AIBU to ban a guest over dismissing a severe nut allergy?

I guess people think this because so many people have self diagnosed intolerances like dairy or gluten etc so he’s probably putting it in that category. Totally ignorant and Down right dangerous. I would be uninviting him

He’s her problem, don’t make him yours. Uninvite him and explain why. Embarrassment is on his part not yours. If friend doesn’t understand she is no friend.

Sorry but that’s not worth your son’s dps life is it?
’you’re allowed your opinion, but not in my house when it risks the life of my family, you’re not welcome on Sunday. It might be helpful for you to know for the future that it would be a criminal offence to bring nuts near someone you’ve been told is anaphylactic.

This .

your friend may be unhappy about her BF being uninvited.

You’ll all be devastated is someone dies because he came.

I would say 'exposure to nuts will provoke anaphylactic shock, but I appreciate your position. In that case it's better that you don't come on this occasion'

But he probably would still come since he's a twat

I think if you turn this round op it may give you another take.
Say he does take something containing nuts, your son’s DP accidently eats this and dies. Would you then wish you had actually uninvited him so this was prevented?
If so uninvited him now regardless of your friends feelings

Put his PM in the group chat and watch everyone else rip them one

He sounds like a massive idiot, no way would he be coming to my house.

I got a pm this morning from my friends DP saying my sons DP needs to get over it and she would probably have the same reaction if someone threw a spider at her or she walked past a graveyard

don’t suppose you’d screenshot and post this message? @bagpuss90

I think you have to uninvite him. Your friends potential discomfort is trumped by the risk of death or serious injury to your sons DP.

@TwoBagsOfCompost - allergies can appear at any time. I was fine with penicillin, until I wasn't and I was in my 50s at the time. Fortunately nothing awful happened and no epi pen was needed, but my whole body swelled up, even my ears, and I was covered in the itchiest rash I've ever had in my life.

Your mate might see the idiot for what he is when you uninvite him.

When you contact your friend I'd also ask her not to bring anything as you feel you can't trust him not to have put a nut product in it.

Does he also think Covid wasn't "real"?

Unfortunately, allergies can just appear from nowhere. Not nuts in my case, thankfully, but after 40 years of taking one type of medication, I found myself with burning, blistering hands, coughing, swollen lips and mouth 20 minutes after taking two ibuprofen. I'm now not just unable to have those, I can't have any salicyclates at all and can't even use shampoo or body lotion without studying the ingredients list first.

This prick is probably hoping that there will be a big row so he can cut your friend off from you. Obviously, for safety, he has to be banned from attending, but separately, you could contact her and say that whilst you do not want him ever around as you feel he is a danger, you are worried for her and she can always contact you. Expect her to block you on his command, but at least you'll have made the offer first.

This. It might tell her something she needs to know.

I was told last night of a twin who died recently from a nut allergy. He was 23 and carried an epi-pen. Please OP, if you think this stupid man is likely to bring nuts to you house then uninvite him. As he’s your friends DP, speak to her and explain why you think it’s best if he stays away.

That person wants to help they never have to witness someone having an anaphylactic seizure! Tell the arsehole to stay away from the event! You are simply safeguarding sons DP and good on you for being vigilant too!

Does your friend know he's said this? Is she okay with that? And can she guarantee that he's not going to force the situation by bringing nuts so that your DS' partner has to "get over her problem" with them?

Does she know that her partner has contacted you to mock and dismiss your DIL's nut allergy?

Surely it's better to uninvite him or to read him the riot act even if it upsets your friend, rather than risk your DIL's health.

So you're more concerned about potential awkwardness for you than potential death for a guest? My mind boggles....tell him he is uninvited.

Yes, this - which is why I said upthread it may seem harsh but I'd be wary of inviting her too. Not because she's necessarily done anything wrong, it's him who's a twat) but because it'd be a potential risk having a dish from the household.

Agree that you should send his message to your friend and not invite him. I would also send a link such as this - to a bad outcome from exposure to nuts - and point out that it's the,same condition. In this sad case someone brought food to work and shared it.

My son has but allergy and carries an epipen. There are a lot of people who confuse food intolerance with allergy. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-66677890

I just am a bit sceptical about adults who until yesterday ate everything without a moments thought, and today they have a severe nut allergy to the point where they can’t be in the same house as a protein bar

Allergies can worsen or be more severe with each exposure. You don't always react the same way.
You could be *fine" one day, with just a bit of a reaction, then the next a serious one.

i weep for humanity

I'm sorry, but why is your friend's partner messaging you?
I'd be spitting feathers if I'm honest, and would certainly uninvite this man. I'd also cast him adrift from any further social gatherings I may be hosting in the future.