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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse leaving our toddler upstairs with just a monitor?

92 replies

LittleMermaid123 · Yesterday 11:01

AIBU here?
DP and I get married at the end of the year, our DD will be 15 months old. We haven’t really got childcare for the wedding evening and all family will be at the party wanting to enjoy themselves. Not a problem, I had a baby so I will leave if needed as she comes first. We all know what it’s like with overtired kids. Went to visit in laws and MIL asks who’s watching DD at the wedding if she needs to go to bed and I explain if someone is happy to take her up to the room when needed great but we don’t have anyone yet. She offers to watch DD for the evening. About to thank her when she says “you have a monitor don’t you?” …
I’m confused and say yes?
Her plan was to put DD to bed and come back to the wedding with the monitor on. I was horrified and said absolutely not! I thought my reaction was normal until chatting to a friend who seemed to think it was fine… am I going nuts?!

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 11:23

toeaseatroubledmind · Yesterday 11:17

Incredibly unlikely.

Show quote history

But absolutely possible. Particularly baby crying and MIL missing it. Fires happen, bad things happen, the ‘it won’t be me’ attitude is a stupid one to have when there are several other alternatives for this 1 day event.

Gardenisablooming · Yesterday 11:18

We got married when ds was 1...he flaked out in someone's arms and got put in the pram. No big deal ime.

toeaseatroubledmind · Yesterday 11:17

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 11:12

And as a result, if there’s a fire, or a break in, or MIL accidentally leaves the monitor in the toilets, baby will magically be fine?

Show quote history

Incredibly unlikely.

NeverDropYourMooncup · Yesterday 11:14

Buggy downstairs and she'll either sleep or won't, but will have any number of relatives happy to watch, hold or otherwise take care of her.

Naurrr · Yesterday 11:13

Would a child be happy to sleep alone in a strange location after a hyped, long day? The monitor would just be a speaker playing the sound of a crying child.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 11:12

toeaseatroubledmind · Yesterday 11:10

100% okay. You’ll be the only ones there

And as a result, if there’s a fire, or a break in, or MIL accidentally leaves the monitor in the toilets, baby will magically be fine?

Anewuser · Yesterday 11:10

Sleepytimepleaseee · Yesterday 11:07

When I got married my kids were 3 and 1. We specifically booked a venue with rooms so that we didn't have to leave early and then did a rota of family to sit outside the room in the corridor with a monitor (to avoid risking waking them) in thirty minutes slots. We put them to bed and then swapped with the first person on the rota.

Edited

I love this idea.

failing that, book a babysitter. Will be money well spent.

toeaseatroubledmind · Yesterday 11:10

100% okay. You’ll be the only ones there

jay55 · Yesterday 11:09

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You’d not be able to relax and enjoy yourself.

Sleepytimepleaseee · Yesterday 11:07

When I got married my kids were 3 and 1. We specifically booked a venue with rooms so that we didn't have to leave early and then did a rota of family to sit outside the room in the corridor with a monitor (to avoid risking waking them) in thirty minutes slots. We put them to bed and then swapped with the first person on the rota.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 11:07

The baby can just stay up or sleep in the buggy

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 11:06

LittleMermaid123 · Yesterday 11:05

Sorry should have said, it’s a hotel style venue but we do have exclusive hire

Show quote history

100% not ok

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · Yesterday 11:06

If you are in the UK, get a babysitter. There are agencies that specialise in Wedding childcare / babysitters.

Original poster
LittleMermaid123 · Yesterday 11:05

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 11:02

No it’s not ok unless this is a party in your house

Sorry should have said, it’s a hotel style venue but we do have exclusive hire

OP posts:
SpottyPyjama · Yesterday 11:05

To be fair to your MIL, some hotels offer ‘baby listening’ services where staff listen out for your child on a monitor. It’s not something I’d be comfortable with, but it’s not completely outrageous either.

Nousernameideaaga · Yesterday 11:03

Just keep her up and have the whole family village look after her , European style

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 11:02

No it’s not ok unless this is a party in your house

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