AIBU to refuse to cut short our holiday for childcare?

@Velumental @Itchysidefoot yet another 2 posters who show no concern for the welfare of 2 children whose mother has failed them yet again.
As @PinkEasterbunny said, the worst.

@UnhealthierWhy good luck. Your step children are lucky to have you. Stepping up to take responsibility when their own mother does not.

@UnhealthierWhy

I want to agree with the previous poster. I am shocked at the way you are being criticized. I thought it was just that I am older than many on MN. OP it sounds like you are dealing with nonsense from this ex. I would not switch your phone off, I just would not answer. Have a lovely trip - must be hot though!

And just to add - this is MN at its worst, the OP asks a question about a specific issue, then everyone starts pulling peripheral issues to pieces

Why is any of this relevant to OP's question about returning early from her holiday?

I dunno there's lots of withholding negative information here.

Why is it any of your business?

Absolutely this. They have all been to Disney!

What does any of that matter? They are evidently together 5ish years given the age of their eldest child so it's obviously a serious relationship. Perhaps longer than his first marriage.

You were friends for years

and “the relationship moved very quickly”

Yes, I can just imagine it did

ps were you also friend with his wife at the time?

Oh really. How interesting.

Did you work together?

Your eldest child and youngest stepchild, is the gape more or less than 2 years?

How soon after the split did you start dating?

I dunno there's lots of withholding negative information here.

Don't give them any more info OP. Hope you're enjoying your holiday.

Do not come home, enjoy your holiday. Ive read all your responses and the ex is taking the %£#@. You've done nothing wrong, ignore her.

@UnhealthierWhy will you stop trying to explain your relationship and holiday history to the baiters. You will.never satisfy their need to try and blame you and your husband.
Just ignore them and ignore the ex.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday guilt free.
Hopefully the selfish mother will start prioritising her children. She has no excuse for her lack of care and planning for them.

This ridiculous vilification of the OP is completely unfounded.

Time and time again you see this on Mumsnet, and I'd be willing to bet that all those telling the OP she is controlling her husband and that he would have liked all the children on this holiday are the same ones who think that step-children should ALWAYS be prioritised above all else.

Did you not hear her clearly telling you that DP went on holiday last year with his two kids to the same place so that they could enjoy their break without it being impacted by the needs of his youngest two? If this were a different thread, he would be being praised for this. Instead, some of you are finding a way to use it to castigate the OP. The way stepmothers are treated on this site is absolutely appalling.

It isn't ideal when any household separates but, when they do, that then IS the reality for all parties, including the children. Having children who don't live with you full time and others who do is really difficult for everyone concerned but it isn't the job of OP and her DP to pick up the slack for the children's mother when they're on a planned holiday which she knew about, especially when they've already done so without complaint earlier in the summer break.

Actually cannot get my head round the made up BS some of you are spouting about this OP on this thread.

Well yes.

There’s always a chance the thread is a work of fiction.

But based on the facts presented people are judging based on pre conceived bias.

I often think that’s what these threads are posted for. As a social experiment.

But it plays into people hands because it’s always the same script. Blame the SM and dad whatever facts are presented!

Hi, sorry, I’ve reported my post to get it removed - I stupidly didn’t read the full thread from the OP, apologies

I can’t help but read this alleged list this woman with two tiny babies apparently has committed (and now “demanding” the holiday ends, oh and the suggestion she basically has swiped the money given for childcare to spend on herself) and think…. Bull shit

If you read the thread

She cheated on him and it started before she conceived his 2nd child.

In fact his 2nd child’s parentage was in question until a dna check.

She left him while pregnant for the man she was having an affair with.

She moved away.

I don’t see why him getting on with his life is wrong.

Nor why the woman who left him, took his 2 children away and can’t organise childcare he paid for is somehow completely innocent here.

I can’t imagine meeting a man, on an app @UnhealthierWhy ?, finding out he has a very young baby and a young toddler with another woman and thinking…. “Yep, just the man I want to start dating”

If you read the thread… the vast majority are giving the DH, the father of all 4 children, a “bashing”.

And rightfully so IMO

That's a matter of opinion.

She's explained that, and imo it's reasonable.

Ignore the nasty mumsnet anti-stepmum posse. You and DH are doing absolutely the right thing by:

1. taking just the two younger children so that they enjoy age-appropriate offerings. And

1. not cutting short your holiday to accommodate the ex who had all the time and money to organise child care.

Leave it to her and her partner to figure it out. Otherwise you will find yourselves bullied, manipulated and harassed every time she fails to get organised. Whether she did this deliberately to sabotage your holiday, who knows. But she's certainly causing drama and affecting your time in Paris. And if you keep giving way, she'll throw the same tantrum again. And again.

I hope you chose to turn of the phones and enjoy the rest of your trip. You have already helped her out the first week and it sounds like you would do this week if you was home. You’re not and her poor planning isn’t your problem, now would be a great time to say no as if you always say yes, she will continued to be entitled.

I also can’t believe some of the comments you have had on here. To me it sounds like you & DH wanted all 4 children to experience Disneyland Paris but took them separately so that the trip could be tailored to the individual ages! I don’t see anything wrong with that! Nothing wrong with enjoying holidays without the step kids and with them!

I would go as far as to say you are completely unreasonable if you DID go home early!

also I hope she returned the holiday club money!