AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

It is. There are six years between the youngest and the oldest. Think about what your average two year old can do developmentally and your average eight year old.

I have a five year old and a three year old and even that small age gap can sometimes feel quite overwhelming. And four children is a lot for anybody.

Just in case there’s an emergency

And the Misandrist of the Year award goes to...

Men have affairs. No shit Sherlock. But to do so they need someone else to have the affair with. Most of the time that will be a woman. Ergo women have affairs too. QED.

And who's to say the affair started during Covid? It may have started before and she was just waiting until she'd had her husband's baby to leave.

Since when is 2 4 6 8 a really big age difference?

Because it's statistically very very rare, especially during the postpartum phase. It sounds more like a story a narcissist would make up about his "crazy ex" and obviously you can say that about anyone and immediately garner sympathy points.

Most women move out after being abused or emotionally manipulated. Every single real life case we've heard of with the mum moving away shortly after having a baby, even if she did have an affair or did other things, there was still abhorrent behaviour from the man involved.

Because it's statistically very very rare, especially during the postpartum phase. It sounds more like a story a narcissist would make up about his "crazy ex" and obviously you can say that about anyone and immediately garner sympathy points.

Most women move out after being abused or emotionally manipulated. Every single real life case we've heard of with the mum moving away shortly after having a baby, even if she did have an affair or did other things, there was still abhorrent behaviour from the man involved.

Since when is 2 4 6 8 a really big age difference?

No I wasnt ok with that …. As previously said above if you read the posts. So “wow” back at ya.

Since when is 2 4 6 8 a really big age difference?

I can’t get past you going to Disney without the 6 and 8 year old! She’s unreasonable to expect you to go back now you are there but not half as unreasonable as you were to go without them regardless of if they went before. They are 6 and 8!

I can 100% understand why the OP and her husband don’t want four children of very different ages and stages at Disney. I think it’s unfair to berate her for this. It’s always going to be difficult getting a ‘perfect’ holiday in a blended family, there’s always going to be a compromise somewhere.

I think DH needs to just book something, though.

I generally take statistically very rare over what the new partner has been told was the cause of the breakdown

I think that if you assume that an awful lot of the replies are from shit stirring contrarians or illogical dimwits you have your answer.

That’s still not a reason to suppose the same thing is happening here despite being told it’s not.

This is what I have difficulty with. Their mum can go on holiday with her partner and two bio kids without their two half siblings and that’s fine. But woe betide their dad doing what amounts to the same thing. Yes, we know mum isn’t related to the two younger kids but her children are. Why does it work for one and not the other ?

I’m guessing there’s more to this story - only 2 years between your oldest and your youngest dsd op? Seems off you don’t have them with you at Disney. 10 days a month is 1/3, enough to fit in a holiday. Your dp is “helping out” or “doing childcare” they are his dc and if his ex is that disordered he needs to consider having majority custody for the kids sake

This is ridiculous. As long as all DC get similar opportunities there is no reason they all have to do everything together.

Because it's statistically very very rare, especially during the postpartum phase. It sounds more like a story a narcissist would make up about his "crazy ex" and obviously you can say that about anyone and immediately garner sympathy points.

Most women move out after being abused or emotionally manipulated. Every single real life case we've heard of with the mum moving away shortly after having a baby, even if she did have an affair or did other things, there was still abhorrent behaviour from the man involved.

Yet you were OK with the elder 2 going to Disney with their father and without the younger 2 last year? Wow.

And you're OK with the 2 elder ones going on holiday to Spain with their mum and her partner without the younger 2 - even though they're siblings? Wow again.

What’s so hard to believe about a woman having an affair and leaving ?

1/ not relevant to my point
2/ I wasn't referring just to you. There are loads insane similar comments. I'm not married and our only kids are with each other.
3/ Good for them but what's it got to do with this thread? Perhaps they can afford to take 4 kids abroad more easily or are better with coping with 4 young kids all at once.

4/ Who says DH 'isn't happy' about taking all his kids at the same time? It could just be for practical reasons (see point 3).

In any case, none of this relevant to OP's query. You clearly just wanted to pass judgement on OP and her DH.

Not only did she cheat on him when her baby was under a year old, but also during lockdown...!