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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hesitate about daughter, boyfriend and baby moving in?

508 replies

DannyOD · 08/08/2026 10:23

Okay - so this will be long so strap in.

My two DD’s (26 and 22) live with me and DH. They have never particularly got on and Dd2 dislikes Dd1’s boyfriend intensely. For reference Dd2 has AuDHD and finds him too loud and in your face. He also cheated on Dd1 6 years ago which she has forgiven but Dd2 hasn’t.

Dd1 has just announced that she is pregnant. She wants to move her BF in and live with us when the baby is born. DD2 is adamant that this cannot happen as she says there is not enough room (we can do it with a bit of shuffling about - there is more room at his parents house) and that she couldn’t bear to live with him and a baby and if we go ahead she will move out and live with my elderly Mum. She is spiralling a bit anyway as she has finished her Uni course this year and finds change really challenging.

I just don’t know what to do. I would love to have the baby here and help Dd1 but this is Dd2’s home too and I need to take her feelings into account too.

OP posts:
MurielTheTerrible · 08/08/2026 10:29

If she can't afford to live independently/with her boyfriend, she can't afford a baby. And I certainly would not have him move in with you.

ChaToilLeam · 08/08/2026 10:28

They should be finding their own place.

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 08/08/2026 10:27

W0tnow · 08/08/2026 10:26

As much as I love a newborn, I think I’d be saying to my daughter that if she’s old enough to have a baby, she’s old enough to find accommodation to raise it. And my daughters get along fine! Of course I’d help out, but I don’t want any son in law, or daughter in law living with me.

Edited

Quoted wrong post

W0tnow · 08/08/2026 10:26

As much as I love a newborn, I think I’d be saying to my daughter that if she’s old enough to have a baby, she’s old enough to find accommodation to raise it. And my daughters get along fine! Of course I’d help out, but I don’t want any son in law, or daughter in law living with me.

Timeforachange26 · 08/08/2026 10:26

No no no. Don't do it. Let them sort their own place to luve

Youhadrambledonfor18pages · 08/08/2026 10:26

Your 26 year old daughter and her boyfriend (presumably a similar age) should really be trying to move out and live independently if they’ve taken the decision to have a baby.

PollyBell · 08/08/2026 10:25

Of course they can't it is a disaster waiting to happen, how on earth is it fair?

Sleepytimepleaseee · 08/08/2026 10:24

Why aren't they all moving out?