AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

Nope her husbands/partners children are not hers and she deserves to do nice things with her own children.
She takes them all on holiday together tk so they aren't missing out and probably get more holidays between the 2 adult couples than a nuclear family would.
I was a step child and didnt expect to be at every single event that either of my parents did.

Enjoy the remainder of your holiday and leave their mothers to parent her children, this is not your problem ..

I dont understand why they would be? They aren't her kids?
They deserve some time as their family unit.

I was also a step sibling ( father had a further 2 families) I had no expectation or issue with not being included on all of his family hols only some, we were different ages etc and enjoyed the times we did have together

They had their own trip to Disney with their Dad last year, when they would have his full attention.

If you go back, you are setting yourself up for ten more years of this.

I’m just astounded that your husband has gone to Disneyland Paris and left two of his children behind. What a horrible way to treat them. It’s not even like they’re too old for it.

Surely if they had all the holidays with dad ...and obviously also the holidays with mum then they would have double the holidays of the other children so not missing out at all !

It’s entirely unreasonable to expect a family to leave their holiday to sort out her lack of childcare. She must have other options - partner, friends, kids friends, other relatives, calling in sick if she can’t take dependents or emergency leave.

phones off now

Why didnt you include his children in your holiday? Seems incredibly mean spirited

Oh what a pity you are in a bad reception area/have forgotten your phone charger/phone is lost or mislaid. I have got off with saying I took another phone with me as the one I have does not accept international calls.

Its also true that this Mum is having to coordinate at least 2/3 of childcare across summer holidays whilst she works. So what is described as "her" time is mostly like not a fair share

She made this mess she needs to sort it out. Just like all other responsible parents do.

I don't normally agree with step parenting threads, she is being bonkers.

I do not agree with you admitting you don't want them included on ALL holidays. They were there before YOU. Regardless of if their mother cheated or not.

No, l wouldnt in these circumstances. She needs to organise herself better. I also get a vibe of sabotage off her

Absolutely no way are you cutting short your holiday!! Your husband gave her money to book childcare so what's she done with that

Men can’t win, can they? If they have a 50/50 arrangement, they get accused of trying to get of maintenance but any less than 50% attracts criticism too

I do kind of think ‘turn your phone off’ is a 2006 answer.

You’ll want to take photos and videos, pay for things, check your bank balance, check in with one another (where are you / over by the ice cream stall) sort of thing.

Is there anyone else that she can contact if there is a genuine emergency who can then contact you?

You could then allow this person to get through when you put your phone on do not disturb.

I would not go home she’s kept the money for childcare I presume.
she can take the time off or look for a childminder if the play centres are full. I would not let her manipulate me, trying to emotionally blackmail you because of the children.

I knew a woman who not only had an affair when her three children were aged six, four and two, she went on a musical tour with her husband and arranged for her lover to go along to be one of the other people involved in that tour, and waited until they were in Germany, and had a dozen more gigs he couldn't avoid, to tell her husband that she was moving out of his bed and into that of the roadie and would not be coming back to the marital home at the end of the tour. She dumped all three children shortly afterwards and her husband brought them up on his own; at least he managed to hang onto the house he'd paid for. (A lot of their friends rallied round and helped him, to be fair, because he needed to earn enough to pay for their keep. He succeeded. My hat was off to him, many times.)

Some women are not very nice people. Sometimes the men they are with are nicer than they are. I know this is hard to credit, but it's true.

What a star.

My personal view is that your husband came as a package deal, which you knew about when you got together with him, whether that was whilst he was married or not. You shouldn’t be excluding them from any holiday whether they went last year or not. So I think both you and your DH are BU!

Well that’s your opinion, and you’re entitled to it, but it’s not the point of the thread.

I think it’s a good point. I think people who have a number of children that’s more than 2 sometimes forget to look at the difference between the youngest and eldest rather than just each “step” between the children.