now on with a specific note to any organisers that only DH can alter or cancel them once booked not the ExW.

I did! And I still think they are bloody unreasonable to leave a 6 and 8 year old behind! People telling me to read when they can’t!

I think she feels bitter he moved on and got someone else pregnant a year after their baby was born.

They took the older two last year separately...

RTFT. He took the other 2 to Disney separately so they can do older child things like rides, without the younger 2’s need for naps and small children activities.

This is ridiculous. As long as all DC get similar opportunities there is no reason they all have to do everything together.

She has options.
Take AL, take emergency leave etc
Ask her Dp to take leave
Talk to her friends with similar aged kids - we had a network of local friends and would take kids for a day to cover this sort of thing
Call the holiday clubs and see if they have a cancellation
Hope her Mum gets better

To be super helpful could your DH do Thu / Fri after you get back?

But no, YANBU to not cut short your holiday.

I wouldn’t be cutting my holiday short no. But as a parent of DC from different relationships (all grown up now) not a chance i’d go to Disney without 2, especially when they are 6 & 8yrs old. I’d feel awful and could not do it. Maybe men are different. Would you go to Disney with only some of your bio kids if you split and went on to have more kids?

Anyone else wonder what women like this (the ex, not the OP) do with themselves once the kids involved are too old to be used as weapons against the other parent?

I can understand why you're frustrated, especially if this keeps happening. But I’d be careful about switching off completely, as there are children involved. It’s reasonable to enjoy your holiday while still making sure the childcare situation is properly dealt with between the adults.

Agreed, seems suspicious to me too.

Not only did she cheat on him when her baby was under a year old, but also during lockdown...!

1/ not relevant to my point
2/ I wasn't referring just to you. There are loads insane similar comments. I'm not married and our only kids are with each other.
3/ Good for them but what's it got to do with this thread? Perhaps they can afford to take 4 kids abroad more easily or are better with coping with 4 young kids all at once.

4/ Who says DH 'isn't happy' about taking all his kids at the same time? It could just be for practical reasons (see point 3).

In any case, none of this relevant to OP's query. You clearly just wanted to pass judgement on OP and her DH.

They are missing out on this holiday though. If their dad is on holiday, then they should be with him imo. Saying that they want time just their own kids and them is so sad. I was an older stepchild too. It fucking sucks. Poor kids.

I agree it’s annoying but they’re his children.
If it were your kids, for some reason, would you come back for them?
I bet you would.

She cheated on him when she had a newborn? That seems unusual

Well this is a mess. How did he find himself in a situation where he was having a baby with someone a year after his youngest was born? They also should have come on the holiday with you. If they were teens then perhaps I could see why they wouldn’t get as much out of it but they’re prime age.

Well if you read my post you’d see I said regardless if they’d been before so …. Less of the sarky of you read the thread maybe.

Well done @UnhealthierWhy . You shouldn't have had to explain but the sneaky barbs towards you from some of those replying needed answering. They should apologise but of course they won't.
You switch your phones off. Let her sort her childcare out. It is clear her children are not her top priority as this is clearly not her first rodeo at neglecting their needs. She should be grateful to have you and their Dad there to bail her out. Time she had to learn some responsibility. Time too for you to set very clear boundaries. The children deserve better.

The wife cheated and moved away- she’d have some nerve thinking of the op as a home wrecker?

they took them to Disney earlier, just the older two. If you read the thread.

Your DH had your DC1 (his DC3) when his DC2 was 2 years old?
Wow!