AIBU to hesitate about daughter, boyfriend and baby moving in?

This. Also, “with child”? I wonder what century that poster is from 😂.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but the best way you can help both of your daughters is to teach them to be independent adults.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help your children, and if this was some kind of emergency situation where they had lost their job and were going to be homeless or were escaping domestic abuse, then absolutely no one would argue against them moving in for a bit, but at this age, having never lived independently (at least I can’t see that mentioned anywhere), all you’re creating is failure to launch and they’re going to expect mum and dad to bail them out forever.

Agreeing to this, and also letting your other daughter dictate who lives in your house won’t do any of them any favours in the long run.

Because it’s 2026

Huh? Our local authority in England calls it the Welfare Support Fund and you can apply for discretionary housing payments, for instance for a deposit for private rental if you'd otherwise have nowhere to live. Obviously not the same as a TV, not sure why you said that? Maybe don't talk about things you don't know about?

Hmm. On this basis, I would not be inviting this man to live in your house. Once he is there, it will be much harder to get him to move out if things aren't working out.

I would let your dd know that she and the baby can stay as long as they want/need, but if she wants to live with her BF as well, then they will need to make other arrangements.

I’m honestly quite shocked that 26, your daughter is even asking this.

At 26, I had been living in another country for 5 years. Why are any of them still living at home unless saving for a deposit, finishing up uni, etc?

They really should be a bit more independent by this age. If they’re making the lifelong commitment of having a child, then they need to be organising all the things that come with that, such as finding a place to live.

Exactly this. Its beneath them and their parents are horrified at the thought as well

Its the ideal solution, it often needs no or a low deposit, bills are usually incuded, theres no CTAX to pay and no long sign up and no guarantor needed usually.

They should be finding their own place is there any reason why they can’t? But saying that your other adult dd can’t dictate who lives in your house either and she should also be looking to move out at some point.

Why don’t young people live in house shares these days? Too scared of roughing it?!

This sounds like a recipe for disaster tbh. A new born baby is stressful at the best of times, but all of you living under the same roof will just intensify everything, especially if DD2 and DD1'S boyfriend don't get on.

Is this a planned pregancy, do you know? Because if it is, DD1 should have made sure they had suitable living arrangements before embarking on this. Even if it's not, its hugely unfair to DD2 to expect her to make sacrifices just because DD1 finds herself in this situation.

By all means support her but that doesn't mean they all have to live with you. You can help her financially if you are able, help her look for suitable accommodation, offer to babysit etc.

Why can they not move in with her boyfriend's parents, if they have more space?

OP, a lot of people have suggested your daughter lives with you, and her boyfriend stays over a few times a week.
Just no! Do you really think he will step up? He has shown himself to be utterly feckless and irresponsible. If they want to be together, they get their own place.

This. Adults live like adults in their own space . Your daughters are old enough to have jobs and to live in a house share or flat with other young people. If your oldest daughter is old enough to have a child with a long term boyfriend then she's old enough to live with him elsewhere.

At 26 why isn’t your daughter moving out. No way would let my 23 dd live here with a boyfriend a baby, she’d be moving out

Daughter and baby live with you, boyfriend sorts out somewhere for them all to live. They’re not teens having a baby! And he sounds like a knob

Exactly! Who would decide to start their family, THEN save for a deposit to buy/rent?

If both your dd are not in the position to move out, you need to put them above the father of the baby, maybe reach a compromise that he can stay 2 or 3 nights a week.

Your dd2 has expressed that she is not comfortable with this situation, it is not fair that she would feel uncomfortable in her own home.

I fear the only right answer is a no to moving in and compromise on a way to help your dd1 have support with the baby.

Which you don’t decide until you have somewhere to house that baby… (rental or mortgage).

They are adults having a baby. Not even particularly young adults.
Why on earth would they all be living with you?

Maybe stop mother henning your ADULT children. Sounds like chaos. It’s your house you have the people live in your house you want. Anyone not happy with that is welcome to find their own accommodation. Everyone pays rent and their share of the bills if they stay.

If he's already cheated on her when things were in the easy, early stages, I don't imagine he'll be around to trouble you much longer once the baby arrives...

Is allowing her to stay but not him an option? Might concentrate their minds.

The “councils welfare fund”? New one on me. Where do I apply? Will it cover that new TV I fancy?

No. Absolutely hell no. This will become the status quo and they will be there for years. You will be back on this forum in a year two asking for help to get them out as you are so unhappy and broke. You DD2 has as much rights as DD1 and way more than the boyfriend. DD2 doesn’t want him there, ergo he cannot come. But don’t blame DD2, say YOU don’t want him to live with you either. DD1 and baby can stay but boyfriend can’t. I’d take a big step back and let them sort themselves and their child out.

What a mess. Do any of these young adults work? What are they contributing to running the household?

If he is too bloody idle to pick up a box of condoms and use them knowing he is going to be reliant on other peoples charity and goodwill to house a child then I doubt he is going to metamorphose into super dad anytime soon.

So, they decided to have a baby first???