AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

I just don’t know how anyone can go on holiday without 2 of their children :(. That’s really sad.

Maybe he's learned his lesson and will do next time. Call me a cynic but I wonder if she ever had any intention of booking it but wanted the money.

@ojhdddhjs76

Just feels very convenient OP is ticking all the saint boxes (even saving up to move next them god bless her) and the ex all the devil ones. Just all a bit predictable if you ask me.

I know this is a site that's supposed to be supportive of mums but it irks me that there are posters who will not acknowledge that some women can be spiteful. The ex wants her DCs on their birthdays so if it's dad's time to have them she doesn't let them go. She's the one who moved hours away, but apparently it's his fault that he doesn't see them more. There are women out there - yes, really - who absolutely block the ex husband from seeing his kids. (a) They want to get maintenance, which they wouldn't if it was 50/50. And (b) they know it hurts their ex which is even better.

Not every first wife is a saint and not every second wife - or her husband - is a sinner.

BudgetBuster
Have you heard of the concept of a weekend?

So they spend most of each weekend travelling? How peachy for them.

But as we know, they are with the ex for at least a fortnight at a time: "she ‘forgot’ to book the first week so I had to look after dc which was fine as dh had work. Next week her mum was going to have the dc but is now unwell. " Not a five days/two days arrangement, then.

Yeah.... to be fair I never found time to be shagging around with an infant... but then again I was a solo parent so maybe it's different during lock down with a partner and unable to leave the house?

And then get ten days off?
Have you heard of the concept of a weekend?

And then get ten days off? My school didn't work like that, and my children's schools didn't work like that, and since the ex's problem is that the school holidays have happened at her and she can't cope with them I don't think the 6-year-old's and 8-year-old's school (or schools) can either.

If the husband had them during school holidays, this whole thread wouldn't have happened, would it. And they wouldn't have gone to Spain with the ex and her new partner during the May school break.

@MiaKulper Think you replied to the wrong person :-)

Because two sets of kids have 2 sets of parents with different financial circumstances

Because one of those sets of kids has a place in two families and not unreasonably should expect to join in family activities

Because most parents don't go on holiday snd pick and choose which children to take.

HTH

Hi op she’s obviously trying to ruin your holiday this is her mistake so let her get on with it. Make sure your dh asks for a refund for the money that was never used as well. She might even learn from this mistake was probably deliberate I don’t see how you can forget childcare after asking for the money for it. Fuck her she can take unpaid leave if necessary she has to let her employer down instead of her kids.

Well, being 6 & 8, just maybe they have to go to school 20 days a month? Just throwing that out there

A good step mum would expect her husband/partner to treat all his children equally. It's the measure of a good man and a good family.

She'll need to let her work know she needs to take parental leave because she has to watch her own children.

this is her mess, it's a regular event, and some of it seems designed to mess up OP's husband's plans. Stop engaging on it. She needs to sort it.

2 of us were left with a parent or with friends whilst other 2 enjoyed a few days away with parents. It was mostly mini breaks, the only time it was a big holiday was when my parents took older 2 to New York for theatre, museum stuff and the younger 2 enjoyed the same holiday about 4 years later.

My point is not all families work the same and my parents chose to do some separate holidays so I don't perceive it as awful thar other families make that choice blended or not.

if the other 2 had been to Disney last year then yes. Why do 2 kids get 2 holidays but the others only get 1?

but alas I do not have step kids so I don’t need to deal with this BS from women on mums net screaming every child has to be treated equally.

Like a trip to Disney or a lunch date?
As the children get older they should all be brought on the family holiday.

This seems to be a regular thing with her not arranging childcare and then expecting us to rescue the situation which we try to accomodate
That's why she keeps doing it - stop accomodating her! I assure you'll soon stop pulling these stunts when there's no one there to bail her out. If you got plans, you got plans. You're on holiday, she needs to book a babysitter or something.

It’s not a double standard at all. A 1 year old isn’t going to know or care that his/her siblings are at Disney without him/her. An 8 year old absolutely will.

It’s not a simplistic either/or as narrated in your post. There is absolutely nuance. But leaving behind a 6 and 8 year old is not nuance. It’s just crap.

Is her current partner the one she cheated with to end the marriage? What are she and new man doing for her children, she has the money she conned out of the OP's husband to put towards it.

i would not be cutting the holiday short. Separately your partner has little self restraint, he has 4 children under age 8 by two women, knowing that his first set is left in an environment of unorganised chaos.

😂Double standards at its finest! Either all the kids are treated equally and included everytime or they aren’t. That seems to be the narrative on here, but only when it applies to the children being looked after by a biological mother as you’ve just proved!

You can’t get people home from holiday for this! Trip of a lifetime

are you sure she isn’t acting out because you didn’t take the other children?

Because it’s true. OP did know and she made a decision to continue in the relationship knowing that. The ex wife is being a douche, but it doesn’t mean that the op and her DH aren’t utter twats excluding 2 kids, whether they went the year before or not!

Maybe you could take 2 of your children to Disneyland and leave the other 2 out, I definitely couldn't. It's horrible on the part of the dh that he could, happily apparently

Hope she returned the money? Her problem. Enjoy your holiday.

She's gone to Disneyland leaving 2 if her husbands 4 children at home in childcare. That's what it's to do with being a step parent.