AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

It is when you're 8 and you're pissed off with everthing arranged around the 2 and 4 year old!

Since when is 2 4 6 8 a really big age difference?

Can you get past him not taking the younger ones last year when he took the 6 and 8 year old?

Wtf? I can totally understand the op not wanting this. I wouldn’t in her shoes.

But the DP?.. good grief no

And that’s you’re prerogative of course.

Made me laugh out loud 😂

I generally take statistically very rare over what the new partner has been told was the cause of the breakdown

I think that if you assume that an awful lot of the replies are from shit stirring contrarians or illogical dimwits you have your answer.

There we are OP. Cut and dried. Your DH’s ex is making life difficult for you, so your best option is to cave to her demands. Got that ?!!

You missed the first phrase, “my personal view”. That might not be your personal view, but that’s how opinions work, shocker!

That’s still not a reason to suppose the same thing is happening here despite being told it’s not.

I can 100% understand why the OP and her husband don’t want four children of very different ages and stages at Disney. I think it’s unfair to berate her for this. It’s always going to be difficult getting a ‘perfect’ holiday in a blended family, there’s always going to be a compromise somewhere.

I think DH needs to just book something, though.

This is what I have difficulty with. Their mum can go on holiday with her partner and two bio kids without their two half siblings and that’s fine. But woe betide their dad doing what amounts to the same thing. Yes, we know mum isn’t related to the two younger kids but her children are. Why does it work for one and not the other ?

Because it's statistically very very rare, especially during the postpartum phase. It sounds more like a story a narcissist would make up about his "crazy ex" and obviously you can say that about anyone and immediately garner sympathy points.

Most women move out after being abused or emotionally manipulated. Every single real life case we've heard of with the mum moving away shortly after having a baby, even if she did have an affair or did other things, there was still abhorrent behaviour from the man involved.

You are so right, it could be financial, so much better to choose between which kids to take than go on a cheaper holiday with them all. I mean nothing like the feeling kids get when they are told “not taking you on holiday this time because I want time at Disney with my new family only”. I personally think anyone who excludes the original children are arseholes, no matter how the marriage broke down. Also the original, cheating, wife could still see OP as a home wrecker if she believed she could win the husband back. Hence the trying to ruin their holiday. Though personally, I believe , if you’re cheated on, you shouldn’t go back. Before you jump to to more conclusions, as you seem to be good at, I am not from a broken family either. I also jumped to the conclusion that op was the other women due to the kids ages, for that I’m sorry to OP. It was that or the other conclusion, which was that the OP’s DH’s first marriage broke down so he found the next wife as soon as he could to look after his original children, so he didn’t have to do it alone! Adieu!

Yes this doesn't make sense on many levels. It would not have been physically possible for a post-partum mum to be dating and cheating during the lockdown?

Someone is clearly telling a lot of porkies, either your DH or you to the posters here.

If he normally has the children for that week, how is it her job to arrange the cc? Why didn't he do it?

What’s so hard to believe about a woman having an affair and leaving ?

I literally know of several dads and mums who have done this for a variety of reasons.

🤷‍♀️

But he gave his ex money to ensure that HIS CHILDREN were minded.

So it doesn’t add up that a woman would have an affair and leave?

I guess I also just don't really believe he took his two kids to Disneyland on their own. It's not really congruent with his other behaviour.

The story doesn't add up.

If the DC weren't so close in age it might.

I have a feeling that OP was a homeowner and keen to start a family when she met her DH.

I agree. The vipers are out again, I see. Picking apart everything (they assume, read: makeup) about OP’s life when all she wanted to know was whether she was being unreasonable regarding wanting to switch their phones off and ignore the ex wife.

My husband and his son came as a package deal. My SS is 14, our kids together are 2 and under. DH & SS have gone on two European trips this year geared towards SS interests. We have done one UK and one Irish weekend trips with the younger kids in the last 12 months without SS because he'd absolutely hate having to cater towards the babies.

Whether biological or not... the age gap means this us the best scenario for us. Which also appears to be the same for the OP.