AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

Also not a single mum, happily married to the father of my DC but even I think it’s batshit for a woman to think a man with two toddlers at home is an attractive proposition. Not even just that but to get pregnant a year after his youngest child with another woman was born! Soooo many child free single men out there but OP wanted this guy?

Also think it’s fine to do separate things with kids when there’s a huge age gap. If she met him and his kids were much older then fair enough if they didn’t want to come to Disney. And yes he took them last year alone, they should still be invited on this trip.

I highly doubt it. That's not how the mind of 6 and. 8 year olds work. Plus a year is a lifetime for kids that young.

But there is only a very small age gap between these 4 children. The older two won't be big enough are for the big rides anyway.
The older two are still very young and are probably the perfect age for Disney. The 2 year old isn't going to get very much out of it.

Bonding time for them, money , logistics, lots of reasons. I get to enjoy time with my other dd.
it’s a holiday! Since when is a trip abroad (or in the uk) a matter of such importance? It’s a few days of fun , nothing else.

It's probably tempered by their holiday with him last year.

Doesn't make it not disgusting

Last yr they were 1 and 3, too young to understand, that's different to leaving a 6 and 8 yr old home

He’s a guy , you know very well that man don’t treat their children the same way women do. If they did there wouldn’t be so many men leaving their wives and kids for other women , often choosing to parent their new stepkids over their own dc. Just to keep the new partner happy.

Well it does seem to be a bit shitty to carry on holidaying with family #2 while your kids from family #1 are in need of childcare. But I see you think you/DH balance this by having some holidays with all kids and he has some with only the older ones.

He should have booked the childcare himself if she's pulled this kind of thing before.

His options now are to

1. Tell her he isn't coming back and she will need to take unpaid leave or emergency childcare leave or pull in however many favours she can from friends until he is back or
2. He leaves a day/few days early to look after his older kids and you stay on for the rest of your planned holiday

Given there's not huge age gaps between the kids then him using his leave to go on holiday with all his kids in future might be worth reconsidering.

i wonder how the kids feel about it when their dad takes his new family to Disney land and leaves them behind.

Are they very small kids, ages 2-8 like the ones in the op?

Yes! I was expecting them to be teenagers.

She said he tookk them last year for a 'totally different Disney trip all about rides' but the youngest would have been 5, a year older than her oldest. 2,4,6and8 yr olds would absolutely all be able to enjoy a similar Disney trip.

Bet the youngest are girls and eldest are boys. But even then we're planning Disney and my 8 yr old claims he's doing the prince thing when little does the princess thing. But even if not it's ridiculous, horrible.

Many people do, so you will have to get over it. One of my daughters is currently on holidays with her aunt , the other is home with me. Believe me everyone is ok , no one developed ptsd from not coming on holidays.

Would you leave YOUR 6 and 8 yr old home and take YOUR 2 and 4 yr old to Disney? You'd be happy doing that? I'm not judging HER, I'm judging HIM that that could sit well with him.

I mean I take the point that if two of the kids are much older it may make sense to do separate trips. But the older kids are 6 and 8, not 16 and 18. They are so close in age. It is insane to me that you wouldn’t take the four of them together.

And yeah I know they went last year and blah blah. I still think it’s unreasonable and mean.

It's genuinely difficult for me to understand how a parent could 'not want to invite' their 2 young children on a trip the were taking to Disneyland. The very idea of going off to do that with other children, I'm looking at my own 8 and 5 yr olds right now and I can't even imagine the callousness. They'd be heartbroken. It's unfathomable that he as a parent could happily do that.

Well, that’s you. Other people do go on holidays without their stepkids. I have 5 kids including sdc and we frequently holiday in smaller groups , leaving others behind. No one has any issues.
stop telling others how they should behave and applying your lens to other people’s choices.

No you shouldn't have to return early. But it's a shame that your husband's two older children are not with you in Disney Land given they are also still very young

Sorry missed the ages, he went to Disney and left a 6 and 8 yr old home? That's horrific behaviour, childcare aside that's horrible parenting. I couldn't leave my kids out, and they are around that age, imagine just having 2 new toddler so being alright leaving them home to go to DISNEY of all places. I can't get my head around how your husband doesn't feel sick with guilt.

Stop asking the OP why she and her husband didn’t invite the older kids to Disney! They said they didn't want to, what’s so difficult to understand.

SHE is their MOTHER but only seems to remember thay fact when demanding money and lying about the purpose. This is MN, I assume she can palm her responsibilities off on the father.