AIBU to ban a guest over dismissing a severe nut allergy?

Uninvite him. He’s an absolute dick head

That must be a nightmare! Mine are thankfully the main ones - milk and egg so as you say they have to be bold in ingredients lists so are easier to spot.
WTF with orange lollies being coloured with paprika - surely actual orange would be better?! Unless it doesn't give off a suitably orange colour, who knows 😕 Hopefully they list every ingredient. Awful if not, everyone should know what they're eating.

Yes,they came round and because I'd finished with him on the spot,they didn't take it any further

He was standing there sniggering and the doctor & i went mental at him

He really thought it was funny (and he was standing there calling the doctor,to his face,a 'fake quack')

He dragged me through the courts for contact and they didn't give a fuck-gave him 3 hours contact (unsupervised) every other Saturday (against the advice of ss) but he was shit scared of my father and brothers who made it very clear 'give her those buttons again,we will kill you'

He didn't but I was so frightened he would but then he lost interest after a few weeks and stopped seeing her (all my fault-i stopped him apparently)

Sod the men in my family,I would have swung for him if he'd done it again

He sounds like a fucking psychopath. I can't believe that he did that on purpose to his own toddler daughter. I would have reported him to the police. He's evil.

The top14 have to be highlighted in bold or underlined in ingredients which makes it easier to scan ingredients to see if something is safe. It's a lot harder to pick out if you aren't used to checking ingredients lists. Also they don't have to list every ingredient. This is where my daughters nightshade allergy is a problem as it includes tomato and paprika which are used as "natural" colouring/ flavour in a lot of foods. If they use less than 2% in the product they don't have to specify that it's a colouring in the ingredients, they can just have "natural colouring". It basically rules out most orange/red sweets or ice lollies etc as well as many sausages. Orange calypso lollies for example are coloured orange with paprika.... If only there was a fruit that was orange coloured!! 🤣

He went out of his way to buy some more a few weeks later (I'd bought them from a sweet shop and hed gone back to the same shop) and fed them to her and when the same thing happened,he laughed and said he didn't think it would matter
It's serious-dd had a much worse reaction and we ended up in the back of an ambulance,a hospital stay and a bollocking from the doctor (rightly so)

Was no social services referral made? Given that it wasn't an accident like the 1st time? And was deliberate? Honestly, I would have called the police. It was intentional harm.

That is awful, WTAF is wrong with some people?!
Thank goodness they eventually saw what arseholes they were being, but to what expense?! Your poor sister having to suffer and having her life risked just because they were so uneducated in allergies.

Yes, I know of the 14 allergens (which I think have to be listed by law in the UK in ingredient lists) but as you say, you can be allergic to anything.
It must be even harder to be allergic to something people are less likely to react to or that isn't recognised! Rice you would never usually think of for example as that's usually thought of as a beige, "safe" food.

Ban him

I remember when my narcissistic mother invited her best friends grandson to my ds's (7th) birthday party

The lad had a dairy allergy

My mother thought it was 'all in the mother's head' and 'a fuss about nothing' and made sure the lad was given a cheese sandwich

Yep,he was carted off to hospital and almost died (party rightly ruined)

She got off with it as she convinced his granny and mum that the lad had taken a bite before she realised (bollocks-i saw her give it to him)

All because 'she knew better'

Evil cow who STILL doesn't believe allergies exist!

(I did try to tell his parents what actually happened and they refused to believe me as 'she wouldn't have done that')

I have various serious allergies, I once had someone “test” my nut related one “to see whether you’re making it up”. They discovered that no, I am not. Never underestimate the stupidity and threat other people can bring. Ban him!

Ban them!!! My sister's exH's family thought the same about her nut allergy. They put nuts in the food to "trick" her into proving she didn't have a nut allergy. She immediately knew the first bite of the food, she started to go into anaphylaxis and the ambulance trip convinced them it was real. Good riddance to that awful family!!

Agree it’s weird. Tell him you no longer feel comfortable with him attending the party, since he’s been rude and dismissive of your daughter’s life threatening allergy.

100% agree, post a screenshot of his message to shine a high beam on this prick, and explain that as a result, you’re going to withdraw his invitation because you won’t risk anything happening to son’s DP.

text your friend too @bagpuss90 and tell her she’s invited, but he won’t be coming to your home again because of the message.

He made it awkward for her and for you. Do you think he gives a shit? Treat him as he treats others. He's responsible for any bad feelings, not you when you tell him where he can insert his bag of mixed nuts

Definitely uninvite the prick and send him this link. This poor woman is suffering the consequences of ignoranuses like this prick.

https://share.google/YYajOMzlO9EMcU2xT

So there's two issues there. First he's ignorant about nut allergies. Second, he thinks it's appropriate and acceptable to insult your family member.
If the first isn't a reason to uninvite him, the second is.

You've also considered the possibility that he might spike her. Even if this is a stretch, it's likely that he'll be rude and passively aggressive towards/about her.
Protect your family over this bellend

Thinking about it,this is exactly the sort of thing my dickhead ex would do

He's the sort of dickhead who would bring nuts in his pocket or make sure he'd scoffed a snickers before he came round to prove a point

I'm amazed he's not killed someone-he certainly fed (then) toddler dd some cheapy white chocolate buttons that she'd had a reaction to a few weeks before

(she went a blotchy red and was gasping-id given her the chocolate and rushed her to hospital,where they said to never give her this brand again as she had a mild reaction to them-i still feel really guilty but had no way of knowing)

He went out of his way to buy some more a few weeks later (I'd bought them from a sweet shop and hed gone back to the same shop) and fed them to her and when the same thing happened,he laughed and said he didn't think it would matter

It's serious-dd had a much worse reaction and we ended up in the back of an ambulance,a hospital stay and a bollocking from the doctor (rightly so)

We could have lost her because dickhead thought it was funny

She still can't eat that brand (no idea what's in them that sets her off) but to him,it was one big joke

He was the same with neat pineapple juice-he would give her it behind my back and I was left dealing with the worst nappy rash I've ever seen-her arse looked like a slab of steak

All for his own amusement-'but she likes it'

Maybe she did but certainly not litres of it neat

Glad he's an ex and when we broke up,he fucked off-i think he would have killed her if he hadnt

This is your own dear son's girlfriend?
Tell the ignorant pig he is not welcome if he thinks endangering the girl's live is a joke.

I voted YABU. That's because you've not told the ignorant prick to fuck off.

My son is your sons dp,I would absolutely tell him not to come! It’s life or death, what an absolute idiot and I’d be telling my friend that

Subject to the severity of the allergy just being in the room can trigger it if nuts have been used or eaten elsewhere. My sil has this with penicillin. Someone taking it can trigger a reaction if she is nearby.

So you have two choices here:

1. let knob come with friend so it's not awkward for friend but run the very real risk he will be a knob to your DIL or, worse bring nuts to prove he is right and potentially kill her; or
2. point out to knob nuts could kill DIL but spiders won't and if he says a word to DIL about allergies or brings anything containing nuts to the event he will be asked to leave and reported to police for attempted murder as he has already been warned of the consequences of nuts being in the vicinity of DIL and therefore should he bring them one can only assume he wishes to maliciously harm DIL

So guest dies but mate isn't offended...marvelous attitude.

I'd revoke the invite